Why doesn't she wash her own hair? My girls are 8, 7, 4 and 8 months, and I only still wash hair for the baby. The other girls wash themselves all over, including their hair. Obviously I spot check it but they've been taught to wash and are perfectly able bodied to do so.

Um, not to be an alarmist, but that's a little creepy. How long has he been her stepdad? Since she was a baby, or just recently? What does her BD think of this? Does he know?

I think 8 is a little old. My SD5 still requires help. She can do most things on her own but I help her rinse her hair and ensure that all the soap/conditioner is out. Her SD does the same sometimes when she is at her BM's. By 8 though I anticipate she will be doing this on her own.

ew, i've had 4 kids and all of them can wash their hair good enough. and 3 skids have all been able to handle it. being a woman i wouldnt help my ss in the bathroom, inappropriate.

what a creeper!!!!!

nobody is washing my daughters hair but me. if there was a stepmom i would prefer she helped than having dad do it. girls are girls and don't need men oogling their goodies at 8 freakin years old!!

My SS is only two and I've already started asking my DH to give him baths to avoid just this situation being brought up by BM. As far as how old is too old, it depends on the kid. I still have to help my six year old nephew or the back would never get washed, but my one year old washes his hair (and everything else in the bathroom!) just fine.

I have washed both my SS6's hair occasionally when they get sand in it from the playground. But I always allow them to wear underwear in the shower, and tell them to wash their bottoms once I'm finished with the rest of their hair/bodies.

It makes me uncomfortable when SD9 calls DH into the bathroom when she's in the shower, and he's her freakin biodad.

If skids perverted bisexual stepdad were bathing ANY of my skids, I'd raise holy hell alongside DH.

Pedophiles do not advertise their obsessions, and actually being able to live with a woman who has brought his obsession right into his home, allowing him to bathe her offspring, is a dream come true for such a perv.

I agree with many of the other posters that a.) this is creepy and b.)Eight y/o is more than old enough to be doing this herself.

It comes down to the simple fact that bathing yourself from beginning to end is a basic life skill and by this age should be done solo.

I am also surprised as many were that your DH didn't seem to be too alarmed by it?

Earlier someone asked if this SF has been around a while or is a new SF to this child... Good Question! I was thinking though that some men aren't interested in a little girl until she is of a certain age. So that freaked me out about this post even more. I hope its all innocent, I also hope he has not just been sitting back waiting for her to "grow up". DH/BD needs to get on that right away!!!

Prepare...BM will likely be very defensive, at least to begin with.

I would not get too alarmed untl after you've talked to bm. I learned a long time ago never to take anything that ss says to heart-sometimes its lies-sometimes its just not the complete story. Could sd possibly have assisted her a time or two in rinsing out the soap perhaps? And she just generalized it to "stepdad washes my hair". I would just ask bm about it

Good Point hismineandours!!

Oh Yeah hismineandours I have been wanting to tell you this.. Everytime I see your username my eyes initially see
"misdemeanor". Once they focus I see you are His, Mine and Ours.. LOL

This is what I see (as always, I could be wrong.)

1. SD8 usually washes her hair at your house by herself and does a reasonably good job at it.
2. Recently, StepFather has been washing it for her at her mothers, probably in the shower.
3. There is "gunk" in her hair, indicating that Stepfather is really NOT washing her hair at all.

I would certainly want to know more about this. The fact that Dad didn't jump right on the phone to BM and gave himself time to think is not a problem AS LONG AS HE DOES BEFORE SHE IS ALONE WITH STEPFATHER AGAIN. This is a touchy subject that needs to be approached in the right way so that BM doesn't feel attacked but sees what is concerning you and Dad.

We could have a whole debate on how old a child should be when they take a shower on their own, etc. but that's not really the issue here, as the SD8 does shower on her own at your house and I would also assume that she used to at her mom's also since she seems to do a good job. So, why is Stepfather all of a sudden stepping in to supervise and "help?"

She should be more than capable of washing herself at that age. There's something wrong there. Either there's something wrong with her and she just can't do it, or BM has failed to teach her basic levels of age-appropriate independence.