BM and last name...
I did not take my husbands name when we married. For many reasons. I already had a hypenated last name from my late husband. I wanted to keep that since I use my maiden name professionally and my son has the other last name. Well along comes this marriage and my husband would have liked me to take his name. But, there were already two women in this town with his last name and I wasn't going to drop any of my names to be a third one.
I do use his last name to do things like make reservations at the gym for the membership and the kennel and other stuff like that. Everytime, I try and use it they ask me if I am BM's First name. Ugh!!! It happened again today when trying to make a reservation for the dogs at the kennel.
I mention it to DH and he is confused since she has remarried and uses her new last name on all the legal documents that she sued us with and that the kennel is a relatively new business. Why is she back to using that last name again....She has been married for two years now? I told him, that someday when my son was out of the house, I could see using his name when it wouldn't be such an issue, but not as long as she was using it. His mom thankfully, has now moved out of the town so it is not an issue there anymore.
They asked if I was calling to discuss her reservation next month. I should have said yes and go ahead and cancel it.... 
But, I am too damn nice...It would have been funny to see her try and get a kennel during the summer around here without a reservation....
I don't think DH will be bringing up my last name again for awhile since it keeps happening so much...I have switched pharmacies, had long conversations at schools that those are not my children....switched handyman when I realized that he also did work for her...Why can't she just move?
Last week I was walking the dogs and she passes me and I actually flipped her off. I am sure she didn't see me, but it did feel good. I can't even walk the dogs without seeing her. Please note, I would never have flipped her off had I not know that my DH had SS12 at Karate and I know she never spends anytime with SD15 so she wouldn't be in the car....
Petty I know and I did tell DH, and his answer is she is oblivious to everything, I am sure she doesn't even see you. This happens on almost every walk I talk if I go that direction. I have been trying to go different directions, but sometimes I want to do an easy walk and this path is. If she would just move a mile away it would be great. Does she really have to live in the subdivision across from us? Who does that?
I keep saying 6 more years and SS12 is gone and we can move......
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Sounds like evil lurks nearby
Sounds like evil lurks nearby huh? That must drive you nuts always running into her AND being mistaken for her at the establishments you mentioned. Thankfully, our BM moved 40 miles away a couple of years ago so there is no chance of running into her. She still uses DH's last name even though she has remarried. The reason is to have the same name as SS. Whatever... I took my DH's last name and there's no mixing up the two of us because we move in different circles and I don't sleep all day or wear pajama like attire when leaving the house, LOL!
You have no idea. DH thinks
You have no idea. DH thinks I am paranoid about it. But, it is a daily occurence. She either sends an email about a problem with SS or we get papers from the lawyer or a bill. Or I see her on the cart path or someone asks me if I am SD15 SM. It is something every day. I work from home and my exposure to the outside world is limited and it still happens. I understand it at the gym when I don't have my card, since I am an add-on to DH membership and they were married for a long time. But, we have been together for 5 years. I just don't understand why all the vendors still have to be the same. I swear that she must hear from the SK's that we use this person or that business so she does.
If I didn't know better I would feel stalked. Her and DH can not communicate on the phone anymore or in person since the last two blow ups.
She is the worst mother and has caused my husband so much heartache when she sued for full custody of SD15. I just want her to move to the other side of town. They can still go to the same school and ride a bus if she just moves a couple of miles away....
Last week at a soccer game, I had to tell a mom who was sure my husband gave SD15 away because BM told her so, that he didn't that BM caused this mess and allowed the manipulation of SD and that my husband has been devastated by it. I went home so angry and it ruined my day. I should be able to go to a soccer game for my son and not get confronted by meddling Soccer moms....
I work from home too with
I work from home too with limited exposure, as you put it, to the outside world. I cannot imagine having BM so close with your limited movements. Our BM, when she lived closer, saw nothing wrong with dropping by unannounced especially when she couldn't be bothered to spend the entire pre-arranged time with SS (weekend or overnight). In fact, in her screwed up mind, she thought the house was still hers, even though as part of the divorce, DH had to re-finance and pay out her portion of the equity AND she signed a Quit Claim Deed thus removing her from the deed. So she was pissed off when we notified the guard gate that she did not live here anymore and they disabled the barcode on her car ending her free access to our community. It took us years, her moving 40 miles away, getting re-married and inheriting a psycho-bitch ex-wife of her own along with 3 skids, for her to finally learn about boundaries.
Sorry about the situation you had to deal with at soccer. That's just ridiculous!
My DH and his ex (BM to SD5)
My DH and his ex (BM to SD5) werent even married but they lived together for 6 years and when I take our vehicle to the shop and they ask for the name I tell them...and they STILL pull up the records for all of BM's previous vehicles. I say no no those are not my husbands records those are his ex GF's. It happens every time.
Also unfortunatley BM and I resemeble each other. Same build, skin tone, light hair, blue eyes so when I am with SD out in public and someone sees us a few ppl that are aquaintances of BM refer to me as her and then realize I am not her. THAT is uncomfortable and I have good relationship with her. It makes me wonder when ppl see me with DH if some just assume I am her and they are still together after all these years. :sick:
Yes - it happens at the
Yes - it happens at the mechanics as well. Because I use DH's shop and I am sure she still uses the one from when she was married. I forgot about that one.....Ugh!! Only reason that it is linked to his last name is he had taken my car in for me one time...
I am not married to my SO,
I am not married to my SO, but he knows I will not take his last name. His ex has totally tarnished the name all over our small town. I don't want that association, and even though it doesn't sound like she has been screwing over the local population like in my situation...I don't think you're crazy for not wanting to change your name.
That's really weird about the new kennel. I could almost understand if it were an older established place- mistakes like that happen all the time. I don't have the same last name as my kids, so from time to time I'm being called Mrs. ExHlastname. Much of the time it's too much trouble to correct them, plus I have one of those long last names that people always want repeated or spelled. But in her case it sounds like she made the conscious choice to use that name.
"Who does that?" as far as living in the subdivision across from you? Me. I was stupid enough to get into a live-in relationship with a man whose ex-wife lives 4 houses down from mine. It sounded cool for the kids to be able to come over any old time, but it also means she can see what we are doing any old time. She's not as stealthy as she thinks with her "spying". And so I also walk my dogs in the opposite direction and turn back rather than go around the block passing her house and risk having to talk to her.
Good luck with your 6 years. We can't afford to move and both SO and I have come out of our past with crappy credit, so I doubt we could get a mortgage anyway. And BM has made it clear her dead body will pretty much need to be pried out of the house she is in. I don't really have any advice, but I do know how it feels to be trapped.
4 houses away, I would
4 houses away,
I would have never moved in here...At least it is the next subdivision away for us...Our credit is good so we could move, but the kids love the house and want to stay. Their best friends live in the neighborhood. We actually have two houses in this town that we rent out and they are in the area as well.
I think the kennel is wierd especially since they got a new puppy a few months ago, why put that name down. DH thinks her marriage is on the rocks and that might be why. I told him than you can expect me to never use your last name again for anything....
Our BM drops off the kids sometimes at the house, but I started watching out my window and that seems to have stopped her lately. I don't even want her setting foot on the property....She creates so much drama in our lives and completely neglects SS12 that I just want to shake her...
I hate having the same last
I hate having the same last name as BM. She won't change it because she wants people to know she is mom and not me. It's irritating!!
>>I keep saying 6 more years
>>I keep saying 6 more years and SS12 is gone and we can move.<<.....
OMG this is what I say... my SS is 12 too, sometimes I don't know if I can wait 6 years though...ugh!
I didn't take my husbands
I didn't take my husbands last name,, I'm proud of my maiden name and thats who I am... I had my first husbands last name for 13 years, then went back to my maiden name,, I hardley EVER use my(now) husbands last name for anything,, I'll sign it on a wedding card or something like that, but otherwise I use MY name all the time, orginally "she" kept his last name and it pissed me off because they were divorced with no children, got back together, got pregnant,(didn't re-marry) still had his name and kept it until she got re-married,, so piss on it,, i kept my maiden name,, been married for 5 years now and still haven't changed it...
I will never change my last
I will never change my last name. There is only ONE Mrs. GG "Green" and that's the BEHEMOTH.
He proposed to her, he got down on one knee, gave her the ring, made children with her, firmly entrenched himself in her family (at the expense of his own), etc, etc.
She is remarried but used GG's last AND FIRST name right up to the day the wedding ring went on her finger.
She addressed all her correspondence as:
Mrs. GG Green (Green being fictious last name for GG)
Said it would "confuse" the children if she went back to her maiden name.
Well maybe it would have confused them as they are about as bright as an abyss.
Funny my bios were never confused and I was married twice; both with name changes.
I refuse to fully change my
I refuse to fully change my last name because of BM. I hyphenated it, and tend to only use my maiden name when I can. I regret hyphenating it even. I HATE it that there is another woman out there that has the same name as DH because of him. SD is grown up; why can't she go back to her maiden name? So as long as she has his name, I won't. Plus she has the same first initial! When I was pregnant, DH brought up a bunch of times that I promised to change my name to his when we had children, but I just dragged my feet saying how much of a pain it is to change names, which is true. Now BS is here, and DH hasn't mentioned it. Last time he did, I dragged it out and said that I'll be sure to change it once he's ready to go to school...that just bought me a few years!