Father's day - is it wrong?
I have a question about Father's Day gift giving and step children. BM claims (and I intend to check one day when I am bored and have nothing better to do but read over their divorce) that the divorce says they HAVE to get each other gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, Father's day, Birthday's and Xmas. I think it's stupid and I plan to get BF something from ME and the boys, even though BM already gave him a gift 'from the boys'. So my question is would I be crossing a line there? I know the kids will tell her that I got him something and I just want to be ready for when she flips out. (which is does a lot) but I am also getting BF something for father's day from our 'fur children' just becuase it's only fair and I think it will be cute. 
Plus she got me something (offensive and stupid) for Mother's day but BF and I refuse to get her man anything for Father's day. She can get him something but we are not. Is that wrong too? If so is I told BF we can give her man the same thing she got me for mother's day. A framed pic of her and the kids - so for him it would be BF and the kids.
Lastly, BM bought BF a pair of work boots for father's day. The box had a sticker on it for almost $200 bucks but I hate to tell her if that is what she paid, then she over paid. (but the price sticker doesn't look legit) BF got them out and tried them on and one boot is smaller than the other (even though they say they are the same size) and they are really UGLY. Being the honest person that I am I told him that even with SS6 in the room becuase i know he didn't pick them out for his dad. Then I asked SS6 what he thought and he said they were ugly but he likes them. (such a people pleaser that one is) BM txt'ed later to say that they were on file at the store if he needed a bigger size. BF doesn't like them at all you could tell so I told him to take them back and at least get a pair that fits with two shoes that are the same size. But if he doesn't like they way they look as much as I do (and is had nothing to do with who got them for him she got him that last pair and I like those, they are a different style) then he should try to exchange them for a style that he likes.
I am sure she will be mad when she finds out that BF didn't like them and plans to exchange them (SS6 tells her everything) but work boots seems like a dumb thing to get someone you don't know very well but she is like that. Though our gift giving days are OVER she had gotten me some pretty ugly stuff too.
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I am not offended, you are
I am not offended, you are right I do need to pick my battles. My mouth and my honesty being my biggest issues - especially as of late for some reason. I think BM and SS6 are just pushing all my buttons right now. I get so frustrated am afraid to bite my tongue for fear I might bite it off - lol. I have gotten a tad better at pausing before I answer, it's when people press me for an answer that I have issues. I just can't stand lying but I know the correct answer (when his kids are around) would be 'I'll tell you later'.
SS6 pushes too now though which I don't like, but what can you do. This am he was going on and on about what he has at his mom's. I finally said that I didn't care what he had at his mom's and to please stop talking about it, which lead to "Why?" "Don't worry about it just go play" "but, Why?" grrrr..... (I walked away)
But I am gonna give him my 'gift' becuase it's a minor thing. It's a photo album. I love taking pictures and I quickly filled BF's old one and he has been meaning to get a new one. I had to stop getting stuff printed becuase it was stacking up so I got it all printed and put together for him. And it's not just pictures of the kids, it us and our families too. But sadly I should have gotten 2 or a bigger one this one it nearly full.
It drives me NUTTY when BM
It drives me NUTTY when BM buys stuff for DH for Fathers Day. NUTTY. We don't buy for her for Mothers Day, what would posses her to do so for Fathers Day? And I seriously DOUBT that is written in to their divorce paperwork.
But if it is going to start WWIII then it probably isn't worth the battle. I say exchange them quietly, as to not let SS on and try to keep the peace.
Pick your battles. I think
Pick your battles. I think it's probably BS about having to get gifts for the ex per the court order. However, wether the idiot got him the gift or not, it's irrelevant and this point. Wether he likes them or not, it is irrelevant. Manners say that when someone gets us a gift, we are to graciously accept it...and that applies even more when the gift is "from our children". I doubt the BM just gave your BF the gift...his kids probably did. For him to exchange them for something HE likes to me is a slap in the face to his children and a lack of tact. What is proper and correct is for him to keep the darn boots, wear them a few times and shove them in the closet. The kids will only know he wore them and won't care after a while...but it is very impolite to return a gift and get something YOU like...the purpose of a gift is not to get what WE want...otherwise, buy yourself your own gift...it is, even with the crazy ex because of his kids, to show someone cares...and in this case, again, it comes from the kids...he should NOT be teaching his kids to be ungrateful when they receive a gift.
sigh...sorry for the rant...
Actually that was the funny
Actually that was the funny part (I was out side watering my flowers when BM showed up, I didn't leave like I usually do). BM yelled at SS6 to "Give this to your father" when SS6 was running off like he usually does when she drops them off, so SS6 came back, took it from her turned around tossed it at BF and then ran into the house. The kids were uninterested in the whole 'gift exchange' - they are a little young yet for it I think (6 and 4). Even when BF was trying them on in the house the kids were off playing. Which not to defend myself but SS6 was not in the room when we started talking about the boots, he came in as I said that and then quickly left again. On Mother's day SS6 blurted out what the gift was the minute he walked in the door and then ask BM what she had for him. (it was around his birthday)
We can't keep the boots as they are - they hurt BF's feet. They need to at least be exchanged for the correct size (a matching size). Style aside. Honestly it doesn't matter what they look like BF works with truck and heavy equipment and they are gonna get dirty and tore up. I would say keep them (even though they are ugly) if they had actually fit.
and for the record the kids are already ungrateful - their mother has taught them well, though I don't help :). She may not return gifts but she re-gifts. I got a few items out of 'mommy's gift box' which I did keep (until we had a yard sale). And when I surprised SS6 with a rare toy (a gift for no reason), he told me that he needed 4 more and I should order them tonight. Which it hurt my feelings so at that point my understood how he may have felt about my comment if I thought he had actually thought about it, but he was too worried about the mysterious box on the table at the time.
Our kids are all adults now
Our kids are all adults now but when they were younger I always bought something form their dad from our kids. Thye went and picked it out and wrapped it but paid. My name wasn't on the card. It was from the kids.
For mothers day he did the same.
When dh and I got together, mothers day came, I asked if I should het something for jeer, and dh flipped out like I was crazy. Why the fuck would he get her... Lah lah. Blah... You'd think I suggested flying her to an island vaca and not just a pic frame.
The dif in the way our kids were raised is why my kids are the ones to send cards and notes to my parents and dhs parents. They call to say hi and check in. They make sure to come visit when grandparents are in town. I hear so many times how special my kids are and I'm very proud. Dhs kids have never even acknowledged my parents or spoken to them. My in laws get my kids gifts for birthdays and holidays. My mom refuses to spend a penny on dhs kids who never acknowledge her.
Our kids are all adults now
Our kids are all adults now but when they were younger I always bought something form their dad from our kids. Thye went and picked it out and wrapped it but paid. My name wasn't on the card. It was from the kids.
For mothers day he did the same.
When dh and I got together, mothers day came, I asked if I should het something for jeer, and dh flipped out like I was crazy. Why the fuck would he get her... Lah lah. Blah... You'd think I suggested flying her to an island vaca and not just a pic frame.
The dif in the way our kids were raised is why my kids are the ones to send cards and notes to my parents and dhs parents. They call to say hi and check in. They make sure to come visit when grandparents are in town. I hear so many times how special my kids are and I'm very proud. Dhs kids have never even acknowledged my parents or spoken to them. My in laws get my kids gifts for birthdays and holidays. My mom refuses to spend a penny on dhs kids who never acknowledge her.