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What wonderful qualities BM teaches SD

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 7:13pm

What wonderful qualities BM teaches SD, insert all intended sarcasm please. I really have to wonder just what BM and apparently her entire family is thinking. Dh and I just found out SD16 has had a hidden FB account for a year and a half, She has friended BM, SF, and her maternal aunts from this account. SD lied about it when asked by DH (three times) then said BM told her it was okay to open since at the time (summer 2009) and periodically since SD has lost FB due to inappropriate behavior. Really? Its okay to sneak & lie… is this really the type of kid you want, BM?

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RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 9:26am

We just found out that SD13 has a hidden FB account... She's daddy's 'good girl' while my BD13 takes all the heat. Trying to figure out how to approach this one... DH and I have talked to the girls about having a FB account, and since they are 13, we let them know that when/if it happens, we will have access, too. So, it's not like SD13 was just playing around making the account, she knows it's an issue. And yeah, BM knows about it...

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 10:04am

Same issue here..SD9 has a hidden FB account that her BM set up but SD9 asked me to be her friend on FB that's how I found out. I declined her invite and talked to her about it when I saw her. To say the least that conversation didnt got well as she was upset that I declined her request. It didnt seem to bother her that she was keeping this account a secret from us. Anyway I told her that her BM set up the account and we will not be part of that.

Listen the only reason her BM set up the account was to upset us. I would not add my SD as a friend simply because her BM is her friend and would know all of my business and my husbands families business. (no one wants any contact with this women..I cannot tell my SD this but to make things simple I simply told her it's her account to chat with her BM's family and friends)...

Not sure if I handled it properly but I'm trying.... boy it's tough being a SM...

Z Smile

Timetogiveup's picture

Submitted by Timetogiveup on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 11:12am

I get the really stupid lies too. Some of the things that come out of my SS17 mouth are just beyond stupid. I wonder if he think I'm that stupid or he is just stupid beyond belief.

According to my SS, BM told him its ok not to tell the truth IF you are going to keep yourself or someone else out of trouble. BM told the kid this is not a lie, you are just protecting someone. Seriously, isn't the reason behind most lies is keeping yourself or someone else out of trouble?

The "not a lie" is if you are not directly asked about something, you don't have to tell about it. This happened with Chat-room he was involved with, it was really meant for adults. I did not say the EXACT name of the group, he did not admit being a member of it. He said there was no such group. He was "right" because he didn't belong to a group of that name.

As far as secrets go, its ok to keep them because they are secrets.

So my SS lies about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I mean really stupid things, we had a pretty big episode before Christmas over a stupid lie. Yesterday he told me another really stupid lie, like I promised him: I called the school to verify his claim this morning. I'm soooooo done with.

For years I have been wondering if BM would still have or condone her definition of a lie, if the divorce never occurred and she had to deal with this lying child 24/7. His therapist told me, he doesn't have the concept of what truth is because of what BM conditioned him to believe.