We will be deciding how much to pay towards skids college on our own terms and BM will have nothing to do or say about it. Just the thought of funneling Skids college money through BM makes me want to stab someone with a fork! Haven't really thought about the logistics but I just know it will NOT be through BM.
Sorry I'm sure others will have more helpful comments but, wow, in my world the court enforced nightmare WILL end when these kids turn 18!

If you are from Iowa - support ends at 18 or 19 if completing high school. You only pay what you want or can for college unless it is in the divorce decree that you have to pay for College.

I only wish I was knowledgable enough about child support to help with this one! I know painfully little about child support. I haven't seen DH divorce paperwork, but he tells me that he and BM have a support agreement, not a support order, so it isn't as enforceable? And also because they were divorced in one state, we live in another, her home of record is in a third state, and she is stationed for military duty in yet another state - there is no venue? Anyway, I would love to understand the child support issue, but trying to get more info always ends in such a bitter arguement with me and DH.

Depends on the divorce decree or CO. My SO's child support ends at 18. Does not have anything about college in it. But every state and DC and CO is different.

We have had this dicussion also. Because my daughter is 29 and his kids are 11 and 14. I wanted to know if he was going to pay for their college.

My SO will not be paying. He worked a full time job and payed for his own education. I worked 3 part time jobs and payed for mine.
So we agree they need to be responsible for their college experience.

You need check the CO and DC and your state site to see what is manadatory in your case.
Also have the chat with your DH and make sure you are on the same page.

Yes you can get a Woot! Woot! I am so happy for you! Is this the only one?

What happened to us:

When SD was 15, BM took us back to court to get a more firm commitment on the college issue. It was very vaguely written in the original divorce decree (issued when SD was 2). BM asked judge to order DH to pay for half of SD's college costs and make SD responsible for the other half. Isn't BM awesome?! Judge ordered 1/3 DH, 1/3 BM and 1/3 SD. This is predicated on the fact that SD maintain a GPA sufficient for the school to continue to re-enroll her (something like a 2.0).

DH intended to help pay for college anyway, but it irks him to be obligated and have no say. Without the decree, DH could hold SD's feet to the fire (not that he would, but that's another story) if she spends her time partying and just scrapes by. But now we have to pay pretty much no matter how crappy she does. So we'll see how it all shakes out. SD is now 18 and in college (first semester).

We are not responsible for any college. Pretty standard here in GA. We are lucky in that we have no CS now. We were entitled on this last go round and decided not to pursue in order to move the change in custody of SS faster.

But, there is nothing in there that says DH owes a dime for College. Thankfully because of the horror stories I have seen on here, I am sure SD15 would be a sieve and never actually get a degree...

This is from Legal.com

On the other hand, a third of the states have laws or case law giving courts the power to order divorced parents to pay college expenses. Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Massachusetts, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Utah and Washington all passed laws to allow child support orders to cover at least some higher education.

Iowa's law allows a court to order child support for full-time college students between the ages of 18 and 22. Other states allow child support to cover higher education until the child turns 21.

Hawaii's law is probably the most liberal. It allows support for an adult child as long as the child is a full-time student in a university, college or vocational school. There's no cutoff based on age or time spent in school.

In other states, including Alabama, Mississippi and South Carolina, no law specifically addresses child support for college. Yet, courts in those states can order a divorced parent to pay for his or her child's college education as part of the court's general authority to make child support awards.

We are in NJ, and DH is court ordered to pay both CS and tuition for SD20. In the original divorce decree, it had stated that college tuition would be split between them "but necessarily equally". When SD started college, BM took DH to court to continue the full amount of CS ($250 per week). Instead, the CS was pro-rated for the amount of time SD is home from school. So now DH pays $113 per week, year round. However, since DH makes more than BM, DH was ordered to pay 65% of tuition, and he has no say on where SD goes to college. He used to pay for extras and give SD spending money, but since BM took him to court, he has not paid a penny extra to BM, even though she sends him receipts to show how much she has to spend on SD. Oh well!

I've read that DH may have to pay for SD to go to grad school as well, but there is no mention of grad school in the divorce decree. I've read he can fight that because it is based on the parents' education, but unfortunately both DH and BM have graduate degrees. However, DH was already married to BM when he went to grad school, so maybe since he went part-time and paid his own way through, it won't be required of him to pay her way free and clear. He said if BM tries to make him pay, he will fight it. I hope he does because we have one infant to eventually pay for, and another on the way.