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Very Petty, but WHY EVERY TIME???

helena_brass's picture

Submitted by helena_brass on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 11:55am

Warning: This is really, really petty of me, I know. It just makes my hair stand on end every time.

WHY does BM INSIST on opening my car doors and physically getting the kids out???

When we pull up to drop the kids off we park, FDH gets out and gets FSS4 out of his carseat and pulls the carseat out. Then he gives the carseat to BM and gets their bags out of the trunk.

It really seems like BM races out of the house to the car so that SHE can get FSS out first. It feels like she's looking in the car for something, or trying to prove a point to me. Mind you, I'm sitting in the car. According to FDH, when I'm not there she NEVER does this.

Yesterday, FDH started pulling FSS out before BM got there, so she opened up the other door to get FSD out. FSD is 9 years old. She can open the door by herself. In fact, she seemed to be waiting to get out because she wanted to say something to me, but as soon as BM opened the door FSD hopped out.

Sorry, I know this is stupid stuff that I should just ignore. It's not like it ruins my day, but it does irk me. I guess I just don't understand why she needs to be all up in my car.

Comments

shootingstarz's picture

Submitted by shootingstarz on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 11:59am

I understand this. It only happened once, since I never go with DH to pick up his kids. But the one time I did, she closed the car door behind her kids. And when I got out of the car and saw her fingerprints on the door, it really kinda pissed me off. Just felt like she doesn't need to be touching my car! And instead, washing her dirty hands!

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:06pm

Why do you give her the car seat. My first thought was to get another one at a resale shop so this doesn't have to keep happening. Other thought was to tell her to back away from the vehicle, the kids are fine....Sounds like a control issue...

helena_brass's picture

Submitted by helena_brass on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:41pm

FDH and I talked about this once or twice. BM would probably freak though because she spent quite a bit of FDH'd money on the carseat (it's "super safe") and wouldn't like to see her son sitting in something she'd see as less safe. Furthermore, we only get them EOWE, so it saves us the cost of buying one. He'll grow out of it soon anyway, and then we'd have no use for it. I guess I could use one to sail through the carpool lane... }:)

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:18pm

Yes totally to show control!

I was also thinking that maybe it's so that the skids won't show you affection as they won't have "time" to get out a nice goodbye?

You should just get out of the car too and give them hugs goodbye Smile

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:40pm

DF has had to start parking around the corner and walking to the building when he drops the girls off.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 12:50pm

TOTAL power play! BM likes to come in the house when she drops off or picks up. I have stopped opening the door. I will let SS in or out, and then pull the door as close to me as possible so she can't even see in the front door.

If I were you I would lock the door right as she is trying to open it, and unbuckle my seat belt, turn around in my seat and unbuckle SS myself. LOL, but I am pretty petty myself.

One Life Once Chance's picture

Submitted by One Life Once Chance on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:34pm

It's a total control thing and a very insecure thing for BM to do. Basically she is coming across as "My Kids....I will get them out"

I don't think your petty at all - it's those constant little things that keep adding up with her trying to say to you through actions "these are my kids, with him, I was his first, I will always be in charge - you have nothing to do with this" Pretty much trying to hike her leg to mark territory as someone else said.

Park farther away, or when she comes up, and reaches for the door - hit the lock button and laugh your ass off.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:39pm

FLASHBACK!! ARRGH!! I had totally forgotten that the Behemoth did this to me!! As though a nine year old child can't open his own car door!!! And then she'd reach into MY CAR and into the car seat to scoop out her precious Prince Hygiene. ARRGHH!!

Must.Take.Bleach.Shower!!