A little over a month ago BM was adamant that I was to have nothing to do with her kids. Nada, zilch, zip, zero. SO ignored her dictate and informed her what happened in his house was his call. Not hers.

Flash forward to last night. He got a 'concerned' phone call from her regarding the fskids. Apparently the fskids have been filling BM in on S's parents dying and my becoming a 'mom' overnight. FSS and S bonded easily, fsd and S not so much do to total differences in personalities, hobbies, likes and dislikes. They tolerate each other at this point but I do not see them becoming best of friends. Apparently fskids have informed BM of S calling me Mom, how her room is set up, that I am paying to store her parents furniture and belongings until she is out on her own. Stories have also been told of the hair fiasco (make over night) and my taking S to get her hair done (which looks AMAZING btw, shorter extensions/ braids framing her face. Makes her look more teen less little girl, but IS age appropriate for less than a week away from 14. S loves it.) Mention of my 'handling' S's inheritance money was made, all the fskids know is that I hired someone to handle "all" of it. This part BM was fishing for information on, she got nothing from SO on it.

BM's concerns:

I have no right to require 'that child' to call me Mom. -- Correct, not required at all. It is what the child has chosen to call me. And if S went back to calling me Mama SASX or just SASX today, I would not have a problem with it. I do have a problem with BM assuming I would require a grieving child to call me mom. S literally glows when we go some place and I call her my daughter. According to the counselor she is laying claim to me and wants to hear from me that I as well have laid a familial claim to her. It makes her feel less alone, lets her know she is wanted and not a burden.

That I need to be as involved or MORE involved with BM's kids than I am with my own.
Hold the bus!! Two months ago it was "That old whore better not even be within visual sight of my kids" Now I am supposed to be involved with them more than I am with "my" child?? Never mind that BM's kids HAVE both of their parents and S lost both of hers. Who the F*** is she to say I need to be more involved with her kids than my own.

Another beef was what school S was going to. She got enrolled in a much desired High School in the area. How? I live within its enrollment area. SO and BM both live outside its enrollment area so the fskids would have to go on a waiting list to attend it. BM thinks her kids should have the same ability to go to this school if my kid does and now wants to use my address to register their kids for school so she can get the school changed. SO shot the idea down already, literally as soon as the words left her mouth, but DAMN talk about entitled?!

Her last concern involved S's hair. That I was unfair by taking S to get her hair done and not taking fsd to get her hair done as well. She does not comprehend, fsd is NOT my child. S is. It is my responsibility to ensure that S's hair gets done and is maintained (esp since I have no clue how to do it myself) and it is BM and SO's responsibility for their kids.

SO pointed out to her how all of her concerns diametrically opposed how she felt two months ago and pointed out it seemed she had a case of jealousy for her kids. That she can not have/ want things both ways. Me involved with the kids, but not even allowed to see them per her. Hands off and no parenting of her kids at all, but her allowed to comment on my parenting of the child in my care. The woman can admit she is not making sense in both stances... but that is how she feels.

Ugh.