This moron will be my skids SF someday
Last night DH tells me that BM's " fiance" (They have been together for 5 years engaged for 4 & will not get married for at least 9 more years ) had sent SS13 a picture of Tweety Bird smoking a joint to his phone. WTF is wrong with this idiot. We have never been really impressed with him before but this kind of clinches it. I asked Dh what he was going to do, he had SS erase it & explained why it was inappropriate. He is not going to say anything to BM about it. He figures she would just tell SS not to share things with Dh rather than admitting that he great catch is an idiot. A couple of weeks ago DH had to go to her because " fiance" 's 10 year old niece kept texting & calling SS 13 because her 10 year old friend had the hots for SS13.What is wrong with these morons?
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His mom pays for the phone,
His mom pays for the phone, we see the kids daily so we are more of a 60/40 situation in reality but it is still just joint legal & she has primary physical. Mom is a bit of a controlling supermom type. We have a good relationship but only because we play nice.
BM is a descent individual with a very good job but has surrounded herself with some less than stellar buddies since the divorce. Her BFF is a twice convicted felon, who when DH confronted her about that it caused a HUGE blow out. The loser fiance, He used to be a programer like her but lost his job, was unemployed for a year & a half. Rather than looking seriously for work or go back to school to learn a new programming language he would drive down ( lives over an hour away) lay on her couch play video games & watch TV. He now makes plastic pots for plants as a temp to hire worker for the last 2 years. He has had opportunities for permanant position but is holding out for a management position.
Oh & my favorite comment BM
Oh & my favorite comment BM has ever made was that fiance & I are equals. He does nothing for the kids pays nothing for them & couldn't even show up for SS10's first communion a couple years ago, around the time this comment was made to my husband not to me. IMO the only thing equal about us is that he does the kids mom & I do their dad
Snickers, I don't think that
Snickers, I don't think that FSF is a pot head, but to be honest I don't know. I do know he likes to drink & go to bars, but that doesn't mean that he smokes weed. I do know he is not very ambitious, infact BM has bitched to DH that he doesn't make a lot of money with his assembly line gig. That was a wierd moment for DH.
IMO BM could do better than this guy, but she knew him from before her & DH were married & she has never dated anyone else. I think she was afraid to have to enter the dating world again & settled.
"dont bitch about it, if
"dont bitch about it, if you're not going to do anything to change it"
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I like that phrase.
Your SS seeing his father sweeping it under the rug & ignoring that it happened sends a poor message to his son. Ignoring things doesn't make them stop or go away. The picture is innappropriate for a 13 yo's cell phone. His son needs to understand that. The fact that it's a grown man sending it to his phone is even moreso. His son, BM, & her fiance all need to know that. Not to mention, this adult is an active part of your SS's life. He's a crappy example for your SS. Why on Earth would your husband minimize something like that?
First off I do think Dh
First off I do think Dh should talk to BM about this, but given past experiences he is afraid to go there. And it is certainly not mine.
Spunki, As to the prancing on my husbands arm comment, WTF. I am involved daily with the kids, most events I go to because I love them and support them. I sure the heck don't do it to make my presence known. I actually skipped the spring concert last night infact. I actually have a good working relationship with BM. Infact we usually all sit together at the kids stuff & my 3 1/2 year old loves her & thinks she is part of his family.
BM made the equals comment a few years ago & yes it did piss me off and it still is annoying because I make the sacrifices daily for the kids ( I sold my beautiful home & moved, I do a huge commute, I have made hug financial sacrifices all for the kids to be involved with us daily). My reward is that I have kids who love me.
That is too bad for your
That is too bad for your children that there dad isn't more involved in their lives. You seem like you are trying to argue with me and I am not sure why. I have never judged your situation. That is not the case in my skids life, their father, while he has room to improve in the husband department, is a good father & is as involved as much as he possibly can be. As we all know many men have a problem with rocking the boat with BM's that have the upper hand of the physical custody.
I will encourage him again to bring it up with BM, but she like most of us do not take well to the heads will roll tactics & inorder to get peaceful resolve with need to be done tactfully.
BTW, I have been at this going on 6 years & considering the kids & I love each other & that their mom & I can sit side by side at things and visit nicely I know any disfunction isn't because of my doing.
I agree with this. ^^^ While
I agree with this. ^^^
While it may be keeping the peace between the adults, ignoring the issue is just letting it grow & continue.
You obviously feel it's an issue because you blogged about the guy being a moron for sending it. I'm not questioning your statement. The guy sounds like an idiot for doing what he did. I'm saying that if your husband doesn't address it with BM & idiot (or at least BM) for fear of rocking the boat, he's choosing his comfort over the well-being of his kid. Then, the guy who sent the picture isn't the only idiot.
I really hope you printed
I really hope you printed that off with the guys phone number attatched before you deleted it. If you didnt, do it next time!!! Geez what a creep.