This is my first time posting on this site and with everything going on i need to both vent and get advice.

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We love each other very much. The issues are with BM and SD5 and SS7.

Issues with BM- shes a bitch. plain and simple. she has done so many things to make my boyfriends (and in turn making my life) a living breathing hell, financially and emotionally. She has done things with money that has ultimatly made him have to declare bankruptcy. Child support has not been talked about yet...but i am most certainly waiting for it. She dosnt let him pay for anything. SS7, told BF that his BM boyfriend is buying him underwear (creepy) and its the fact of why couldnt she tell BF if SS7 or SD5 needs something? He wants to but she just dosnt give him a chance. She did not list him as a contact for school, so he could not be informed of anything going on with the kids school activities (this has since been changed). BM has spread rumors and lies about both BF(boyfriend) and I. During drop off she will send dirty clothes out with them and tell BF that she has neither the time nor money to do their wash then turns around the next week and is taking kids on expensive activities (concerts etc). Why cant she just say "can you wash these for me" it wouldnt be a big deal. She has sent them out dirty (has gotten better recently) but continues to just crumple their clothes in a suitcase and send them out. I cant even tell if their clothes are clean, and most of the time the clothes that are sent out are too small. Over time she has had the kids come out less and less, its down to every other weekend when it used to be everyother weekend and 2-3 days during the week. I see that the time they are not seeing their father is hurting both him and kids. There is more i just dont feel like thinking of everything because its too upsetting but this long paragraph is just a taste. I just dont understand why she wants to cut father out of kids lives. Children need their dad, at least i believe they do.

Now onto the kids. I want to start by saying even though they annoy me I do want them to come out more so that they can have a healthy relationship with their father.

They are pretty good kids and pretty normal in a lot of ways, they dont really listen until what your saying has been said 3 to 6 times. However, some things concern me and some things just down right annoy the shit out of me.

SD5 wines constantly over nothing all the time. "eeennnnnggggggghhhhh" thats the only way to describe the sound via typing. its just everytime something that she dosnt like happens. forgetting a little piece of chalk at the playground, leaving in 15 minutes instead of right now, not being allowed to spit on my floor or in my car (extremly angry over spitting). She tries to tell me what to do "drive faster". Shes an annoying little piss pot and then will turn around and want to wear my expensive perfume and makeup. Last time they came to visit she called BF by step fathers name twice. I felt so bad for him. Anytime its nice outside and we are doing something she wants to go in and watch TV. If there is something or somewhere i want to go she dosnt want to. She will go two hours of being a great kid and then two hours of acting like a brat all day everyday without fail.

SS7 hes actually pretty good. he gets hyper but thats kids. Dont get me wrong he has his moments but not as often as SD.

Things that they do together that I am unsure of. they have done a few questionable acts but the most shocking happened the other day when I cought both of them in bathroom together with their pants down. I felt uncomfortable and didnt know what to think of it...it didnt seem right. Told BF, wish i had advice for him but i didnt, just said it was uncomfortable for me. Sometimes it seems too touchy feely between them.

They share a room at their mothers, and IDK how kosher that is. I know the mothers boyfriend bathes them, i dont like the idea of a guy not related bathing SD5. BF dosnt like it either BM has no respect of BF wishes.

I just dont know what to think sometimes and need to vent. Its stressful, it really is. I dated a man with two kids boy and girl before this and never had any of these issues. I dont get it. I dont know how to lay out the ground rules for them when they are here. And I feel guilty because i dont know how to have a good relationship with them. I am not their mother nor do i want to be i just want them to associate our house as a fun place to be without spitting on my floor and being disrespectful annoying little brats!