Lily-Bug I remember Oprah saying - when someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM.

You can't force him to do anything, he should want to do it. I understand he is pretty much fresh out of a marriage and is seems like you two met almost the moment he left his wife, so he really hasn't had time to sort out the first marriage before he began a relationship with you. If you two are living together, he may already assume he is in a marriage with you (but he has an escape clause) because there is no legal entanglement. However, I would take one step at a time, you really dont' want a baby if he truly is not ready that is not fair to you, but more importantly not fair to the baby, and in time he will probably resent you for it anyway.

I think if he is talking marriage with you, then you are entitiled to expect he will first get a divorce. Perhaps get that settled first, spend some time as a couple and then see if you both want children. However it may be that he really does not want anymore children and he is just putting off telling you. You need to find out exaclty what he wants, and what his long term intentions are. Then you can work out what you want from this relationship.

Be aware though, if you should marry, thing with the stepdaughter may become quite different so read some more stories here and prepare yourself for the road ahead. On the other hand things may work out fine. But educate yourself on what could happen for your sake, for the sake of the relationship, and most importntly for the sake of the child. PS: They don't stay 3 forever

Good grief, why on earth are you worried about starting an argument with a guy who refuses to get divorced?

He's married to one woman while living with another. In 2 years he has not come up with $$ for a divorce. Yet he's talking about marrying and having a kid with #2.

RUN RUN RUN RUN

So here is what my opinion is, take it or leave it.

He is still "bruised" from the separation and not even divorced yet. Even if he has no feelings for the eventual ex wife, he still has no closure. He is not going to want to rush in to a relationship with you and have a family. When I first met SO, he was not interested in ever getting married again or having any other children.

It took him 3 years before he really wanted to start dating anyone seriously (we started talking 3 years after his divorce) and after a year and half of dating we started talking about the possibility of kids in the future. That is 4 years after he divorced that he was ready to talk about a new potential family. Your bf sounds like he still has some healing to do from the separation. You may not want to leave him, but I don't think he was ready do jump in to a serious relationship yet. He really needed to get his life in order before getting involved with someone else.

All I can tell you is you might have to wait it out for a while for him to stop procrastinating and close that chapter in his life. Once he does that, he will feel ready to move to a new chapter. Until then, you are in limbo. Then you have to ask yourself, is that where you want to be for now?

Okay good, then your problem is solved. Your say your are not going to leave him, and you are willing to wait. There's your answer. Wait until he is ready to divorce, and wait until he is ready to have kids.

Oh mine Oh mine. I am speechless. $350 and the fellow can't afford. Ya sure you want to be with a person who can't come up with $350 to file for a divorce.

Lady, you are being duped by this guy. Obviously, he wants his cake and eats it too!

Anyone who agree with me, let's me see your hands up.

So here's the thing... My Husband wouldn't get a divorce from his first wife while he was with his psycho x (before me). He had every excuse you can imagine, including "no money" to file. The real reason was--- he was scared that if he got divorced from her he wouldn't have an excuse not to marry psycho Gf. So as long as he was "married" he wouldn't have to commit to Gf.
Now when i came along he couldnt get that divorce fast enough!!! (lmao)
Not saying that's how it is in your case but, if he loves you and isn't scared of that commitment then he should step it up and get that divorce! You don't have to get married right away.. Take it slow as he wants after that. But there's NO excuse for him holding on to that "paper"!!!!

What would happen if you sat down with him and told him what you wrote here? Could you tell him how this makes you feel? Would that be heard and matter to him? Would he understand and say yes, I've been lazy? Would he brush off your feelings? If the latter is the case, then please think about your future and the times when you will be sad, hurt and lonely and do you want someone that will hear you and care? Can you be 100% honest about this with him, which includes speaking of your fears and insecurities? I would try that, 100% honesty about what you feel and think, admitting that this is just you and how you feel---then see what happens. If your tone is not accusatory and he still can't handle it, I would think twice about getting any more involved.