I jinxed myself
Last night and this morning I was thinking to myself that we hadn't heard from BM yet this week. Which worried me a little since (for those of you that don't read all my posts) the last time she dropped them off she left a 'love' note for BF asking for a truce and telling him what a good father he was, which angered me when she referred to US as "You and whoever you are with". And she also told us that we were using the notebook wrong - we were writing in it like a journal. So when we returned the boys on Monday (she was nice enough to let us keep them an extra night and take them in the 4th parade). The note book had 3 small entries - one about a scraped knee, one about a party SS6 was invited to but couldn't attend and one thanking her for letting us keep them, as apposed to the usual 2 or 3 pages about all the stuff the boys did and a few comments about BF's feeling. We also returned the 'Love' letter and didn't say anything about it.
So I thought she may have been beyond angry at us or she thought everything was okay again (she really is that clueless). Honestly I would rather her be angry. 
But I am thinking it was the later. Because she called BF this morning to tell him... and this is her version (will give me 2 cents later)
She said that she was getting ready this am and told SS4 that they needed to hurry up and go becuase they were running late. Well she was in the bathroom and said that when she walked out she couldn't find SS4. So she asked SS6 where he was and he said that he went out side. BM claims that she found Ss4 outside in the van waiting for her. BF asked her why she wasn't watching him. She said she was getting ready and the door was locked, so he must have unlocked it. She added that she was going to go get this things that make noise when you open the door so he can't get out with out her knowing any more.
My 2 cents - though I am some what proud if the story is true that SS4 did it all by himself, something that I push for all the time at our house, but BM prefers to carry/cater to him. But I think BM is full of s***. First if the main door was open, leaving just the screen door, I do think he could unlock that and get out, but with kids in the house not being watched the main door should have been shut and locked. I know SS4 can't open my car door (yet) but I make him try, he can climb in and seat himself, but I doubt that he opened the door to a mini van. I don't think that SS4 did anything wrong - BM said that they needed to go, so he went. it's her fault for not watching him.
Now having said that BF and I are going to have a talk tonight. I want to know why the hell she called him to tell him THAT? What does that have to do with us? It's her problem, SS4 does not and has not escaped from our house. Plus why would you admit that? SS4 was fine, nothing happened to him so why freakin call, put it in her stupid notebook if she thought it was worth menchening. I guess BF needs to explain to her WHEN she should call him and about WHAT. Emergencies - hell yeah ( and call when they happen). When decisions need to be made about health and education - yeah (call after work would be nice). other than that I feel like it could wait until the drop off or be put in the notebook.
it bothers me becuase I think (pretty sure to be exact) that like all the other BM's out there BM still has 'feelings' for BF and just calls to talk to him becuase she misses him - then she shouldn't have divorced him! IMO. But she did (2 years ago) and now she needs to get over it and focus on her wedding in September (starting to feel sorry for that guy). BF has already said that he does not want to talk to her unless it's about the kids, so now it's about the boys but it's stupid stuff. The week before she txt him and called about the potty chair that she got and SS4 really likes, so we should get one just like it (again catering to him). Before that she txt becuase she let SS4 dress himself. I get that those are his kids and he loves them, but he HATES her so why does she keep talking to him about stuff that does not matter and then the stuff that matters she hardly brings up. BF has even told her that she does not like her - what does it take to make her understand that? and yes I know the answer to most of this little rant is she will never change. I can dream though.
And I get that she is Mom. Even in the parade I was nice enough to left SS4 up when we passed her so that she could take his picture (ss6 was already at the window) - of course that means that I was in the background of all her pictures.
But there is not law that says I have to like her.
Am I wrong to be annoyed?
- SisterNeko's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I want to know why the hell
I want to know why the hell she called him to tell him THAT?
Exactly what I was thinking before you said it. Your BM is a control freek, the dumb ass "notebook" is proof positive of this. She wants her cake and eat it too, she divorced your DH, but she still wants that power to be able to call him whenever she pleases, to write him stupid notes whenever she pleases... all for the kids of course. GAG!
And she has your DH by the balls because Gawd forbid, he tell her that he doesn't need to hear about such ridiculous things pertaining to SS, he will be a bad father who doesn't care about his boys, blah blah blah. This is one of the things that pisses me off to no end about these particular BMs, they weild their children as a sword of control over their exes. They will never understand the meaning of "Ex"
I told BF that he and I were
I told BF that he and I were going to have a talk tonight. Honestly I am starting to realize that BM does not understand subtle signs. I know BF ignores her txt - doesn't respond to them - and on the phone he is often short with her and acts uninterested, but I think he may need to take a more direct approach to displaying his feelings toward her. While I don't want to encourage my boyfriend to be an ass but sometimes it's needed. Like today I would have ask BM why she called (at work no less) to tell me that and maybe tossed in that she just made herself sound like an idiot for not watching THEIR child. Just something to make the conversation as awkward/ for her as it is for him. So then maybe she won't call for stupid stuff any more.
I am going to tell him that if does not start trying to make BM understand that some of the things she does are inappropriate/rude/uncalled for. That I will start doing it for him.
I have no problem doing it, which is why BM pretends that I don't exist any more. I called her out on the stupid txt's she was sending me once and she hasn't sent me one since.
When I told him we were going to talk about it I told him that I was getting tired of dating BM's door mat, when he said that he was not her doormat, I sent him the dictionary.com definition of a door mat.
Oh yeah he's a door mat. He'll pick a fight with any one and get so mad at things - accept when it comes to her. I just want some equality.
door·mat
–noun
1. a mat, usually placed before a door or other entrance, for people arriving to wipe their shoes on before entering.
2. a person who is the habitual object of abuse or humiliation by another.
She sounds sooo much like
She sounds sooo much like SS12 BM... DH will give her curt yes/no answers, tell her he has to go when she starts rambling about stupid crap, actually get downright nasty with her and she is just too dumb to get it, or just doesn't care. She has gotten somewhat better or maybe it's just better now that SS12 is older and has his own phone, DH can just deal with him directly most of the time. It's like she can't stand it though and has to at least once a week find some nonsensical reason to call (about SS of course)