Strange Behaviour
Has anyone ever experienced this situation or anything like it?
I do not have a relationship with my husbands 2 daughters so this actually affects only my husband at the moment. I think everyone here would say that I'd 'disengaged' with them. Won't bore you with the reasons but I had to distance myself from them.
After many months of upset from these two people things have at last settled down and my husband sees them about once a fortnight for a few hours (they are 22 and 24)when he see's them they are pleasant and do not give him any problems. We had a similar pattern before when they were fine with him for 3 years, and then suddenly we got a load of venom from them one night totally out of the blue and they dug up all their grievances from the past. We then had 12 months of shit from them, and the upshot of it was a major incident with them at our home and I was very ill afterwards.
I'm rambling on!
My worry basically is that they are 'pretending' to be fine like before but it will all boil over again.
How can people pretend to be fine if they are not? We know they are furious because we got married this year. We know they are jealous - not exactly sure why. They are both possessive people and want to control. So they are suppressing all of this. Maybe I shouldn't worry. Maybe they have changed.
My husband says we'll deal with it if and when it happens.
He's just relieved when he doesn't need to deal with the drama.
Not sure I've explained this situation very clearly, sorry.
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Comments
It is hard to put feelings
It is hard to put feelings into words, especially when they are very intense!
These girls are adults! I would strongly suggest that DH tells them it's time they acted like young women and not spoiled brats.
What is done is done, NO do overs!
I'd suggest telling them that it's OK for them not to forget what happened in the past, but they really do need to move forward instead of becoming emotional cripples...right? Suggest to them that they take all that they have learned of what 'not to do' forward with them and use it to positively influence their future relationships.
When they are behaving badly then I would suggest that DH leaves wherever they are at the time, it's not like they are babies and cannot find their way back to their respective homes....right? Just do not dignify the crap! It's hard, believe me I know how hard it is! We had SKids from they were 10 years old up until age 18 and there are some horror stories! It's not over yet by any means with them but DH is finally seeing the light, thus helping them to see it too.
You are both right of
You are both right of course.
Thank you for your comments and support, greatly appreciated.
Kx