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In the end....

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Sun, 11/20/2011 - 12:08am

I find it sickening to think that "IN THE END" the children will understand. They should not have to "UNDERSTAND"... They should not feel alienated. They should not be forced to make a choice that will effect the rest of their life... They should not be lied to by their BM and forced to hate their father and step mother. They are learning right now, how to be judgmental, separated, divided, hateful, and sassy. They are learning how to be manipulative, disrespectful, selfish and intolerant. For what reason? Why do children have to learn this horrible tactics because and adult can not care for them instead of being selfish and more concerned about bad mouthing their father... Or trying to put their Dad in Jail, or Suspend his dads Drivers License.... What about her breaking the court order and refusing visitations? What about her calling the cops on our home just to try to get her way? When will she finally understand that she is not above the law and she should not try to manipulate the system, lie to the system, just because she thinks she has the right?

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icecubenow's picture

Submitted by icecubenow on Sun, 11/20/2011 - 3:35am

My SD17's BM has done all of those things, too. She has no regard for the law. She married a felon and what a gem HE is.

BM is a child herself. She thinks like a 12-yr old, acts like one, makes decisions like one, changes jobs (that don't even pay minimum wage often), rarely paid a pittance of child support ($50/mo) and has stopped paying it all together for about a year already, drills into SD17 what a piece of sh*t I am...

We had a GAL in our case. BM couldn't pay the bill, wanted US to pay it. (Ummm. NO.) So, BM offered to pay the GAL $10/month until the bill was satisfied. Don't know/don't care if that was ever done.

Today, BM's felon husband has a variety of medical issues related to Type 2 Diabetes, which he ignores. Their topic of conversation when SD17 visits?? All of the life insurance BM will get when he kicks the bucket.

Nice. Quality time with BM.

AliceP's picture

Submitted by AliceP on Sun, 11/20/2011 - 11:01am

I'm really torn who to blame. I get so angry when DH calls and we talk to them and they say things like "Can you make this quick?" or say nothing but then their retarded family is in the back round suddenly needing to talk louder and grab the phone from them and tickle them while they are on the phone with us etc...that stuff is not their fault, that is their other family sabotaging. When they are here they don't distance themselves so much, they try to please us, but then they get with BM and are afraid to show they like us. I like to think about when they are older and are hell on wheels and their BM is gonna wonder why they are such handfuls, atleast DH can honestly say he did not have anything to do with how they turned out because they were taught he was not important.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 11/20/2011 - 1:06pm

The kids have no choice but to respect their BPs and treat the BPS and their SOs with respect. If they don't, I blame the BPs.

If the blended family opposition filed false claims on my family or called the police to my home on false alegations I would own their idiot asses and they would be thrilled when I handed them a bag of $1.00 McD's burgers when I picked my Skid up from visiting them in their fridge box under the overpass.

I have no tolerance for crap like this and I for damned sure can bring a world of far more significant hurt down on them then they can on me and my family.

Grrrrrr!!! This kind of crap is exactly why my wife and I made the decision a few years in to our marriage to own their idiot asses and to smack the crap out of them with the CO when they so much as thought about deviating from the CO or to try to manipulate my wife or my Skid.

It took a few years but we had them so gun shy about F-ing with us that we had a 50+yo grown woman whining any time she tried any crap with us at all. Oh, she tried to threaten, yell, etc... but when it was all said and done we would tell her "if you have a problem with anything we have told you that you will do we will see you in court" and she would whine "Oh, you would like that wouldn't you".

No quarter, no compassion, no caring and no tolerance when it comes to a toxic and vitriolic blended family oppostion.

I do not blame anyone because I did not tolerate manipulative crap from the SpermClan or SpermClan-esque behavior from my Skid. He knew damned well what the standards of behavior and performance were in our home and he knew we would not tolerate any crap or excuses when he failed behave appropriately.

Even when he was a toddler and we would send him to SpermLand 80%+ toilet trained, talking, begining to read, etc... we would only tolerate regression for a short time when he returned from SpermLand visitation.

He would leave having the occassional accident in his training pants but for the most part toilet trained and come back in a God aweful smelling loaded pullup with butt rash so bad he would bleed when we cleaned him up. He would leave asking for what he wanted "Mommy/Daddy can I please have some mil(t)?"(when he was 2ish he had a problem with the hard K sound so he substituted T) and come home pointing and grunting instead of asking and would howl and sob if we told him to use his words.

For this I blame THEM but we worked together (my wife, SS and I) to get through the crap he inherited form the shallow and poluted end of his gene pool and got back on the right track together.

He learned pretty quickly upon return from visitation that the SpermClan shit would not fly at home. It would take a few weeks of post visitation detox for him to get completely back to normal but he knew our tolerance for the behavior that was tolerated in SpermLand was limited.

There were certainly many occassions when I wanted to fly to SpermLand and beat the DipShit and his Hag of a mother within an inch of their worthless toothless toxic vitriolic lives for what they put my kid through but rather than blame we just lived lives that were far better than they could ever be.

No blame but a whole lot of gloating and looking down our noses at them. We did the hard work, made the sacrifices and put the Skid's best interests first and now we and he are reaping the rewards. They are wallowing in yet another generation of abject gene pool failure. Sadly it is my Son's SpermIdiot half sibs who will suffer and that breaks my heart. I can save my son, I can't save his sibs.