I have been with my BF for almost three yrs. He was still married but seperated when we met. So, yes I was the other woman. Eventually the ex moved back to her home state. The first yr was great and things went so smoothly with the exchanging of P ( the kiddo). BF and Ex would talk about always keeping a good and open relationship when it came to P but, we all know that,it doesn't really work that way. So come last February we got a knock on the front door and my bf was served papers. His ex wanted primary custody. (Now a little history the Ex moved back to Ohio and was going to look after her ill mother.)My BF was sending her money every month even though he didnt have to and paying the car payments on her car even though they hadnt gone to court yet for the divorce. We had been flying the P back in forth from Ohio to Colorado every 4 weeks and at the time he was only 2 and ahalf. We always paid for the travel and every night we would do phone calls with the other parent. Then one time we sent him back to her she kept him from us for 3 months. At this time we were fighting for jurisdiction. She was saying P was a Ohio resident while we said he was born in colorado and spent pretty much his whole life here so he was a Colorado resident.We had to hire a Ohio Attorney and a Colorado one. My BF flew out to try and get him but she wouldn't answer the door. My BF took his brother and father with him and they saw P look out the window while my BF was knocking on the door. The cops were involved and she wouldn't even open the door for them at first. Needless to say my BF didn't get to see his son that weekend. She then turned around and cut off phone contact for over a week and didn't even had P call on Fathers day. We eventually won jurisdiction and wasted almost a yr and tons of money on that. So battle began for primary custody and we are still battling this as we speak. We invested in therapy for P because we thought it was best and he has a lot of anger and needs a neutral party. We informed the EX that she can call and talk to P therapist and check on his progress anytime. Its been two yrs and she hasn't called once. In fact she said he is a well adjusted kid and doesn't need therapy. Kids go through this all the time and are fine is what she says. I strongly disagree and I am sure many of you do as well. She has a completely different approach to raising P then we do. He gains an unhealthy amount of weight when he is with the BM and this last time he gained 10lbs in 5 weeks. He came home and had nothing to wear. She stuffed him back into the clothes he came in that were now 3 sizes to small. She wants to be his best friend not his mother. She is now living with her BF and his kid and P tells us he sleeps on the couch. He doesn't have to wash his hair cause he doesn't want to the same with brushing teeth..P. She doesn't play with him and I know this because he tells me things. I have been more of a mother to him then his own mother. I am frustrated because I have always wanted to be a mom but it feels like some moms really shouldn't be moms. P is almost 5 and July 20th is when we go to trial. I am pretty sure I jumped around and I am sorry.. Its late and I guess thats just the start of it.