Treating ME like a child?
Hey everyone, not sure if this is "normal". Obviously... this is not normal... but for step-mothers.. maybe?
First of all, my husband doesnt really discipline his daugther or give her rules. BUT.. one of the issues we have had with his daugther is the fact taht she is ALWAYS on her phone/ipod/or gaming system when we go out to dinner. THE WHOLE TIME. She will ignore us.. He doesnt even tell her to get off her phone????
So I got all of us tickets to a basketball game. I took SD, my husband, my toddler aged daugther and myself. After the game (which my husband showed no affection towards me, cause his daughter is there), we went out to dinner. At dinner my daugther was not feeling well, started getting a temp, so i let her sit on my lap. I then went to text my friend on the phone. My husband said "Dont use your phone at the table, that's rude. Try setting an example for the kids".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He doesn't DARE say these things to HIS daugther, but he was disrespecting ME in front of the kids. Now,.. of course my daughter doesnt understand a thing, and she was basically sleeping on me at this point. But his Daughter just kind of glared at me. HOW DARE HIM DISRESPECT ME AND TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD.
I am at a loss for words. I told him "I am an adult". I got up from the table (since we were finished eating dinner) and I didnt want to fight in the restaurant. I said I was going to get fresh air. He said.. "well maybe SD and I will go on a walk, i the opposite direction". WTF!!!!
WE didnt speak the way home.
The next morning.. I was going to the gym, my daughter was in the car.. i forgot my sweater so ran inside. I talked to my husband for a minute and his daughter was outside our door in teh hallway. He said "You dont love me or SD, you only love your daughter, You will never accept or love SD or me". I EVEN TOLD HIM HIS DAUGHTER COULD HEAR HIM.. but he kept getting louder and wouldnt stop.
Is he manipulating his 12yr old daughter against me? What the heck is GOING ON?
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it really is amazing. I am a
it really is amazing. I am a grown woman, and my husband is trying to parent me? It's a slap in the face.. and to do it in FRONT of the children is pathetic. How low does he need to go?
I wont tolerate this. I have one child.. I didnt get married 7 months ago to gain 2 more.. his child and himself. He is the biggest baby of them all. At the end of the day I have realized its not his childs fault,.. because that is what he has accepted as appropriate behavior. He has raised her to be the way she is. Now he is trying to discipline me?
I have paid my dues, I am a grown woman. I told him that the weekends he has his daugther, I wont be around the house. He can spend quality time wiht her. Better him than me. Enjoy!
I just hope he wakes up. We have been going to counseling and its not working. I'm going to my session tomorrow without him. I need to figure things out. Life is too short!
"Adult Spousal Status"..
"Adult Spousal Status".. couldnt have said it better. EXACTLY!!! I would NEVER do that to him..
I go through the same thing
I go through the same thing with my husband he never discipline his daughter adn then trys to get after me about the things I tell him he needs to get on his daughter about. I have to explain to him all the time that I am an adult and can do what I want when I want and as a child she needs to do the things that are asked of her. Like for instance i will tell her that her room needs to be cleaned and he will tell me if front of her why does her room need to be cleaned when ours isnt. Well when she works a full time job goes to school full time and has a house and kids of her own she can do what she wants. I have the same issue and I wish i had better advice to give you. I also notice my husbands attitude towards me when my SD is around is a bit colder than it is when she is not around and I have never been able to figure out why its like that you know. All I can say is good luck and if you ever need to talk feel free to write any time
well, in my husbands eyes.. I
well, in my husbands eyes.. I AM THE ONE WITH THE BIGGEST ISSUES. He thinks its 10% his daughter, 10% him and the rest is ME! Of course.. cause I see all the crap that is going on.. that ISNT NORMAL. I feel like it's a lost case. I dont know what to do. I am going to counseling today to talk it through.. He makes me feel like I am the one going crazy. Like I'm the one with all the issues.
This is so true. It's like..
This is so true. It's like.. I see it coming.. the big train wreck with his daughter.. and he is just SO BLIND!!!
I went to counseling today. I think after 7 months of marriage, he is not going to change. The counselor asked if I would attend some parenting classes with him. maybe if he hears it from someone else.. then he wouldnt be so defensive.
And yes.. he has already said he is in the middle. POOR BABY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! He has created this!!!! Im so done. It's just a matter of time now. So sad.. 7 months of marriage, i feel like a failure. but I will not let them ruin my life!!! HE IS LETTING HER RUN HIS LIFE.. not mine.