Ugh, Facebook. I dread the day when my kids are old enough for all that drama.

If her parents don't care, I don't think there is much you can do about it. Time to disengage. kids are such turds sometimes! I have this issue with my niece. I have told my sister time and time again that she is completely inappropriate on FB. My sister does nothing about it. Well, when she ends up pregnant, don't come running to me for help!!

It looks to me like you are custodial?

I'm with Chaos about obtaining proof from your friend...in addition to proof, I would also dig up statistics on young people who get targeted by pedophiles via the internet. Provide proof of her behavior plus statistical information to your DH...if he choses to do nothing with that, then leave it alone.

If god forbid anything happened, you would have done all that you could (personally) to prevent it without overstepping your bounds.

I agree with above. Print what you can and show it to him. If he does nothing you have to let it go. I did with SD15 and inappropriate pictures and language. Now I just see what she does and I cringe...

I have this issue myself. DH and BM totally ignore what SD does on her phone and laptop. I seem to be the only one that thinks kids should be monitored for their own protection and because they are still learning how to be social. "I" want to teach my kids by correcting them now when they are still kids so that they grow up to be mature, well adjusted members of society. Some people just don't care. They set their kids loose with no regard to how they might struggle because of it later.

I would voice my concerns directly to DH. Let him know that you are uncomfortable with her having complete internet freedom. That you know it's not for you to do but you feel someone should be monitoring her online usage. Put it out there that you have concerns that you could be held responsible if something bad were to happen as a result of her not being safe on the internet.

Then step away and ignore it all. As sad as it is you can't force someone to be a good parent.

I also am friends with SD13 on FB. Recently she posted a picture that was quite sexual and hugely disrespecful. I showed it to DH, said you might want to deal with this and then dropped it. While I dont' want to be involved, I also don't want to enable her by ignorning bad behavior when I see it.

My kids have facebooks. They are also mine and dh's friends. We also know their passwords and check daily on their accounts. That was the rule for their use of the computer and being on facebook. I've never had any of them really write anythng inappopriate. I have talked to my dd13 before about making just dumb, dramatic type statements and I have shut her down a few times if I didnt like her statements-she actually does much better now.

I would just tell your dh that most parents do not allow their kids unsupervised access to the world wide web and you are worried about poor sweetums attracting some predators and since she blocked you both you cant even watch out for her anymore.

My Sd14 FB account finally got deleted after she got caught having a sexual conversation with a 17 year old, and after i pointed out that she had 21 year old guy friends she could not possable know.

And hell just for the fun of it, i got on some of her friends pages and told DH I knew where she was and when becasue her friends would post the where abouts on a public page, the friend is 13 and they all lie about their ages....lol he was like how do you know she went swimming the other day??? or walmart the day before???

Disconnect the internet periodically in your home. Take the cable out of the wall or whatever it takes. If you have Wi-Fi, take the aerial off the router. It should just screw off. Then she is without access. When you want access again, screw it back in. And hide the aerial in your purse.

Does she leave her phone charger lying around? "Misplace" it from time to time. Then it reappears somwewhere else about 13-14 hrs later. Either she will think the house is haunted or she will kick herself for leaving her crap lying around.

Another trick will be to trip the overide switch to her room for the electricity. Nothing gets to her room although she will still get circulated stuff like air con.

This is also YOUR home. If she makes threats to anyone or gets caught in some police sting operation for skanky teens it will not be her that faces the wrath of the law. It will be her father and in turn, you because this is your home as well.

You can do whatever you want to the elecricity and internet system into the house. You can turn off the power to her room and limit internet access. If you are savvy enough you could disconnect her from your Lan. Or find a sympathetic friend who knows how to do this.

I would, however, point out to your husband that if she gets into trouble with the police for acting like a skanky brat online and calling random people she has never met then he is on his own. And tell him you are disconnecting the internet as YOU see fit. Or just do it and blame it on the heat.

I would certainly get

The Privacy Policy of FB has a clause for the protection of minors and has automatic security settings for children btwn 13 and 17, filtering out anyone over 18); the Terms state that no one under 13 can use FB (may I add, in the US - for EU countries, other legal age limits are 16 or 18, depending on the country regulation!). I assume that your SD created her account before she was 13 and therefore provided false information as to her age (lied). It is considered an offense to FB Terms of Use if someone lies, bullies or scams others on FB and are grounds for getting the page deleted.

Any criminal behaviour by minors on most social networks, the parents can be made liable for such actions (this is the case, particularly of bullying, threats, engaging with adults or sexual content under age, etc). I would have DH review her account information and if she doesn't want to cooperate, read the policy to see what the process is for deleting a minor's account and apply parental contols on her computer.

This will solve the FB problem but not her behaviour problem which is a different matter

Hope this helps

We went through this with our SD21 , she lost total control using the Internet and as a pathological liar this just fuelled her habit, if you know what I mean.
It starts off innocent, she was like 14 and goofing around on the p.c, which DH had let her have in her room. Skids visited ew so of course, when she went home the p.c stayed and BM only had one old p.c shared between 5 people in the house in a family room, so not private.
DH got SD21 a basic laptop, which started to go home with her. We controlled the wifi, it was turned off at night and sometimes didn't go back on until the following afternoon.
To cut a long story short, I saw SD21, then 16 at the time had left her laptop on, she was living with us at the time, I saw the crazy lies, fake LIVES and the nasty things she wrote about her family ( mainly us, and how she was treated ) I told DH, we monitor what she is doing, things get worse, we punish her, things get worse, we punish her more( again and again) things get worse.......
DH tells her he is going to monitor her online activity , with a tracker thing, She keeps clean for awhile but then goes back to the same old same old !!! I wish we had NEVER given her back any internet or p.c priviledges. That tracker was the best thng we ever did......

No one where I live has ever had a TV in their room until they graduated h/school. Totally unneccessary. Having TV in a kids room doesn't teach them patience or how to share or wait their turn. It has been proven that having a TV in your bedroom can inhibit good sleep patterns. My DD is battling with her 4 yr old who has a TV in her room at her dad's place and none at DD's place.

Computers in your room? Only in your senior year of highschool. No kid needs that much privacy. If it is schoolwork it can be done at the kitchen table or family area.

We had the exact same issue with SD18 when she was younger and lived with us. I was the one monitoring her computer usage, because I'm the one with more knowledge about these things. Since I'm watching, and she knows I'm the one, whenever she gets caught doing something wrong, she's pissed off at me. Eventually I had to tell her Dad that if he wanted to monitor her usage, that he'd have to do it himself. He's the parent, and if he doesn't care enough to do something about it, why should I? She eventually ditched us and went to her mother's fulltime... where there are no rules and supervision.

DHs stupid kid used to do this too...I told him and told him some more...I even printed stuff out for him...he did NOTHING...cause anytime he'd call idiot or her pathetic mother, they would tell him off and well, there you go...so, now I am the one laughing when he's embarrassed to have a pathetic, loser, slutty 16yr old with a 10month old baby in 9th grade...all I can say is "I TOLD YOU SO!" }:)

I went through similar with SD15 (she started at 14).

SO would say stop cussing online. And then never follow up. Her mother as far as I know didn't say anything. I finally gave up. She was posting pics of her cleavage, acting all innocent about it. She was making dirty comments and jokes. Oh and the chat sessions we found, wow she spoke like a 21 year old sailor. It disgusted me. I took her off my news feed so I wouldn't see things. SD was friends with my mom and my best friend, THEY started telling me what was on her page. I had to tell them to stop. If parents didn't care, there was nothing I could do.

FINALLY, little miss got F's (while I was disengaged) and had to tell her dad she was failing school. He took her cell and deleted FB. That's all she did FB and text.

After some counseling SO did finally say something to her about her account that she no longer had and her behavior on it. She didn't like being called out, but she's since straightened up.

In other words, without backup you have nothing.

Leave it alone. Don't look at her page. If your DH is going to turn a blind eye then he will deal with the consequences. Be sure to say I told you so when it happens.