SO calls all week to pick up SD4 for Christmas. (not divorced yet, no court order) No answer, no call back. Finally SO loses his cool and yells on the answering machine. BM calls back with "what do you want?" Argument ensues over seeing children for Christmas. He goes to BM's house the next day to try to see kids. Brings gifts for boys, tries to pick up SD4. BM tells him no. Can't see kids for Christmas. He tries to call their names from doorway, BM slams door in his face. He goes to car and calls me. I tell him to knock again. He knocks, no answer. He calls and leaves message that he will bring this up in court. Calls me back and cries on the phone. We go have dinner. We pass Christmas with a cloud overhead. One teen boy manages to call and say thank you for his gift. Phone rings today and SD4 is on the other end saying Merry Christmas to her dad. Asks to speak with me, asks me if everybody is ok, especially the pets. I reassure her everyone is ok and that we can't wait to see her for Christmas. She starts telling her BM she wants to go to Francesca's house to see her daddy and me. BM says to say goodbye, I say, wait, talk to your dad again. He tells her he'll pick her up. BM dictates what day she wants her back (kid is not even in school), teen boy tells his mother something and she yells to him to shut up. SO tells BM not to yell at kids like that. She says "he's trying to tell me what to do." Plans for pickup made. We don't know why she called today, maybe she felt guilty. My wish is that either this woman gets somewhere with her therapy or SO gets custody. Why do they make these kids suffer this way?