Just feel sad
I really don't know why, but the thought of having to take care of SD21's son fulltime for the next few months just has me sad. Our lives have been centered around SD21's life for over a year now, and I feel like this is just something else where we will have to give up the things we like to do in order to accommodate SD21. Just seems to be a never ending cycle. Her plan is to go down to the city she wants to live in to work a housekeeping job Mon - Fri. I told her my concern is that this leaves her NO time to spend with her son at all. Then she will come back to our house on the weekends and dance at her strip club, from like 8:30pm - 3am. We told her we would give her until the end of Nov to save up the money to get her own place.
I have just been in a funk all week because that means our TV will be on the kids channel 24/7 and will not have ANY alone time since we will be the ones putting him to bed EVERY night.
Last night she didn't come home until 5am (from her stripping job). Her 2 yr old son usually wakes up around 8:30am at the latest, so when he woke, SD21 stayed asleep till around 11am. So in a nutshell a 2 year old was walking around our house totally unsupervised.
Of course she is totally shocked when she wakes up to find that he has pulled out every item in our kitchen cupboards, and has also gone into our bedroom and trashed it, as well as there being food everywhere. Just pisses me off that she can be so damn selfish to just lay there sleeping when she knows her kid is up. What if the kid had gotten into our prescription medicine? What if he had gone outside, since he knows how to unlock the door??? I'm just so tired of our lives revolving around what SD21 wants to do, I feel like I'm going to go back to that mental state of where I don't give a damn about anything and not talk to anybody (including my wife) because I'm so frustrated and feel neglected. I was like this about 6 months ago when things with SD21 just reached a boiling point. I honestly wondered aloud yesterday what have I done in my past to deserve a life like this? What have I done to have such selfish and entitled stepkids in my life, and to have my life be centered around the worst of the bunch? For about 5 mins yesterday I thought about what it would be like to just run away to some place where nobody knows where I am, and I could have a brand new identity and start things over. I love my wife, but a big piece of me is pissed at how she raised her daughters to be this way. Sorry guys, I just needed to vent. 
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Yeah and I know it's not her
Yeah and I know it's not her kids fault that SD21 can't get her shit together, but sometimes I find myself getting frustrated at him too. That's the only thing I feel bad about. He doesn't listen to anybody, anytime you tell him to do something he tells you "NO", and has recently started telling us to "Shut up". Getting him to sit down and not get up from the kitchen table is a chore in itself. It's because mommy is such a "brilliant" parent she just lets him run around all day while she sits her ass on the phone texting her dumb ass friends.
When she leaves him with us fulltime, things are definitely going to change as far as discipline is concerned.
For about 5 mins yesterday I
For about 5 mins yesterday I thought about what it would be like to just run away to some place where nobody knows where I am, and I could have a brand new identity and start things over.
Have you ever watched the show Disappeared on Investigation Discovery channel? I used to catch it from time to time and found myself wondering a couple of times when BMs were starting World War XV and skids were acting like entitled brats what it would be like to just disappear. I hang in there because I love my DH and BS1 to pieces... but there are days when DH's baggage department is bigger than my tolerance department and I just want to run fast and far. Run Forrest! Run!
...and I don't have to put up with even a 10th of what you are dealing with, sorry FStepDad.
but there are days when DH's
but there are days when DH's baggage department is bigger than my tolerance department and I just want to run fast and far.
I feel you on this 100% I do love her though, but damn sometimes the baggage is unbearable.
Well she didn't really move
Well she didn't really move back in because she only "halfway" moved out. This was after I signed the rental agreement for her to pay rent. She disappeared for about 2 weeks, and just started taking more and more of her stuff out the house every few days while we were both at work. My wife asked her one time why half her stuff was gone and SD21 just replied with "I don't know." Because I saw her stuff disappearing from the house, of course I wasn't going to complain and I figured there was no point in asking for rent if she was moving out.
She was going to move to Eugene, OR and stay in government assisted cheap ass housing. (Rent would've been like $50 a month) But she never notified the state she was working part-time so she cannot get any assistance for the next 6 months as a penalty. This includes the $400 a month she was getting in cash assistance. So now if she wants her own place, she will have to save up the money for it like everybody else has to do. She already got accepted at a job cleaning houses in Eugene, OR but she claims there is no one down there now to watch her son while she works. (We figure she got into an argument with her ex's mom)
So her plan is to drive down there to work the housekeeping job during the week (starting next Wednesday), leaving her son with us. During the day she will have to pay one of her cousins $400 a month to watch him since we both work. Then on the weekends drive up here and strip. No, I don't know for a fact that she's ACTUALLY stripping, but I assume she is since she always has a bunch of $1 and $5 bills now, and just bought some new clear high heel shoes. (*rolling eyes*)
I would roll up to the strip club just to make sure she's actually dancing, but it's a small club and there aren't many black guys living in Oregon so I would spotted a mile away.
If she really is working as much as she says she will be, then she should have no problem having her own place by November.
Just curious if she's
Just curious if she's disqualified from day-care assistance...Not to pawn off a problem child on innocent day-care teachers, but maybe you could get him into a quality day-care center with structure and activities. Not saying there's anything wrong with her cousin, but a rambunctious, inquisitive 2 yr old boy (I've had one of my own)would benefit from the structure and activities.
PS Your situation sucks...just throwing in an idea that helped with my 2 yr old (although I did have a full-time non-stripping job).
Oh I completely agree, her
Oh I completely agree, her cousin (Who has a BAD gambling problem, and has sold her prescription pills before to get money) would not be the best person. Normally her sister who runs a daycare would do it, but she already has enough kids to take care of.
Unfortunately due to budget cuts, the state took away some of the subsidized help they give low-income parents for daycare. Yes our situation definitely sucks.
I can't tell you how many
I can't tell you how many times I have fantasized about simply walking out the door and not ever coming back. Poof - disappeared! The thing that sucks is that I have actually done that very thing in the past and I know how awesome it feels. When I was in my teens I simply walked away from a very physically abusive homelife - poof! In my 20's I walked away from a couple bad relationships - poof! But now I have dogs and professional licenses and genuinely love the man I am engaged to. No more poof available for me.