Hi Everyone,

I haven't been on for awhile, but Christmas is here and once again I need to vent to re-cap my most wonderful year involving SD 24yo. She is a gem and like all step-mom's I keep trying to repair damage that this selfish little *&%# puts my bio-daughter and I through.

2010 was a happy year. This year my daughter was married to a wonderful man who whisked her off to another province. They are both doing Masters degrees at the University of Toronto. The wedding was beautiful and I am so happy for both of them.

The year before my SD Melanie got married and she is off an on her own now too. But resides close to our home...too close as far as I am concerned. Why is it that my daughter had to move away, we are so close...like best friends. She is smart, respectful and witty. Such a beautiful young lady. I am proud of her

Some history....my grief began and soon as I married my DH. Melanie my SD cannot stand me or Melissa (my bio-daughter)and has never managed to accept either one of us. I honestly can tell you that when Melanie was younger, she was a BRAT and I can honestly say still that she has transformed herself from a BRAT to a BITCH. And to be honest, there was the usual step-blended problems to deal with. We were certainly not the perfect family, I will tell you that!

Not to say that Melissa (as an adult) and I have not tried to mend some fences in latter years. Melissa attended Melanie's wedding, attended with a gift of a beautiful piece of art and told her how beautiful she looked that day. We assumed all was good although a close knit bond was or never has been there, there was an element of respect so all was well (or so we thought).

Now let's advance a year to Melissa's wedding. Small service with parents in Bermuda (Melissa wanted no family conflict) with a service and reception back home 6 weeks later (service performed by the groom's parent's - they are ministers). Melanie's reaction....totally peeved off because she was not invited to Bermuda....but what do you expect when you have spoken to your step-sister mabye a total of 4 times in four years and reject all of her socialisms, compliments, etc. Why should you be invited? Reality check? Hello? Melissa honestly thought that Melanie's presence in Bermuda would have stressed her out and ruined her day and, I wholeheartedly agree, it would have.

However, Melanie was invited to the back home reception, and the result for the "back home" reception? Melanie send her reply card back with a DECLINE. So she missed her step-sisters wedding. Actually my father-in-law,brother-in-law and SD (they are a classy bunch) all DECLINE responses. But it was the step-sister DECLINE that hurt the most, after all she took a trip to Niagara Fall to attend the wedding of ther BF the week before. And, Melissa sent out her Save the Dates A YEAR IN ADVANCE! There as NO excuse. DH was OK with this and never said a word. Melissa totally hurt and rejected...after all she made the effort to attend Melanie's wedding...

So let's proceed to Christmas. I decided it might be a good time to once again try to "mend the fences" so DH goes for breakfast with his daughter and let's her know that it was wrong to miss the wedding celebration of her step-sister Melissa. Nor did she acknowledge or congratulate Melissa, never bothered to look at the photos or comment on them, no gift, no card, NOTHING. So DH talks to her about this three weeks ago and do you know what her response was? Oh, I'm sorry I thought I had congratulated her...hmmmm mabye I didn't? OK Dad tell you what, if Lorraine (me and step-mom) will agree to make gingerbread with me (this is a long-standing tradition that my BIO-DAUGHTER and I have done since she was a little girl)then I will send Melissa a congratulatory note for her wedding. So to make DH happy, I got together with the little selfish &^%$ and made the damn cookies. Melanie damn well knew that the cookie thing would bother Melissa just a little bit. But anything to get under the skin of dear step-sister!

So let's proceed to yesterday. My bio-daughter and her husband fly in from Toronto for Christmas with the fam. Melissa let's me know that Melanie sent her some generic Dollar store Christmas Card with a 1/4 portion of a loose leaf paper inserted saying "Sorry Melissa, I thought I had congratulated you on your wedding - all the best" Not even a fucking wedding card like I had suggested....not we are not worth the effort. DH thinks that we should let it go...at least an effort was made and is now pissed off that we are so flabbergasted at the lack of effort to make amends PROPERLY...conclusion....Melanie is a selfish, selfish girl who only thinks of herself. She's not sorry. Oh but during gingerbread time, she had to get in the Christmas list of stainless steel knives, a new wok, and bedsheets.

So this Christmas I would like to say to my DH (without saying it right now). I give up. You daughter is an a-hole. She is so self-absorbed and self-centered. She cares only about herself. But the worst thing is? She plays the poor me card so well, that she has my fam convinced it is Melissa and I that are the problem. You know what....I DO NOT LIKE THE GIRL and never will!!!!

Today I received a call from step-daughter saying that she can make Christmas Breakfast this year, but only if we agree to have it EARLY so that she can make it to her sister-in-laws house and then her mother-in-laws house and then back to her brother-in-laws house....ARRGGHHHHH. Fuck you girl...I work hard and breakfast WILL TAKE PLACE AT 9:00 AM and not 7:30 as her highness wishes....what a dufus...

Merry Christmas everyone. I can be cordial, but never again will I put in the effort I did last week, that was the lamest attempt at an apology I have every seen, so insincere and so lacking in effort....I give up......I GIVE UP!!!!!!!

Thanks for the vent!