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O/T where is everyone?

bruisedpeach's picture

Submitted by bruisedpeach on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 3:54am

Just thought i would ask to find out where you all are abouts?

I am Canadian but live in the UK, have done for the last 7 years almost. My SO is british, we have been together for nearly 3 years now. Let me just say I am jealous of the US/CA law regarding custody etc; the courts here are a bitch.
We desperately want to emigrate back to Canada in the next few years but the SD situation is a toughie. SS9 and SD3 will be fine but its SS11 we are the most concerned about.

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bruisedpeach's picture

Submitted by bruisedpeach on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 7:57am

Its not so much that its awful, but everyone dances around PAS and it isnt recognised as abuse, which it most certainly is.

our BM has the skids call her bf Dad, but we see them eow and have oldest once sometimes twice a week. I could understand if he was absent but hello!!! anyway that pretty much sums her up.
she is an only child of an only child, with 7 uncles, so always got her way and was a little princess. you cant even imagine the entitlement this 40 year old woman feels.
never worked, drinks, smokes drugs, me me me i i i.
but of course her kids are her world and she is mum of the year.
Anway we want to emigrate back to Canada as we think at least we have a shot at improving our lives and quality of living then hopefully that will rub off on the kids later on in life and thye will have somewhere cool to visit during summer hols etc...but the oldest has just been diagnosed with auspergers and really we think its best he comes to us as the PWC. but she wont lose her newly increased benefits with a SEN child so we think it might never happen.

bruisedpeach's picture

Submitted by bruisedpeach on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:37am

we are considering telling her to keep it, and keep the csa payment the same, which has stayed the same since the skids didnt stay overnight but now come over the threshold, oldest over the second threshold.
we can struggle with an extra cost, we would make it work. he needs routine and he needs stability and she flails around as if 19.

MaGoose2010's picture

Submitted by MaGoose2010 on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 5:33am

South Africa - 4 years of Skid hell & 9 years in previous marriage.

In SA you only need to be a prostitute to lose your kids, but the family court considers a sibling relationship between predator & victim very important to maintain!! (DD11 was sexually abused by her half brother of 16 when she was 5)

majka's picture

Submitted by majka on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:51am

Me too! I actually LOVE ohio, but I found out yesturday that I will be moving soon to Nebraska! Intersting move, so we shall see how things go.

bruisedpeach's picture

Submitted by bruisedpeach on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:39am

Crayon

my so is exactly like that. and you know what is even more sad? I pay the entire mortgage on a house still owned by him and his exwife. my dad would whoop my ass if he found out.

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:44am

I'm in IL, we're done with CS but we have to pay alimony until August.Then were done with the blood money going to see you next tuesday.

alittleaggravated's picture

Submitted by alittleaggravated on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:55am

I'm about an hour outside of NYC...SS16 and SD12....and of course my DD12....some days, like today, I want to walk away! But I won't, I married for keeps, for better or worse....who knew worse was most of the time

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:13am

In Pennsylvania - Have SD14 (in 2 weeks - getting closer to college Smile Smile Smile Smile ) BD11, BS9, BS4. and alittleaggravated......... You got it - who knew it would be worse all the time; just when I feel like I'm in hell - I go a little deeper!!

secondplace's picture

Submitted by secondplace on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:47am

Southwestern Ontario here - 2 1/2 years of current stepmother experience, plus 9 more years from another "job"

on the fence's picture

Submitted by on the fence on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:47am

Oregon

CowGirl's picture

Submitted by CowGirl on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:50am

Oregon

Freedom2005's picture

Submitted by Freedom2005 on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:52am

Kentucky here, but only for the last 2 years... before that.... Indiana and Illinois!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 11:09am

I am in Texas. I was born in CA, grew up internationally, went to HS in CO and MO, college in MO and AZ and TX and have lived and worked in CA, TX, PA, DE and NJ and worked internationally in Taiwan, Korea, Germany, Belgium, China and Qatar.

I have been dad to my SS-18 since he was 1yo. My incredible wife and I will have our 17th anniversary this year.

My wife is from the Peoples Communist Republic of Oregon and so are SS's BioDad and SpermClan. You definitely don't want to be a fairly successful high wage earner involved in a Custody/Visitation/Support case in OR. The Communist Commissars on the family law bench in OR start salivating when someone who makes a decent living ends up in their courts. They will take your money even when the law is clear that they should not.

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 2:07pm

In Ontario - Canada (Southern Ontario) and BM is insane and has custody of SD9..the laws here are not much better..sad but true...

I believe that a sick, manipulative women lands a good guy and has a child with him and then leaves him she's Won the Lottery for Life as she knows she will get full custody plus child support plus a lump sum to pay her out for spousal or he has to pay spousal support until she moves in with someone else or remarries... my husband is a cash cow to his exwife and that Witch is the worst kind of women I've ever had the displeasure of meeting..she is not a mother in any way shape or form and she is milking my husband for everything..not to mention she had an affair that ended the marriage and she took his rights away as a father....just unbelievable how the system works...

By the way she is on government assistance..ok ok...let's call it welfare because she is too lazy to work..so her and her bf live off what my husband pays in child support..my SD is dressed like a bumm and is not well taken care of until she is with us...

sorry to rant but it really makes me mad to see this kind of injustice.....

Z