Does SO back you when disciplining SS2? That is the PIVOTAL question here. If no, get out now. If yes and he's willing to bear his fair share of load, then it could work.

It sucks because you want to say something, but then after a while he will get annoyed at you judging his parenting. Then there is the issue of whether he has skid all the time or some of the time. If feels like an uphill battle. You are so young, and so is he. At your age, I was no where near wanting to deal with children. I'm sorry you have such an emotionally difficult situation. You want him, he's wonderful, his baggage sucks.

How long have you been in this relationship?

I'm afraid stress is inevitable and what you're going through is completely normal. I went through the same emotions once my fiance got full custody of his daughter who is now 3. She's no terror but I did really begin to question if I was ready for all this. In the end I realized that I adore my fiance and his daughter is a part of him so how could I not love her too? Figure out first of all if this relationship is worth it to you and then take the steps necessary to make it happen. The only thing I can tell you that might help is that you are in a good position to change the bad behavior since your SS is so young. The first thing needed is for you and your SO to sit down and discuss your role in SS's life and also the rules of the house. Just because he is young does not mean he can't grasp right from wrong if you take the time to teach him. You also need to discuss forms of punishment such as time outs and that sort of thing for when rules are not being followed. Hitting, kicking, pinching, and all other similar behaviors should immediately warrant a time out because it's unacceptable behavior. Success is only achieved if you are both on the same page, support one another, and have a plan set in place for parenting. Being a SM is not easy, in fact you usually end up doing all the things a bio parent should but get far less recognition for it. I can tell you that it does become worth it in the end though. The first time my SD3 called me mommy I just about melted into the carpet. I adore her even though there are times when I can't stand to be in the same room as her. Understand that you are allowed to get annoyed, upset, and angry at times because kids will inevitably test boundaries and push your buttons. At the end of the day though, all they really want is to feel loved. Try planning some activities with you and SS2 so that you guys can bond. Even simple things like reading a book, playing, cuddling on the couch to watch a movie, singing him a song before bed, going to the park... They all make a big difference. My SD3 is definitely daddy's little girl and she often will do little things to get in between he and I when she's feeling a bit left out, but she still tells me she loves me and always asks where I am when I'm not around. She even will run to me instead of her dad when she's hurt herself so she knows I am there for her and will comfort her. It's not going to be easy, I promise you that but nothing worthwhile in life ever is.

you're 20??? and you think he's worth it??

i'm not discounting your feelings due to your age, however, having been that age, i would bet that what is worth it now, won't be worth it in 2, 5, 10 years.

cut your losses, have tons of fun while you're still so young and find a partner with OUT baggage. you are wasting your time with this guy, you're 20, it's only been a year and you have problems already, you're searching on line for a step support group??? that should be a big RED flag.

Whats going to happen when you turn 21 and want to go party with your friends while your man is home with the kid? Is he going to let you? Or is he going to get mad and say you need to stay home with the "family" ? I am sorry to say, but I started dating my fiance when I was 21, he was 25 with a 2 1/2 year old. It was a tough road there at the beginning. Me being a young girl with no kids, him with his responsibilities of his daughter. I have grown up and my priorities have changed and we have found more common ground, but it doesn't get much easier. You have to learn to live with it, or leave...sooner than later. Honestly if I could go back in time, as much as I LOVE my fiance, I may not take the path I did. And if for any reason I become single in my future, I definitely would NOT date a man with a child. Between guilty parenting, the CRAZY/SELFISH birth mom, and an awkward/overly attached kid...it definitely feels like too much sometimes. My man is a wonderful father and I admire him for that, and I know he will be a wonderful father to a child we have together. But that doesn't mean there still aren't days I have my doubts........Good Luck! Your own intuition is usually right..

Whats going to happen when you turn 21 and want to go party with your friends while your man is home with the kid? Is he going to let you? Or is he going to get mad and say you need to stay home with the "family" ? I am sorry to say, but I started dating my fiance when I was 21, he was 25 with a 2 1/2 year old. It was a tough road there at the beginning. Me being a young girl with no kids, him with his responsibilities of his daughter. I have grown up and my priorities have changed and we have found more common ground, but it doesn't get much easier. You have to learn to live with it, or leave...sooner than later. Honestly if I could go back in time, as much as I LOVE my fiance, I may not take the path I did. And if for any reason I become single in my future, I definitely would NOT date a man with a child. Between guilty parenting, the CRAZY/SELFISH birth mom, and an awkward/overly attached kid...it definitely feels like too much sometimes. My man is a wonderful father and I admire him for that, and I know he will be a wonderful father to a child we have together. But that doesn't mean there still aren't days I have my doubts........Good Luck! Your own intuition is usually right..

STBS, i'm sure you didn't mean to double post, but i'm glad you did. this girl has to GTFO of this relationship.

If he's 22 with a 2 year old, he was the same age as you when he became a "babydaddy". Where is BM? Just because she's not in the picture now, doesn't mean she won't show up later! She was probably too young to be a parent, too! You, my dear, aren't much older than a babysitter! Think this through before you jump into anything permanent. The only person you are hurting here is YOU.