HI I am new to this site. Have been reading blogs over the last few days and decided to join to ask for some advice. I am a divorced mom of two children 21 and 25 both of whom are in school, one college and other in medical school. I have been on my own for the last twelve years, raised my children with the help of my mom and working two jobs to this day to keep kids in school, etc. I started dating my bf (boyfriend) almost 4 and a half years ago. He has two children of his own. One 23 out of college, not working for the past year, except for a summer camp job but basically very unmotivated mostly due to his addiction to alcohol among other things he says he has discontinued. SD is same age as my daughter who is due to graduate and she still has three more years of college left. Mostly because she keeps dropping classes because she ends up not putting in time to do the work, partying too much. My bf's ex is an alcoholic along with her biological father and brothers so it runs rampant on his children's mother's side of the family. BF does not make any attempts to curtail the drinking amount his children or even speak to them about the possible issues involved with alcohol abuse. BF's ex wife already arrested for drunk driving and is continuing to party, now with her children. Multiple pictures on FB with her and bf's children partying away. BF is not on fB and therefore does not see this stuff. But I do. SS goes to "happy hours" with mom and SD is out partying with mom also. She had come home one evening and pulled into bf's garage with her car and smashed into the refrigerator in garage and I saw on her fb page the next day that she was "drinking margaritas" with mom at the beach all afternoon. We had gone away for bf's 50th birthday and sd and ss started their drinking the first day we were there before noon. Needless to say by evening SD was three sheets to the wind as they say. Swaying down the walkway with me with my arms held out behind her to catch her if she fell. We came back to the hotel and she was going to the room with SS to use the bathroom. SS decided to run off to the local liquor store to get more booze and sent her to the room, Unfortunately she ended up in someone else's room two doors down and starting throwing all their belongings out of the window. SS came back to find her missing and we all went on a wild goose chase until the neighbor two doors down came back and found SD in the room asking "why they were in her room". Security was called and we were lucky they didn't press charges. No consequences for all that. We were told by SD that night that it was "never to be brought up again". BF did nothing. She constantly lies to him, disrespects him and talks down to him. I have lost so much respect for him through all of this. Have tried to politely talk to him about things, saying I am uncomfortable with how she treats him and speaks to him and he basically shrugs it off. Says he feels bad for her because they divorced. She is lazy, and a hugh slob. Their rooms and bathroom are beyond belief. Its as if they all just come there to shower and sleep. They cook and leave dirty dishes in the sink for days. Once when I was there there were dishes SD left in the sink for the entire labor day weekend. I have said I would never move in with him. He never sees her as doing anything wrong in his eyes. She once posted a very crude remark on FB and someone sent him a copy of the post and of course she lied and said a "friend put it on her page". If so, my answer to him was why wouldn't you delete it. No punishment.

I care about him but this has taken a huge toll on my relationship with him. I broke it off early fall and he wants to try again. I can't stand the thought of ever having to interact with his daughter again. I feel like I can't be honest with him about her and how I feel about her. What do i do? I refuse to act like a phony and pretend that I care one bit about SD. There are no redeeming qualities about her. IN fact all of her high school friend have dumped her. She changes friends like she changes underware. Always someone new in her life, supposedly got her arrested for shoplifting. Of course it wasn't her fault. it was the new found friend's fault. Always poor SD.

Do I just say enough is enough and pack it in?