SS's Wii

Yeah, before DH and I were married, SS saved up enough money and dad allowed him to to buy himself a Wii. I guess as a single dad, you don't foresee the problems this would cause.

So, fast forward... we married and now we have Wii Fit FOR THE FAMILY, Net Flix streaming FOR THE FAMILY and my BS has also gotten various Wii games as well.

SS got Let's Dance for Christmas and BM wanted to see him 'dance' so she asked if he could bring the Wii with him on his EOW visit last weekend. We don't have cable and therefore get no reception otherwise for regular tv so all we have is the NetFlix to watch tv. Dad let him take the Wii to his moms (although he said it would be the last time). So, we had no NetFlix and BS couldn't play his games. We had to spend more money and actually rent a couple movies. ok, fine.

When SS gets mad at BS, he tells him he can't play HIS Wii. He's been warned about this before. This morning he pulled that crap. Dad is not there in the mornings. BS did something that 'bothered' him so in retaliation, when BS went to go play a game in the few minutes they have after getting ready for school, SS said he couldn't play. BS then retaliated and went and hid SS's iPod. BS put the iPod back and SS played HIS Wii. They've both been warned about this retaliation thing. BS new what he did was wrong. That's why he put the iPod back. I made him appologize. I told SS he is grounded from Wii tomorrow. Next time, it will be a week!

I told him I don't care who paid for the game, it's OUR house and he will never ever ever again tell someone they can't play his Wii.

I texted DH and told him we need a Wii because I was tired of an 11 year old dictating who and when can play the Wii when we ALL have dependencies on it.

Was this wrong?

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Comments

I think you should disconnect

I think you should disconnect the wii, I also think you shouldn't be buying other kids presents(games) for the SS's wii. I was a child of 5 and we had these "shared" gifts and I never got to use them, but hey whatever, but if the wii was paid for by the SS with his own money it shouldn't be turned into a "family" item. I think if you want a family wii you should buy one. That being said I agree with you over the retaliation behavior the kids are doing. I wouldn't put up with it, but I do see why SS is resentful if his item he saved for and paid for is being given to everyone.

Oh and I don't think you

Oh and I don't think you husband did anything wrong being single and letting his child save money to buy something. Letting kids save for what they want is actually a responsible thing to do. What your husband did wrong was allow his son's item he saved for become a family item. I rarely side on the side of skids since most of them are uber spoiled and coodled but in this case I think your skid has every right to feel resentful. He's a kid, not an adult, and when he bought the wii I'm sure he didn't think it'd become a family possession, had he known that he probably would have bought something else. And to add the sharing on top of it you added even more fuel to the fire by buying your son a game to play on SS's wii. Not a good way to blend a family or try to get kids to bond. The only way I can figure to fix this is to buy another wii for the family use and let your SS have his wii in his room or give SS the money it'd cost to buy a wii and then it's truly the families and SS isn't out the money.

Yep, get a wii; take his out

Yep, get a wii; take his out and put it in his room or somewhere else. I think it is a bit rude not to share though - I mean we buy things for our kids but they still have to share to a point.

This goes beyond "Sharing",

This goes beyond "Sharing", SS doesn't get the option to share or not and its SS's Wii. She needs to stop being so cheap and either buy another wii for the family or give SS the money for it if she only wants one in the house. This wii has become the families primary form of entertainment so it's no longer about sharing. And while it's nice to expect kids to share it's easier said then done, even in bio families. Add a step and its a recipe for disaster. I think both kids acted wrong but it seems to me that her son does no wrong and she's finding reasons to not like the skid. the skid saved for his wii and its his. Her son shouldn't be given games as gifts to be played on Stepsons wii, doing that takes ss's ability to not share once in awhile if he wants to play his own game out of his hands and basically lets her bio control the game the ss paid for.

Sorry, but I don't think it's

Sorry, but I don't think it's fair to force your SS to share. It would be great if he would. But it's his toy. He bought it. Why would your BS get Wii games when he doesn't have a Wii?

We have three XBoxes, two Wiis, and a SonyPlaystation in our house. My two older boys have XBoxes and we have a family XBox. My oldest daughter has a Wii, and we have a Wii in the family room. And our youngest has a SonyPlaystation. Sometimes they share and sometimes they don't.

I do make it pretty clear that you cannot expect someone to share with you if you never share with him. And most of the time, they play together. The XBox in the family room gets the most playtime.

It is his wii. Buy another

It is his wii. Buy another one for the house if needed. Easy way to fix that problem.

We have separate Xboxes for the kids and a Wii in my office. It is not cool anymore so I use it for streaming Netflix. The only fighting we had recently was controllers. Apparently one had lost his and was stealing the other kids. He got in trouble and now they are all marked. My BS had saved money for three controllers for when his friends are over. SS had one and he lost it. It was found after a lot of drama with him and his Dad. Clearly now DH is aware of SS doing this and it won't happen again. But, it is always something, we just try to eliminate ways to prevent it if we can. FYI - Both boys got their Xboxes from gift money from Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles.

OMG...The damn controllers.

OMG...The damn controllers. Mine are constantly convinced that someone "steals" their controllers. Especially the XBox ones. And don't even get me started on the damn batteries. They will actually take the batteries out of each other's controllers.

Little jerks!

I agree with the others, if

I agree with the others, if SS used his own money to buy the Wii, then it is HIS. While it would certainly be nice if he shared, I don't think he should be punished for not sharing. I can tell you that I was the same exact way when I was that age. I swear to gawd, we were going through some stuff at my mom's a while back including some board games and the ones that were "mine" said "property of Daizy, keep your hand off, this means you!" I went from being an only child to having 2 step siblings and I absolutely did not want to have to share MY stuff.

the good news is, I grew out of that and hopefully your SS will too, but in the mean time buy a "family wii"

Thanks for the comments and

Thanks for the comments and advice! I will definately get another 'Family' Wii. I do agree we made a bad choice more or less 'taking' it from SS and making it a family thing. I see that wasn't right now.

But, it may create another issue... BS and SS share a room. There is already a tv in there which they can watch movies only on. It's only a 19" or 20" tv and the one they've been playing on in the living room is 35" I think. When we get the Family Wii, BS will be able to play on that but SS will have to play on the little tv (if he doesn't want to share!). Dad won't like that. We do have another tv in the family room which is also 35" but the only problem with that is the Family room and Living room are very close together so having sound on both would be a problem.

Grr... I guess I will talk to DH about a solution on the 'where' but definately another Wii is in order and then SS can get HIS Wii back.

the only way to be fair is to

the only way to be fair is to put both on the big tv's. And your ss is still being slighted even without the tv screen size. Why should he have had to pay for his wii and possibly have to play it on a smaller screen while your son is basically being given a wii and allowed the big tv? The way I'd fix this is to have only one Wii in the house. I'd pay SS for his wii so he's not out the money and I'd make them learn to share even if it means making a schedule of who plays it when and if you do that the wii doesn't travel to anyones house

Ss isnt being slighted if he

Ss isnt being slighted if he gets to play his wii anytime all by himself and gets to dictate who touches it. BS only can use wii in the family room shared by all family members which it sounds as if ss may also benefit from the family wii to if he will be watching the netflix out there. life is not fair all the time-the family should be able to buy another wii if they choose not have to be dictated by what ss brought into the blended family. I agree with the others that it was a mistake to treat his item as community property and that's where you got into trouble, but you can certainly choose to buy yourself another if you like. It's kind of ridiculous to say that noone else in the family can now purchase a wii because ss did so first.

While life isn't always fair,

While life isn't always fair, I can say in a step family you should do all you can to try to be fair. SS in this case saved his money and bought himself something, should he share probably but he didn't want to and that's ok. Alot of us complain about how lazy and or entitled our skids are this is not the case here. He saved his money and bought something that was essentially taken from him. I know its hard to blend a family and some families have things others don't to bring to the table, but this kid bought this it was never a family purchase and should have never been treated as such. Now when she buys her son a wii I think she should let SS know he is still entitled to use it since this one is for the "family" and if he doesn't want to share he should use his. That being said since SS paid for his game system and her son is basically getting one for free she should offer to buy SS an additional game or something to make up for this because if she doesn't she's basically sending the message her son means more and she's discouraging ss to ever save and buy anything again which is the responsible way to buy things. I was a skid once. I remember having to work for items, babysit lawn care etc. and having my step brothers be handed things, it made me and my real brothers feel less than and while life isn't always fair you shouldn't be sending messages to your skids that they are less than your bios if you can help it added: and you should never buy games or accessories for one kids item for the other kid. bio or step that is just wrong and lets the kid know his item really his at all

Why would ss get equal time

Why would ss get equal time on the "family" wii? He has his own and that BENEFIT comes with him being able to use his OWN wii! IF he got to use the family wii then there would be no need for him to have his own. Sure if he wants to watch tv he can through the family wii but other than that why else would he have the need to use the "family" wii?

As I said my ss15 has an ebox he bought and my dh has one too and my ss15 does not use the other xbox no need for it. Ss15 just uses his own and it never occurred to him to use anyone elses b/c he has HIS OWN! Just really confused why he would have a need to use 2 wii's :?

but still ss will get a say

but still ss will get a say in who gets to touch HIS wii and play HIS wii. Why is it a big deal to have him play it on the small tv? It is a good trade off! I mean yes the other one will be on the big tv however it is SHARED! Ss's wii is not shared! It is a good trade off. I don't think ss would have a problem since he gets to play HIS wii and only him.

you know as I said my ss has

you know as I said my ss has his own xbox he bought. He never even asked if he could hook it up to the big tv. He just put it in his room and never thought another thing about it. He plays it in there while the others play the otehr xbox in the living room and he never said a word. I also never told him he had to keep it in his room he just did.

There is nothing wrong with letting him use it in his room. I'm sure that given the choice he would rather be in his room so he won't get disturbed anyway. I really think there is too much thought going into this. it is a game system jeez.

Op why don't you just get another wii and hook it up to the big tv and see what ss does. I don't think he will get bent about it since he will still have his own and has a tv to play it. good grief since when have we thought it was a good idea to bend over backwards to make a thing like a game system to this to our house hold?

I think that when you do this you will find that he isn't going to care b/c he will still get to use his wii and no one else will touch it but him. He will still want to watch movies and tv and that is ok. But why should we make huge deal out of this???

Agreed. The 'Family' game

Agreed. The 'Family' game system would be shared by BS, SS, dad and SM but if SS doesn't want to play what somewhat else wants to play or play alone, then he would be relegated to his own Wii in another room by himself.

If we get the 'Family' Wii and BS wants to play Wii, but SS doesn't want to play with him and dad and I want to, say, watch NetFlix, that's when BS would get the short end of the stick. I'm ok with this. As parents, we stil decide when the kids get to play their games, regardless of where the game resides or whether they paid for it or not, right? Someday, maybe BS will get some gaming system that SS doesn't have and vice versa. We rarely use the tv so BS will have plenty of play time.

As for the tv size. You're right A.D. If my BS had always got to play on the big tv and then I said he had to go play on a little tv because of SS, I'd be none too happy. However, we have 2 big tvs about the same size. One in the family room and one in the living room. We can just put his Wii on the other big tv instead of the little one in their bedroom... then it should be equal.

Did ss buy the big tv too?

Did ss buy the big tv too? If he did not then he has no "right" to play his game system on the big tv. If he doesnt want to share his game system, why would the op share her big tv? The wii in the family room is NOT going to be the bs's wii-its going to be the family wii-to watch movies on, play wii fit on, whatever. Meaning bs can't just play it whenever he chooses, right? So why should ss be "compensated" with extra games or whatnot-because the family is buying something that he happens to have already? Doesnt make sense. I think all agreed that it was a mistake to treat his wii as community property, but that's done now and the op is trying to correct it buy putting it in his room for his sole use-I think that's all that needs to be done.

I'm going to agree with the

I'm going to agree with the others and suggest you buy the family a Wii and put his in another room.

I'm of the opinion that game consoles should not belong to a specific child, because of the issues it can create. I think it's wrong to gift one to a child rather than "the family" and I'd discourage a child from purchasing one of his own. If he does purchase one of his own, then it belongs in his room, not a family room. That's how I did it with my sons. Skids, however have their own, and it makes me crazy. Too much fighting, or older kids stealing/selling, or wanting to take the things to BM's (it's not my job to provide entertainment in her home).

Thanks for the comments and

++++++++++++++++++++++++
And that is what this site is all about. This is so awesome!! Nice lovely debate and no hurt feelings and a good result to boot. Good luck. stepping is hard, hard, hard.

I tell my kids in issues like

I tell my kids in issues like this, if you want to be stingy with YOUR stuff then we'll be stingy with OUR stuff. or just pay the kid back by putting the money into a college or savings fund and take the darn wii from him and make it a family item. no matter how big a fit he throws

just because it's his doesn't mean HE can dictate who when and where with it (he is not an adult-you dad and bm are), for starter's it wouldn't have gone over to bm's house period.....things like that are asking for more problems....kids these days have too many devices and use "i bought it" tatic, the first time one of my kids or skids tell me that, i'll turn the tables fast...ok I BOUGHT your clothes, so i guess i'll take every last piece of cloth out of your room, and you can take your video game savings and buy clothes, or the food you eat...the pop you like to drink and if you don't you'll get brustle sprouts for bfast lunch and dinner until you do and YOU can feed YOUR dog, bathe YOUR dog vacume YOUR room, all that good stuff o and pay for the water YOU use for a bath........i can be mean and i'd put a stop to that FAST

I agree with you in most

I agree with you in most instances, this particular wii was purchased before she and her son moved in. she wrote it was when her husband was single. How could anyone have known that this was going to become an issue? Was SS not allowed to save up an ever buy himself anything? I really think this whole thing could have been handled better but I think the OP's dislike of her ss prevented this. A talk about this wii should have happened a long time ago and it should have never become a family item since ss saved up and bought it. Should he have been told that if its in the family area it needs to be shared? Yes but it should not have become the families main source of entertainment, basically she used the ss's system and the fact he bought it against him. He should have never had to buy a family item and she should have never bought her own son games for it or allowed others to do so. The way to have corrected this is to have bought another family system right off the bat. This was just brewing for an explosion. SS had every right to be upset, its hard enough blending a family as it is but then to have another child come in and basically try to dominate something you saved for isn't right.

Oh and now that this family

Oh and now that this family is one I would suggest in the future not allowing kids or skids to use their personal money to buy items like this but when this was purchased (I'm assuming) skid was an only kid so the problem was never thought of

I hear what you are saying

I hear what you are saying buttercookie. Just to set the record straight though, dad and I did discuss this when we were married and moved in together. I was concerned about this becoming an issue and expressed that...I did NOT like the fact that his son had a Wii that was HIS and would have discouraged and may not have allowed my own BS such a purchase. It was his dads idea to put it in a 'family' location and it was dads idea that the Wii should be shared. It's OUR tv and OUR electricity. It was agreed to by dad and me to get Wii Fit and buy BS Wii games. I didn't do any of this all on my own. Dad was the one that wanted the Wii on the big tv and hence ended up in a 'Family' area.

I do agree though that we contributed to the issue by making it a 'family' gaming system when we bought the WiiFit and BS games. I did not properly foresee how SS would suddenly start pulling the 'it's mine' crap or I would have bought the Family Wii a long time ago. Hind site...

Guess what... dad and SS moved into my house... BS has to share HIS room he's been in his whole life. I have always instructed BS to share HIS stuff. BS pretty much lost everything that was HIS when SS moved in. SS didn't have much (except a damn Wii!) when they moved in. I've had to deal with the guilt trips for the last 1.5 years that we've been married about what BS has that SS doesn't (and never had!) and I've done my best to make up for all of it! I try my best to make things equal.

Sorry your kid has to share a

Sorry your kid has to share a room both your kids and your skid should be entitled to have their own possessions and while sharing should be encouraged some things kids should just be able to own especially if they paid for them with their own money. You and your husband decided to mix houses your kid and your skid shouldn't have to suffer. If you kid has something he saved up for and bought then by all means it should be his and not the families. You are causing a rift with your stepson over a stupid gaming system and if you continue you will have major problems with your skid, most of us here have the opposite problem with guilty daddies spending too much and over indulging their spoiled kids. You just have the problem with feeling you can punish your skid for saving up and buying something (which is actually a responsible thing for a child to do) because you and your husband chose to live in a house too small and they have to share a room.

I agree, my ss15 has an xbox

I agree, my ss15 has an xbox he bought with his own money and he takes it back and forth. Now he is not allowed to play it in the living room on the big tv. However he can play it when he wants and he can let whoever he wants to play or not. But he never even thought he could play in the living room on the big tv. It never occurred to him as it wouldn't be fair. I still say a good trade off is the little tv but he gets the right to say go can touch and who can't. I think it is a good thing he saved up his own money ad not just handed to him. Let him reap the benefits of his hard work.

I know you will have to buy another wii and I'm sorry but I think it is the best solution.

While life isn't always

While life isn't always fair.......that is exactly right. Do you think I want to share anything of mine or get along with every single co-worker. I have saved up and bought LOTS of things; now they are gone or ruined or borrowed. We have game sytems in every room of the house. Some in the boys room; some are thiers some games were bought by them - some game were bought for them. I do not see the diff. Saving up is great and yes it is his; but I really do not see the big deal about it becoming a family thing. Really?!?!? My son bought a game with his gift card - I allow my other son to play it; am I a bad mother. Just because I see it this way doesn't make it right; opinions; that's all they are....
My SD13 has a laptop that she got for Christmas and she keeps it in her room - I have never had the privilage of even touching it....I am sorry that is rude

I think the OP would look at

I think the OP would look at it differently if it was her son and her son's money used to entertain the family. I believe if a child saves for something they should not have to share it if they choose not to. I also think a wii was something I wouldn't allow a child to buy in the first place, but since he was an only child at purchase time no problem. It would have been better if these type of items, gaming system or group activities were purchased by the parents with the intent that they be shared from the beginning. In this case SS bought himself something he save for and the OP basically moved in and took it from him for the family and to add insult to injury she knowingly bought the clearly perferred child (her son) games to play on it not expecting the SS to be upset in the lest. Kids especially non spoiled kids need to be taught to respect others belongings and to do that you need to respect theirs. Like I said before I usually don't stick up for snot nosed skids but I am doubting the ss did anything wrong in this case. And if the OP sees nothing wrong I wonder what she'll make her SS save up to buy her son and the rest of the family next. And since the wii belongs to SS I don't see why it was a big deal if he decided to take his property with him when he left. OMG she had to spend some of her own money to entertain the family and not his.

Right! While I agree - I

Right! While I agree - I don't think that JUST because he bought it with his own money he doesn't EVER have to share it - what is that teaching your child. That just because you buy it - YOU don't have to share it... I just don't see it that way. I make my bios share with my SD - not vice versa though because - SHE doesn't have to. That's wrong and that my opinion. Sorry

When they moved in the option should have been - if it stays out here it's everyone's or we can put it in your room. But then do you expect the other child to share the games. It's just a silly thing that shouldn't be........

Oh I think the ss should

Oh I think the ss should share, this went beyond sharing. And if the OP wouldn't have basically stolen the wii from the SS the SS may have gradually shared esp if he was told if he didn't share x then otherson didn't have to share y. The whole situtation sucks and was handled wrong. While SS should have been encouraged to share he should not have been forced to completely lose something he paid for and that my dear is what happened here esp when the OP didn't like the fact she had to *gasp pay money to entertain her child when SS took his property with him to a visitation

I see that ss bought his own

I see that ss bought his own wii ok good for him. It is his wii and I scan tell you right now he will not want to sell it and it would be wrong to ask that of him. Now there is NOTHING wrong with having ss play it in his room on the little tv!

True bs will get the bigger tv however he still has to share with everyone else in the house hold! SS does NOT have too. I think it is a fair trade off. Think about it getting a say in who and when can play your wii and play anytime he wants and the only difference is a small tv? UM yeah FAIR!!!!

I think this is Good!!

I think ss is getting the

I think ss is getting the short end of the stick here while he should be rewarded for being responsible and saving don't most of us wish our skids show responsibility and when they do they are still wrong?

I'm still failing to see how

I'm still failing to see how ss is getting the raw end of the stick. I mean he has HIS OWN WII that one else will touch if he doesn't want them too. HOW is he getting the raw deal? I just don't see it. Plus this is being made into a huge issue that shouldn't be made into. give the boy a tv and be done! good grief Carlie Brown!

He's getting the raw deal

He's getting the raw deal because he paid for his wii with his own money and the other kid is getting a wii for free. Besides SS's wii was basically stolen from him and he was forced to share by buying the real son games for it and making it a family system. I guess I think this is a big issue because I was a skid and I wasn't one of the entitled brats we all complain about here and I was shorted as were my real brothers for our stepbrothers and things like this cause skids to rightfully think their step parents are evil and I don't think we should be punishing skids for being responsible and spending money they saved while rewarding our own kids by just giving them what the skid had to pay for.

That would be great if she'd

That would be great if she'd do it and it'd do a lot to bring her and the skid together and blend the family but I highly doubt it will ever happen she clearly doesn't like the fact her dh has another kid

Wow, while I admit I don't

Wow, while I admit I don't enjoy my SS, what on earth did I say that led you to say that I 'clearly don't like that my dh has another kid'? Come on - give me a break! I try my best to be fair to these boys and treat them equally. This was a situation that was not handled correctly a long time ago by dad (and I went along with it) when we married and my response was merely based on where we've come... that the Wii has become a family item... wrong as that was.

Further, for the record, I didn't yell at him. I only told him he'd be grounded from the Wii for a day. I think that is fair punishment for being a brat. It wasn't that he didn't want to share, he was just trying to be mean back at BS for something completely rediculous. Further, his dad has previously instructed him that because the Wii is in a 'Family' location, it is to be shared. Yes, we do allow both boys times to play 1-person games or choose to not play with the other. Mostly SS since BS usually wants to play with someone else. But this morning that was not the case. SS wasn't playing but told BS he couldn't play. It was purely out of spite. The boys are both instructed that if they have something that they are not using, and the other boy wants to use it, and we trust it won't be harmed, then they should share.

Once his dad and I agree on the purchase of the new Wii and location of his, we will explain that we were wrong to turn his Wii into a family thing and to make up for it, we are giving it BACK to him. I don't think he deserves a new one as someone else suggested. That's going a bit far. I will not appologize to him for the punishment. That was deserved for unbecoming behavior.

I totally agree with you.

I totally agree with you. Aren't we as parents allowed to make a few mistakes and this is not one that hurt anyone. Plus it she is trying to correct it so why is she getting dumped on?

Dangitagain like I said do what you and your dh think is best for YOUR family. ok.

Why is she only punishing the

Why is she only punishing the skid? What did he do? He defended his own property. Her kid stole skids ipod gee I wonder where he got the idea he could just take others things? Hmmm where oh where would he get that idea? Both kids should be punished for the bad behavior or neither gets punished. I guess if she grounds the skid from his own gaming system it frees it up for her kid to play it

BS gave the iPod right back.

BS gave the iPod right back. BEFORE I even talked to him. He only took it for retaliation AFTER SS was a jerk and quickly new what he did was wrong. SS never said "hey, it's ok, you can play". That is why I'm ok punishing skid and not punishing BS. BS was already punished by SS for not getting to play the Wii. SS will now be punished from the Wii for the same amount of time that he kept BS from it for no reason because he was a brat and didn't want to share.

And before you bash me saying 'but it's HIS Wii - he shouldn't have to share'... yeah I know. But that mistake was made along time ago when his dad and I made it the 'family' Wii.

Put it this way, you yourself

Put it this way, you yourself said the skid didn't have much. Now think of this as a kid. How would you feel if one of the very few items you own, that you saved for, wii's aren't cheap was taken from you and basically given to another kid? While it doesn't make what your skid did right it explains a lot. Have you even taken the time to even look at this with the skids perspective and don't throw the electricity or that type of adult stuff into the mix. It'd almost be better if it was actually stolen. I'm sure this is coming to head at this time because 1) he probably got new games around Christmas. 2) He's resented being forced to share this for a while and 3) you got upset he actually wanted to take something he bought with him to his mothers so he could play with it by himself causing you to have to rent a movie. He's a kid, your the adult. I don't want to be too harsh on you but I think you should try to look at this from his side of the story especially if he has/had as little as you say. I also feel if you were honest if this was turned the other way around and it was your son's game he paid for you'd look at it different. On that note I'm done in this thread, all I was trying to get you to do is see it from his side and cut him some slack and as far as the ipod it doesn't matter how long he had it he still took it and he should be held just as accountable for his bad behavior as your skid. I'm sorry but I think smoms like you who actually have semi decent skids make the rest of us with horrible skids look bad,

buttercookie she is TRYING to

buttercookie she is TRYING to set it right. Give HER some slack! She is is trying to figure things out as a sm and no not everyone is perfect or going to do everything perfect. But you have to give her credit for TRYING! For her to come back and say yes they were in the wrong for taking his wii and she is giving it back what more do you what for the poor woman? Dang with the way you talk you would think this was the end of the world for the boy? *rolling my eyes*

Thank you purpledaisies. I

Thank you purpledaisies. I appreciate your understanding. I am trying. It's so freaking hard but I am trying. So many things I thought would be different. So many feelings I thought would be different. I struggle everyday to try and do the right thing for both boys while sorting out and struggle with how I feel.

I know the risk of venting on here... been around for a while but don't post much and avoid drama blogs. Online, there is always going to be words that are taken wrong, situations misunderstood, assumptions made, unkind comments and just plain disagreements.

What buttercookie said stung. Because I guilt easily, it does make me question myself. That's a double edged sword for me. Sometimes it may help in getting better perspectives and sometimes, it's the slap that sends my self confidence as a mom and a person of character in the dirt.

Thanks again for sticking up for me.

Dang I really meant to be

Dang I really meant to be done here, while the OP might deserve to be cut some slack for a parenting mistake I don't think she deserves to be cut the slack until she cuts the skid some slack. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I'd be on this board fighting for a skids rights, but I am. Now I truly hope to be done and I hope the OP sees that she has reason to cut the skid slack, I actually think both the boys need to be sat down explained how they will get along as a family and the wii situation needs to be corrected. I don't think either of them should have punishment unless both of them gets it for their role in the morning shananigins.

double post

The other thing that would

The other thing that would help this issue would be for the parents to buy games the kids could play "together" instead of buying games only one kid could play at a time. The sharing wouldn't be an issue if both were playing the same game together but that might bring the kids together instead of keeping this "his" kid my "kid" rift and yes kids can feel it when parents do that even if they don't vocalize it.

Well then your SD has parents

Well then your SD has parents who can buy her the same game systems and did you son save up and buy his own system with his own money and then you took it for the family? Great way to save money make the skids spend their money on family stuff.

Buttercookie that doesn't

Buttercookie that doesn't always work. I know that with my 4 boys that didn't work. However we do have games that more than 1 person can play and they do play together but they have to be in the mood.

Doesn't mean you can't try to

Doesn't mean you can't try to bring them together. throwing your hands up and saying it doesn't work without trying isn't the answer. And they can set up times for the kids to play their own games such as one kid gets 30 minutes then the other gets the same unless both want to play the same game and then time limits don't matter unless some other family activity comes into play

Dangitagain do what you and

Dangitagain do what you and your de think is right for YOUR family! I am still not understanding why this is such an issue. Since it is YOUR BIG TV that ss had HIS wii on then give the boy a tv and be done. At least that is my opinion. Plus make this a learning thing with both kids. IT is called a COMPROMISE. When situations change such as when you 2 got married certain things will have to change too. Like the fact that your son now has to share his room. The least your ss can do is use a small tv. As I said before GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!

I love how you were so open

I love how you were so open to the comments and that you aren't mad and you are so easy to work with. This is cooperation, willingness to open your mind to new ideas.....

...something I have been looking for for so long in friends!!! Yay, you're getting another wii!!

I love the encouragement this site brings me. I have been wrong on some issues I posted and through the patient explanation of my fellow steptalkers, my BLOCK head is beginning to understand things I couldn't previously fathom.

I wanna wii now!!

Thanks ddakan. I'm here

Thanks ddakan. I'm here because I am definately looking for support and if what or how I do things is not right, I'm desparatly looking for constructive critisism from fellow SMs/BMs (since I'm both!)

I know I'm not perfect. I know I have and will make mistakes. I need a "it's ok - we're all human" and "but this is how you could handle it differently". Sometimes you get that and sometimes you just piss people off and they retort with unsympathic words.

I'll take what helps and try to forget the rest.

i dont understand why this is

i dont understand why this is such a huge issue either. This ss is not being slighted. His FATHER wanted the wii in the living room-so I guess technically the discussion should be between father and son. I understand everyone has a right to some of their own things-but, geez. Give it up already. The op has been allowing her ss to play wii on the family tv this whole time. What if one day she woke up and decided she did not feel like sharing her tv and told him he was no longer allowed on it? Or if the bs said, "hey, I dont like sharing my room with you-get out"-I am sure the bs probably saved up for something that at some point ss has touched, used, or played with. This happens in families all the time. My ds got a Mario game for wii for xmas. My daughters have used it as well. We gave both my ss and ds a dvd player some years back for xmas. Mine and dh's broke-guess what we comandeered their dvd player. Yes, I know we are evil. Technically, this is an issue to be decided by the adults in the household. yes, I know he saved his money. Great job! Although lots of kids do that nowadays. But as I tell my kids all the time, technically, YOU own no property-you are a minor-I own all the property in the house and it is up to me to decide what to do with it. The op is recognizing something that has become a problem (evidently it wasnt so much of one at first) and is making efforts to correct it. I am not sure how that translates into HER being unfair, favoring her child, or whatnot-she is acting like an adult in her home and with her family.

DoingItAgain - I have read

DoingItAgain - I have read and commented on this and I do not see how this was SUCH an issue; I had to refrain on a couple of occassions. But I like the comment about - Why aren't we allowed to make some mistakes....?!?!?!

Parents are not perfect and kids do not come with instructions; there will be mistakes along the way; it is whether or not you choose to learn from them and it is clear that if you had this to do over - you would? Stop defending yourself because I hardly think you did a life damaging thing to this child.

It is a game system - I understand that what was done wasn't "fair." okay we get it but like I said - "life isn't fair"

I accused my SD13 of doing something she didn't - flipped my lid and then found out I was wrong. YA OKAY!! I apologized and we moved on......that was that.

I think from here on out if you take steps all should be great!!
Good Luck

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