Okay, this is probably reeeaaaalllly stupid that I am hemming and hawing over this, but if it is, so be it. I don't know what to do.

Here's the deal: I am BM of a five year old girl. Her Dad and I share 50/50 every other week custody and placement. Last week my DD's SM had a baby. We arranged for DD to stay at her Dad's an extra day or two so that DD could see the new baby. She was really excited about it.

So, I picked her up and on Tuesday she was in the living room working on an art project, coloring and cutting with her kid scissors. I was in the kitchen cleaning up. I peeked around the corner to check on her and caught her in the act of hacking off a big chunk of her hair! I said "Oh my God, what are you doing??" Her hair is really long and she had been wanting to grow it out. The chunk of hair she cut off extends into the back of her head, so there's really no way (that I can tell) that we can get away with just blending it into her length. A hairdresser may say differently, though. Anyway, DD at first told me her hair was itching her neck. Then she said she wanted it short so it would curl like mine. Then she said she wanted it short so she would be cute like a baby. I don't know which one of these is the real story, as I can't totally fathom what goes on in a 5 year old's head.

Now, I am the one who takes care of the haircuts, trims, etc. However, I have never done anything majorly drastic with her hair. Even though I am the BM, I still appreciate the fact that DD's stepmom has to deal with DD's hair when she's at their place.

I haven't told her Dad that she cut her own hair yet. I haven't had it fixed yet, either. I am dragging my feet for a few reasons. The first being that I don't want to call and bug them with something that they may think is trivial, as SM just had a baby and I'm sure she's busy and tired. DD's Dad took the week off from work to be with his wife and new baby so he's probably tired too. The second reason for the delay is because I don't just want to do a drastic chop to DD's hair without first telling them about it, when they haven't seen it yet. The third reason is that, since DD said she wanted it short "to be cute like a baby," I think that the chopping of her hair may be related to feelings of anxiety that she won't get as much attention from her Dad and SM now that the new baby is here. This is their second child together, and my DD was jealous when the first baby arrived a couple years back. The problem is when I told her Dad about it he got really offended? I don't know if it was my presentation, or if he misinterpreted what I said, but he was under the impression that I was saying he wouldn't love DD as much as the new baby. Bear in mind that my ex and I had always had communication problems even when we were together. I never experienced anything quite like it with anyone else. lol

So, what do I do here? Do I call him and tell him about, and risk him getting annoyed that I am bugging them right now about something that's probably not a big deal? Do I simply get DD's hair cut? Do I wait and let DD and SM do it? Do I tell him why I suspect she did it? I know kids do get scissor happy, almost everyone's kid that I know has done it at one point.

GAH! My head is going round and round here. I may be making a mountain out of a molehill but I just want to make sure that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes. I want to keep the peace that we have now.

Any and all advice is appreciated! Thanks in advance!