I cannot stand my 10 year old stepdaugher
Me and my husband have 5 kids between the two of us, mine are 10, 7, and 3 and have had a pretty crappy deal not having their real dad in their lives. He has a 10 year old and a 2 year old with different moms. The two year old has had a raw deal by having a loser mother who rarely lets us see her. Of all the kids, his 10 year old daughter has been living the high life with a great mom, dad, endless amounts of grandparents and family all giving her insane amounts of attention. Long story short, she is the center of the universe and we are all revolving around her.
She mostly lives with her mom, but spends plenty of time with us and basically runs the damn show at all times. My husband purchases new clothes, electronics, toys, for her on a consistent basis as do other members of his family. He has also taken her on vacations without me and the other children. She has everything she could possibly need, while my kids and my 2 year old stepdaughter have the basic necessities only. I do not have the means to spend frivilous amounts of money on my kids!!!
My husband spends his days and nights constantly talking about how amazing she is and what an "angel" she is and how perfect she is and blah blah...on and on. We can't go through one dinner at our house, his parents, or anywhere without talking about the awesomeness that is her.
I think that this is so rude of him and the rest of the family to not give the same acknowledgement to his other daughter and to my kids (who have no other family, really). It is sad that they condone turning a child into a self absorbed, shallow brat who has her butt wiped every step of the way. I can't stand it!!!!!!
Am I just a b***h or do I have a good point?
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Comments
Wow...You really need to find
Wow...You really need to find a way to filter the jealousy here. Your husbands child came before you and your family joined the group. It is not the childs fault she is the center of attention as that again was established b4 you came along. Dig in and cause issues - criticize and you will put everyone against you. In the long run, you and your kids will be back on your own. And what a shame that would be to do that to your kids - as you have said they have had it rough. Your husband obviously thinks the world of this child and you honestly need to deal with it in a constructive manner. If everyone else thinks she is great - why don't you????
I am just saying.....
Right-I thought this person
Right-I thought this person HAD to be a troll, but she has been here for 14 weeks. Go figure. Well, she has no blogs so the jury is still out.
Mindygirl1, So you think the
Mindygirl1,
So you think the solution is for the OP to act like this kids crap doesnt stink either?????
What a shame it would be for the OP's kids to feel like second class citizens to this "angel"-but your advice is for the OP to suck it up so she doesnt end up back on her own?
You know, worse things have happened to women than having to be a single mom without a man. Welcome to the new millenium.
Good Lord. I cannot believe
Good Lord. I cannot believe the advice given above. What is going on today?????
The kid sounds like a brat, and the dad sounds like the classic Disney Dad. I don't think you are jealous (wonder where someone got THAT from), I think you see the obvious differences in how the children are treated and resent it. Its a normal reaction, not to mention how the other people in the family feel about it.
The problem here is HIM. If he is not willing to change his behavior and treat everyone equally, then I don't predict good things coming from this.
^^^THIS^^^ This is NOT a skid
^^^THIS^^^ This is NOT a skid problem. This is a Guilty Daddy problem.
I can relate with some of
I can relate with some of what you are saying. SD has a big family on both sides, and DD has me and the acquired family through DH. Sd always had lots of attention, waayyy more stuff and presents than DD, and on and on. My Dh did not do more for his daughter than mine, he did the same, but he did not feel that we should try and compensate and give DD more. I had that instinctual feeling that this was unfair, combined with SD being very difficult and a bully to DD and an intense mean streak. And here she was , for all purposes, rewarded by being showered with stuff all the time. Not just stuff, but big family events.
We gave DD what we could and that was that. No nails done, no hair dressers, no expensive clothes. But such is life, it really is. And such is life for your kids, they have less than the 10 year old. I don't think we can make everything fair for them. Where would it end?
The worst part of it, is SD becoming spoiled and entitled, if that is the case, that will make for a difficult child/adult to be around, and I feel for you there. As for your kids, give them what you do, love them and know they are learning early on what life can be like.
Good luck to you.
Agree with it is Disney Dad's
Agree with it is Disney Dad's Problem. ALL Children in a home need to be put at an EQUAL status.
if some one Messes up of course they should be punished and if someone does SOMETHING good they show get rewarded. but playing favorites in a blended family is not good....Does he want his Skids to hate him because I guarantee if they dont already they will down the road.
Ok...ladies, I searched
Ok...ladies, I searched Mindygirl's participation on this site & I'm SURE she's a troll...obviously she agrees with child adoration & believes that SP's should take the back seat, always & forever.
Saying that...on to the OP...
I understand where you are coming from & can appreciate your frustration (anger) about the whole scenario. It doesn't seem that your SD is to blame but rather your DH & your Inlaws. This child is 10 & obviously is simply used to being treated like the queen who poops gold. I'm sorry but if MY SO/DH went on vacation without me but rather with his child, I'd have a HUGE issue with that.
As far as your own BKids go...sadly, inlaws aren't required to accept them as they would their own gkids...there's no forcing the issue really. You can only do what you can & ensure that your children know that YOU love them. My BD was a no-show throughout my childhood & I can honestly say that my mom did very good job ensuring that her children knew what love was (even though we were poor as dirt), we were happy & loved. How is your DH with your BKids? Is he playing the "daddy" role or is he just someone who pays the bills? If he's disengaged from your kids for whatever reason, what reasons would that be?
It sounds to me like your DH (you actually MARRIED this man??) needs a wake up call...couples counseling couldn't hurt. Unless he makes a change, this situation will only get worse. Imagine this 10yo as an entitled teenager...ugh!
He does play a father role to
He does play a father role to my kids...and I love him for that. Here is good example of the crap that takes place on a reg basis:
Family dinner-my 10 year old interrupts the conversation (like most kids tend to do). What happens? He gets told to wait his turn and that he is being rude by interrupting. ok...cool...he can wait his turn.
His 10 year old interrupts the convo and what does everyone do? They stop talking to hear her precious little words and suddenly the whole dinner talk is whatever she wants to talk about. Everyone hangs on her words and oohhs and awwws over each thing she says...
So unfair!
Mindygirl1...this girl is not
Mindygirl1...this girl is not nice. She constantly puts my kids down, calls them idiots, purposely rubs in their faces about all the amazing things she has done that they haven't got to do, etc. She is rude and knows exactly what she is doing. It isn't only my kids and her sister that get the raw end of the deal it is other cousins on her other side of her family that don't get the royal treatment that she gets.
It makes me want to puke. I get plenty of attention. I am not jealous. The whole post was about how it makes my kids and other SD feel. Reread and reply if you wish.
Is that maybe why BM2 doesn't
Is that maybe why BM2 doesn't want SD2 around? If I were a parent, I would certainly avoid putting my kid/s into this type of situation.
How long have you been married?
No BM2 lost her other two
No BM2 lost her other two kids to abuse and wants to keep this child so she doesn't look like a total piece of crap. There is a major custody battle going on due to the fact we think that there is abuse going on in that household. It is a terrible situation. She doesn't know anything much about our lives or SD1.
We have been married 1 year.
I think DH is the main
I think DH is the main problem here. He is doing SD a disservice by not correcting her misbehavior.
As for your inlaws, unfortunately, you can't force them to love or lime your kids. You can make sure that they treat your kids respectfully when they see them. All you can do is let th kidsm know that YOU love them.
Couples counseling sounds like a good idea. It's not SD who is the problem-it's DH.