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New to this whole "blog"

cookie-'s picture

Submitted by cookie- on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:21am

So here goes- new to the whole blogging thing. Found this site while searching for somewhere to "vent" about how I get treated sometimes. I think this just might be the site for me! Smile

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wonderwhy's picture

Submitted by wonderwhy on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:27am

Yes, it's very theraputic I love it!!! Has made me realize I am not alone and I am not loosing my mind, this stuff really happens. Welcome!! Smile Smile

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:36am

Welcome. I am one of the few that stay up as I work nights and I'm off tonight. Smile This stuff does happen and the key to it all is that your dh HAS to support you. If he doesn;t you have a problem.

Let us know all about it and what is gong on. We can help you.

cookie-'s picture

Submitted by cookie- on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:46am

Thank you! I am so glad I found this site to help me with some of the feelings I have. My adult stepchildren treat me with no respect what so ever and their father is blind to it period. I don't know how to fix this problem without fighting over his children. He says I am just picking on them but come on they are grown! I have one SD getting married who has let me know clearly that I will not be involved in the wedding planning what so ever- just signing the checks since its traditional the father pays. HELP

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 12:52am

OMG really? Honestly I would want to help with the planning. However I think that you need to sit down with you dh and come up with an amount that you can AFFORD!! Only IF you want to help pay for it other wise I'd be separating our money and he can pay for it!

cookie-'s picture

Submitted by cookie- on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:05am

She seems to think its not my place. I just want to support her and show her that I love her. The money really isn't the issue~ it's the attitude she has. I mean I just want to be involved alittle.

wonderwhy's picture

Submitted by wonderwhy on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:14am

But honestly, if she doesn't want you to help, I wouldn't even force the issue, because no matter what you do or what you provide she is probably not going to use it or accept it (even if its nice), the resentment is there and she is going to resent whatever you do to try and help her. So sad but true.

cookie-'s picture

Submitted by cookie- on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:18am

I know that she doesn't want my help but does that mean I don't even get to "talk" about her wedding? I mean I asked her where she wanted to get married and she flipped out. Should I just never mention the subject again? I mean if I am not allowed to even talk to her about the wedding- if she's going to be that childish then I won't even go. The thought has crossed my mind that it may come down to the fact that she doesn't want me there for some stupid reason. Sad

wonderwhy's picture

Submitted by wonderwhy on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:30am

If she is acting like that...I wouldn't even bother, don't waste your breath on a lost cause.. I am just saying. She is being very childish, and if she has a BM in the picture, it probably has to do with her and pleasing her, not you.

I don't go to anything that has to do with my SD (now 20- can't even tolerate her anymore). I feel so out of place and uncomfortable around her BM's side of the family and BM. I always find something nice for me to go while DH goes to support the little brat. You would probably be miserable by going anyway. Quit trying to please her, please yourself!!! She is not treating you with any kind of respect.

BUT if you can go to her on a one on one calmly, then you should voice your concerns and tell her "you know I would really like to help or do something, even if its a small something." or flat out ask her, do you want me attending your wedding.

Hope it works out for you!

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 8:23am

I would not give any of my time to help an ungrateful child. I would determine a budget or just write a check for a certain amount and give it to them while saying this is the amount you get, no more. Spend it however you want. Walk away....She sounds like a bridezilla that is going to come back for more and more....I hope your DH is backing you up on this and not an open checkbook...