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I lost my baby to this little monster

Barbie2390's picture

To start off let me say I have a 1 year old son and my step brat is 5 and wow ive grown to hate the little monster. When i first met her i liked her she was this sweet little girl now i cant stand to even hear her name. I think it all started when he told me that she wasnt his biological daughter because her mother was a h** and when they first did anything he found out she was already 2 months pregnant because he swore he wore a condom and she told him 1 week later she was pregnant really who gets pregnant at one week? He messed around with her as a one time thing on a trip to mexico and this all of a sudden happens,he then started doubting but he said she sounded so sure he said well maybe the condom tore and it is his 7 months later the little girl is born yes (7 MONTHS) and shes not a premie. She was born in mexico so she had to send all the papers over here so he can legalize the little girl point being the papers say she was a full term 40 week baby. Can anyone explain that? because she said it is his but he messed around with her 7 months before and the little girl was born at 9 months now im no mathmatician but these numbers arent right. So the H** put his last name before he could say anything so legally its his just not biologically and its obvious she looks nothing like him. Well from that being said we were at costco one day and she tells me my daddy and mommy are going to get back together because im going to tell them to and i got really mad and told her nicely no because your daddy has his life with me now and she said hes going to leave you for my mommy i then told him and he didnt believe me he said shes an sngel she would never lie sure enough the h** calls him and tells him that she was saying that to her boyfriend he then believed me. Scenario 2 we were at six flags i was 3 months pregnant yes with his baby (biologically his) and i went to keep her company being his wife and trying to like her we were walking and i was holding her hand she then cracks my finger and trys to break it immediatly let go and she started crying and threw a tantrum and yes i will not deal with that not even with my son. So i left her on the floor and walked away to where i can still see her. Told him and he didnt believe me until we went to the doctor sure enough i had a dislocated finger. Sceneario 3 i lost the baby because of that monster her mom knew i was pregnant knew that was a danger to her and her daughter so we went to drop off that little brat to her mom 2 hours away to t.j with my son, her mom being a spanish speaker only starts talking bad about my son so like any mother of course it gets u mad so if it wouldnt have been for my husband and him reminding me i was pregnant i wouldve whooped her a**. But i didnt so 2 weeks later her horror monster started jumping on me while i was sleeping yes jumping on my pregnant belly. i started getting cramps like 2 hours later im thinking there just muscles contracting because of the impact so 2 days later we took her back, about 1 hour away from home i felt i peed on my self and i told my husband i think i just peed and he was laughing and said Baby u couldnt wait ur such a funny bunny. i started laughing too i then feel warm liquid and told him i know im not peeing i check and im bleeding and i told him im bleeding and he then asked how much i told him i dont know and he said ok lets drop her off and see how ur doing so we dropped her off started heading back home i was just spotting dark blood i called my dr he said thats normal its probably old blood or if u recently had intercourse so we were calm the next morning im at work at started getting really bad cramps i emailed my husband at work and told him and he said go see if ur bleeding i checked and my liner was full i immediatly put a pad on i checked 3 hours later it was full bright red blood i called him and told him he came during my lunch we both went to the doctor, dr checked and said well ur cervix is closed so thats a good sign of ur baby still being in you i then felt better we went back to work and at night i started getting more cramps i was crying felt like contractions and we went to the hospital i got a vaginal ultrasound and a regular one he then said he sees something never cleared to us what he saw. My husband and i assumed its our baby still in me both relieved we get called to a room im bleeding heavily wearing the hospital robe and i was talking to my husband all of a sudden i told him i feel like a clot is going to come i thought its going to be the regular one that have been comming out small one and the bath room was occupied i put my hand to get it SURPRISE SURPRISE MY BABY FELL RIGHT ON TO MY HAND followed by the placenta i started crying and screaming and immediately he doctors came and checked after me histerically crying i got so upset after 4 doctors sticking there hand in me yes i know its the doctor but i was just so upset. My doctor gets there officially declares as Spontaneous Misscarriage what caused this a heavy impact on ur stomach what was it that horror brat. I then told him and he said no shes an angel i said then dont believe me that bastard of a child killed our daughter yes we found out it was a girl. I got so upset at him for defending the little girl he gets mad at me for insulting her i then told him shes not even yours and she made us loose the one that was yours no instead of every 2 weeks to pick her up he now goes 1 time a month and the first time after that i saw her we were putting cristmas lights up and we just bought a snowman ballon thingy i didnt want it up it was going to rain and didnt want it wet she made a huge fit that she wanted to see it my husband putts it for her just to see and she comes up and says my daddy loves me more yes with my grief and pain and anger toward her i slaped the sh*t out of her and he gets mad shes just a baby im screaming at him no manny (my son) is just a baby the baby we lost was just a baby that kid is old enough to know what shes doing and he finally saw that and now he kinda holds a grudge against her to he knows better than to bring her to my home so she sleeps at his moms. Can some one help me out with this what should i do.

Comments

Colorado Girl's picture

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Sad

I personally think that you need some professional help in dealing with your grief. You are very angry, which is very normal, but I think you need to learn to cope with your situation better then you are in the present moment.

Your loss is profound... and your blaming the child who may have caused the miscarriage is understandable, it is not necessarily healthy. You can't continue living like this.

~CG

oneoffour's picture

I am sorry for your loss. It must be heartbreaking for you.

However, I think your anger is misdirected. You are angry at a child that didn't ask to be born. But your DH made a lityany of mistakes by just going along with the plan that this child is his despite scremaing evidence to the contrary.

He defends this child (who didn't ask to be in this mess, she just is)to the core. And he has a point. She is a child. She is only 5. You are attempting to instill adult thoughts etc into her.

Now say she spends all her time with her mother who weaves some story about her and her father getting back together and being a happy family etc if ONLY you are out of the picture. She hears this every day. What is she supposed to think?

And children DO pull away and dislocate fingers. Only last night my sister overseas was playing ball with her kids and broke her daughters little finger when she threw the ball too hard. Things happen.

As for jumping on your stomach. I would wonder why she did that now and not before?

I get you hate this child with every fibre of your being. But surely you should be directing your anger at the person responsible for this mess.... your husband. He has chosen to take this child on without even a DNA test. He is allowing her to behave like this (although I see it no more than a child being a child while bounced between 2 homes with one home where she is unwanted by her stepmother).

So what do you want to do? Divorce him? You can't make him not see her and it is unfair for your son and your s/daughter to be faced with your anger all the time.

She is 5. When your son is 5 maybe you will understand why she is behaving this way. Expecting adult behaviour from her is VERY unfair. And frankly, if some 2 bit leg spreader wanted to make rude remarks about my child I would consider the source. She is not going to respect you and she deserves nothing more than to be ignored. Nothing will annoy her more than being ignored.

Get counselling. You certainly need it.

calm retreat's picture

I agree with the posts above. Sweetheart, I can't even begin to know your pain. You can't go on like this for long. Please, get some grief counseling. We come here to vent, to release our anger and resentments, and it's good for most of us because it helps us prevent taking out our anger on the children. But in your case I think the anger and pain might be too great, and I think it would benefit you to get some intensive help dealing with your loss! My heart goes out to you as well!

Willow2010's picture

Get counselling. You certainly need it.

++++++++++++++++

I agree very much. And try to stay away from the 5 year old, if not for her sake, then for your sake.

Barbie2390's picture

Oh believe im doing that she is no longer welcomed to my home she stays with his mom and his niece there the same age so she loves it.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

I'm sorry for your loss. I am still recovering from my miscarriage.

It has been over two weeks and I am still wiping and seeing small traces of old blood. I hate hospitals and had my miscarriage at home naturally. I am waiting for my period to come to finish "cleaning" me out.

My miscarriage was caused by stress. My bloodwork came back perfect , so it was not a problem with me physically. I am not going through anymore pregnancies. I have a child already and am very content with that. Others like me have not been so lucky and my heart goes out to them.

In my opinion, you should be angry at your husband only.

Get Well.

Barbie2390's picture

Im share your pain. I recently got off my period. i lost my baby on November 17 so its been a month already.But looking at my sons smile can really pick me up and i just hug him and kiss him hes the reason im still sane. I love my little boy with all my heart

Anon2009's picture

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know how tough miscarriages are, and what it feels like to be so angry Sad

Howevi too was angry at my SEe. I thought it was their fault. In reality, though, it wad BM's fault.SHE was the one who made fun of me for miscarrying. She wad and DH were the ones who let the kids act like heathens.

I got myself into counseling and got on medication because I contemplated suicide. It was he**. Only after several sessions of intense therapy and being on mere for months did I feel better. My therapist also helped me realize that I was misdirecting my anger. SKs were acting the way they did because they were young and nobody bothered to teach them better. They certainly didn't kill or intend to kill my baby. They weren't much older than your SD.

Please look into getting counseling and medication. Also, maybe you could distance yourself from SD. Once you're ready, you can interact with her. I might get flamed for this, but I think you should apologize to her for slapping/hitting her and saying that to her. I can guarantee that at 5, she doesn't know anything about miscarriages and how they are caused.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at all times,