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BM makes me sick...literally

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 9:56am

I despise that BM has the power to literally make me sick to my stomach. Just hearing her name gives me anxiety. I resent that I have to live my life with this constant anxiety over a piece of crap woman that calls herself a mother. I hate that she can control what goes on in my life just because she is my husbands child's BM. There is always that possibility that every decision we make as a family can be affected by DH's first family. It just pisses me off. I was watching tv last night and a woman had the same name as BM..just hearing it got my stomach in knots and I got so angry thinking about how I constantly feel this way because of that evil waste of a human being.

Comments

littlemommy's picture

Submitted by littlemommy on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 9:57am

I feel the exact same way. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but it's good sometimes just to know you're not alone.

krazykate12's picture

Submitted by krazykate12 on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:28am

Same here Sad After 3 years I thought it would be better but it still comes in waves. Sometimes it is okay and I don't have the anxiety and other times I am literally :sick: when something reminds me of her or my situation.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:56am

I hear ya! BM#1 doesn't bother me so much, she rarely calls/texts DH and I think of her as just an annoying bug on the bottom of my shoe. But I loathe BM#2, she is one who feels that because she had a child with DH that DH owes her the world, she is intrusive and disprectful. What totally sucks is my best friend AND my daycare gal both share her name. I seriously have a hard time spitting their names out in conversation because I can't help but think of that nasty bitch when I do.

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:14am

If I say anything about WORK to my DH, I always use the terminology "my boss" instead of my boss's actual first name because it = BM's first name.

I told my boss that.... "I'm sorry, 'my boss' but I cannot bring myself to address you by your first name." She said I could address her by her last name, she wouldn't get offended. or her initials.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:23am

Yes, my only saving grace is that BM#2 goes by the nickname version of her name and my best friend and day care gal both go by the full/proper name. I absolutely downright REFUSE to use BM's nickname EVER! I would rather swallow nails.

Ok, maybe I'm being petty and immature, but it is what it is. I also NEVER refer to my ExH by his first name.. I just call him "The Idiot" and everyone knows who I am talking about.

ollies mom's picture

Submitted by ollies mom on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 1:30pm

The sickness comes and goes with me. When I first entered the relationship with my husband she was tolerable even with her crazy, narcassitic personality. Once she found out more about me and that the kids enjoyed my company the jealousy and crazy came out in her. She will no longer deal with me with anything. She will get the boys to ask questions so she can get information about me. She manipulates everything even on our time. We are 50/50. The sickness I get is when the kids are brainwashed with bad things about me and their father. She has the kids convinced that I'm not their family and they don't have to listen to me. The kids believe that their father does not pay for anything for them (she gets over $200 a week so the boys can live our livestyle in her home...God forbid she get a real job and stop mooching off the government!). It hurts hearing her words come out of a 9 and 11 year olds mouth. "You and dad have issues!" "You don't pay for anything". "You don't buy me thing". Blah, blah, blah. I guess the 9 and 11 year old forget that their father and I take them places and reward them for their behavior and grades. Mom just buys, buys, buys instead of teaching responsiblity and respect! In her eyes and the boys we will always be the bad parents. That is the manipulation of narcassitic mother can do. She feels she does nothing wrong with the brainwashing and we are to blame for everything.

How I overcome the sickiness is I feel sorry for her. It must suck looking in the mirrow everyday and seeing a crazy person. They will NEVER have peace. In order to have peace you have to love yourself. The crazies are so jealous and consumed with hate that they are not capable for feeling. Be thankful you aren't her. Yes you have to deal with her but you don't have to live in the same house. Once again thank God!

kellyb77's picture

Submitted by kellyb77 on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 1:58pm

I'm so glad I found this site and now I know I'm not crazy either!! I won't say the "dreaded name" and if I hear it on a TV show or movie I cringe and turn the channel. It ruins the entire thing and I could not sit and watch!! :sick: I'm so glad I'm not alone!!

I'm not sure this ever gets any better, girls.... DH and I have been together for 7 1/2 yrs. :?