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Well, the title pretty much says it all. I went into work today & got told that they were letting me go.

One one hand, I am happy because I hated that job. It's a scam company & I have to lie to innocent people about a job interview & position. It's called Vector Marketing, and there are many testimonies on Google about how they scam college students & high school seniors. I have said before that I do not associate with people of bad character, & this place is full of those people.. which is probably one reason I was so miserable there. Fake, the best word to describe everyone's personality on the staff. I was literally miserable every day.

But, on the other hand, it was a job. That paid me weekly. Put groceries in my kitchen, gas in my truck, clothes on my skids (not expensive clothing, but what I could find that fit & was nice looking), etc. Just the small things that I could afford. DH runs his own company. It's just a small business, but it keeps us afloat. I will say that we are OK, we don't really find ourselves in need of anything. Bills get paid, food gets bought, & occasionally we can treat ourselves to McDonnalds or something. But still.. I don't pay bills. I keep the house clean, take the kids to school, & do all the errands. I try to help as much as possible since he bears 95% of the financial burden. But now, I don't know what I am going to do. I have no money comming in at the moment..

I am angry, sad, happy, scared, discontent, anxious, nervous, relieved.. all at the same time! & I have no one to talk to about it. I don't really have "friends" to talk to.. I've always been the loner type. Social & friendly, but never one to have a lot of friends. One or two really good ones is all I have ever needed. & I definately can't talk to DH about it. He hugged me and laid with me for a couple minutes when I told him the news this afternoon, but that's as far as that's going to go, & I'm lucky I got that. It's not that he doesn't care, he just isn't a nurturer. He is not the one to go to when you are sick & want someone to take care of you. Or when life has you all twisted up & you need a kind shoulder to lean on. He is the type of person to tell you to suck it up & get over it. But, as a woman, sometimes I need that hug, that kiss, that touch..

So, I did what I always do.. I called Mom. I can always call her & vent about issues; BM problems, skid problems, work problems, life issues, i can't cook this fucking pork roast problems, etc. I took the dog out to potty for an excuse to get away from DH & skids, to call Mom & cry & let it out. She didn't really have anything to say to make me feel better, but just knowing that someone is listening & letting it out makes it feel less horrible. Before I moved in with DH, I lived with her, & she knew how miserable that job was.

I'm not really going anywhere with this. Just wanted to get thoughts out before it got late. & of course since my emotions are all over the place, the skids drove me crazy today. They were behaving badly, mostly SS3. SD3 was pretty good when I finally got them home from school.

I think now I will browse a few more of y'alls (hopefully more positive) posts, finish this glass of Sangrea, & take a hot bath.

Thanks for listening! Lol.