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The silly games...

shielded2009's picture

So on Thursday, BM sent DH some 1/2 random text about some event SD is supposed to be involved in today...It was a forwarded email from her girl scout leader...It's the kind of email that gives limited information because you already know the big picture...No names of adults...No name of the event...no nothing...Pretty much she's supposed to be a part of one of a million parades going on today in our city...The email said something like, "Be at 3rd street at 7:45am for the parade. Ms. Whosits will be out with a sign...The girls will wear jeans and x,y,z..Don't give them too much to drink as there wont be bathrooms around..."

There was a phone number included in the text for more information...DH called the number...He got no response or call back...He sent BM a text that she needed to give him some information on what the hell is the "event" about...She doesn't respond...

DH says..."OH well...I guess she's not going...I'm not going to be traipsing around God knows where for God knows how long when I have a gang of stuff to do Saturday...Plus I've got to get Annie to the vet, and that's an ordeal in and of itself..."

So SD is upset that she can't go to this "thing", and DH tells her..."Sweetie...If I told you that I wanted you to sweep the floor but didn't provide for you a broom or dust pan, could you sweep?" SD said no...DH said..."Well that's the position I'm in right now...I can't just randomly do anything without the proper information...I've asked your mother for it and she hasn't responded...I'm sorry..."

End of discussion...

I don't know why BM can't just share the information...She's so hell bent on keeping DH out of her life as much as possible that SD suffers...So she'll randomly do stuff like this and expect DH to drop everything...and he usually doesn't...She'll either tell DH the day of or the night before, like he doesn't have a life...Then when DH can't change his plans, she tells SD that DH doesn't care about her, or he's mean or not right for not taking her...

Then she tells the folks that DH is hard to deal with, non cooperative and a dead-beat...So whenever DH DOES get the information he needs in a timely manner and takes SD, he's always getting looked at crazy by the other parents or the coaches and leaders...

It's such a terrible tactic...

Comments

stepfamilyfriend's picture

That is very unfortunate. I think that given the situation he really is doing the right thing by not dropping everything to chase some event he does not enough about~ just to prove he is involved and does care. I think he is doing the best he can without turning into a guilty daddy.
As for bm, it is sad that she has to resort to this to seem like the better parent, making her daughter pay the price. Almost ironic, really. SD may be bummed out now and influenced by bm but I think the more you guys continue to be just fair and refusing to comply with bm's non sensical bull...the better off she will be.
Sorry you have to deal with these kind if games.

shielded2009's picture

The "guilty daddy" is what I'm afraid of...He's been taking some HUGE bullets from BM, and I'm afraid that one day he's going to break down...He does a great job with keeping everything tempered...