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FB dilema, among other things.....

stepmom31's picture

Submitted by stepmom31 on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 4:56pm

I feel like strangling my husband. Not because of anything he did per se, but because he's the reason I have so little control over certain aspects of my life.

Update:
BM has a new bf who apparently has moved in with her. Good timing for her, since she no longer has a job. Said bf has taken a keen interest in SS11, and does a lot of stuff with him. However, boyfriend (and BM) totally ignore SD13, and she gets sent to her room to watch TV etc.

At the same time, DH and his sister arranged to get SD braces for he 13th birthday. SD is esctatic about this. DH's sister also asks to spend more time with her, and is involving her in some dance stuff which SD is really enjoying. So, all of a sudden, SD13 is tremendously glad to be with us and out of her mother's house.

The skids are on summer vacation and BM had to go out of town, so they are with us. BM said we'd have them for a week, but calls while boarding her plane to let DH know it's going to be 2 weeks instead of 1.

I have a newborn baby and I'm recovering from a C-section. DH is home for this first week that the skids are here, but back to work the 2nd week.

I'm frustrated with the skids being here, because it seems like DH has no time for me. Now I know he's right to spend quality time with them, but I just imagine how it might be if they didn't exist...

And lastly, SD13 just posted pics of herself and my and DH's 2 yr old. She is blocked from my FB, but DH is her friend. I feel terrible. I don't want her to have the control of posting pics of my kid. I dunno what to do... I saw it because I have access to DH's FB account. Also, DH is trying to quit smoking and I don't want to stress him out because stress triggers the cravings.

Comments

neveragain's picture

Submitted by neveragain on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:47pm

I agree with StepAside. Just tell her you don't want her posting pictures of the baby. I don't think 13 is even technically old enough to have a fb page. Teenagers are notoriously indescrete about what they post on fb!

RB's picture

Submitted by RB on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 7:39pm

Wait until they get older. My SD's post photos of my kids without asking me as they are adults and don't care how I feel about it.

MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 8:20pm

I cant help but ask...why cant this child post pictures of herself and her new baby sibling? This is her sibling right? Don't you show off pictures of your child? I have just as many pics of my sisters on my FB as I do our daughters. They are my family...and they are beautiful. I dont see the problem.

As for BM extending her time from one week to two at the last minute like that....very selfish of her. I would be upset but not at the kids...not there fault. Your DH perhaps could take the burden of some of that frustration he's a big boy...he should be able to take it. Chances are two weeks with his kids is going to make him smoke anyway if he is inclined to do so. You stuffing all of your frustration down and then blowing up will certainly make it happen....so might as well save yourself and say what needs to be said.

Since your recovering your SKIDS are old enough to help you....have your DH instruct them on what they can do to alleviate your responsibility load while you recover. They can help in alot of ways..chores around the house, the baby, etc. No need to turn them into slaves...lol...but since they are going to be there and your recovering no reason they cant help appropriately.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 8:40pm

I got a little freaked out by the new bf having a LOT of interest in SS. What kind of man pays a lot of attention to another mans son straight off the bat? Sounds like something your DH MAY want to keep an eye on. Or maybe ex is trying to create some drama.

Ok, so the bitch dumped her kids with you for a couple of weeks. Well you have onsite assistants esp when DH returns to work. They can do carrying and lifting for you and in return they can earn trips to the movies with their father etc.

If SD wants to post pictures she can cut and paste from just about anything. So maybe tell her how dangerous posting pictures can be. Show her how easy it is to take any picture and post it onto your website and pretend to be anyone you want.
Also if she loves her half sister so much does she want some pervert to take her sisters picture and use it for something horrendous? Make her accountable for her actions in a kind way.

And use the unpaid help for all it is worth!

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 9:30pm

This is great advice!
It is kinda creepy for a grown man to spend that much time with a boy who hes just started living with-tho I think id be more creeped out if BM BFs attention was on the girl...
I def agree to giving the SD a serious lecture on posting pictures online. If she is being ignored at home, facebook will become her outlet for attention-and then your one pic away from a cleavage shot of a preteen. Its important for her to understand the implications of posting willy-nilly. I had to talk with my stepsisters about this- because I too didnt want my babys pics all out there for anyone to get. A private setting can be added to all online photos if its one she really likes. It could be a good time to bond with her through your new child- girls typically are more open when theres a newborn around.
And def use this teenage strength to help you with every little lifting, etc you have to do.
Teach these kids show household skills- maybe by the end of the week theyll be able to make you all dinner!

superSM's picture

Submitted by superSM on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 10:17pm

BM should think better when it comes to move in with new BoyF so soon, there are many psychopath.
DH Should have a very long talk to SD about social networks and all the danger that it come with. Also about how is very rude to post thing that are not hers to publish with out permission of the other face on her pics(your permission) = DH kids,DH responsibility
You have you own to take care of. Is good that you help ur husband with his.. But they have their mother that's the one that should be doing the job. Specially in this time that you just went trough (c section) and DH should talk to them that now that they are there, they better help you out some!!!

A lots of luck to you!!!

Sterling's picture

Submitted by Sterling on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 11:54pm

It's totally understandable to feel overwelmed for the next two weeks with more people in the house. It's so nice to have peace and quiet for you and your new baby. I like the idea for your DH to keep them busy that week, out of the house. Don't worry about keeping up the house, just make sure you have peace and quiet and get them out for the day. I think it will make you feel better.