If the doc says that ss is doing well, I don't think there is any reason to be overly concerned. But at the same time I can understand your dh's oversensitivity. DD10 had a febrile seizure when she was 19 months old and stopped breathing. It took me a couple of years to not freak out over every little cold that produced a fever, etc. When you feel like you are going to lose your child, even when you don't, that feeling stays with you and it's the worst fear in the world. I cannot imagine my child's heart stopping! How horrible!

DH being blue seems a little over the top though and I think you have reason to be concerned. His son is alive and well, so he should be celebrating life and ENJOYING it with his family and his son... not so upset that he withdraws from it.

Maybe you can talk to him gently from that standpoint... that ss is ALIVE and HEALTHY and that in and of itself is reason to CELEBRATE and be HAPPY. You also should consider that if he's overly depressed, he may require medical evaluation. But I'd start with a gentle, loving conversation about the POSITIVE things that are happening now and that dwelling on what happened a year ago is not doing him or his son any good.

Hope this helps.

sounds like hes having a very pessimistic outlook on this, The fact that his son is alive and healthy for the holiday season, he should be thankful and grateful that he made it through. I would remind him that he should be enjoying this time with his son and celebrating rather than mourning and moping around. but if this is the first year sense the bad event happened, some people are slow about getting over things, perhaps after another year gos by he will let go of it and not be this upset next year. large scares are hard to get over. if it has been a few years though, Id constantly remind him with the positive points. don't know if it will help but its always worth a try.

and its understandable that you would be bothered by this, when people are sad and stressed like that, it makes things hard for everyone, and especially sense its all around the time of your anniversary and holidays which should be things to look forward too and be excited about. its naturally gonna cause you a lot of frustration.

but yeah, maybe the positive reinforcement and maybe even talking about planning to do something special for his son after your anniversay might help him through it? I'd try to come up with ideas for that, but I dont know his age. the age thing might be a factor too if his son is really young as to why he is so stressed.

Maybe an annual framed photo of happy, healthy, smiling SS as a gift to DH?

I can relate to your DH. My son was born 3.5 months premature. He was hospitalized for almost 4 months. Ill save you from hearing about all the details, but it was bad. My son is now 9 months old and I still think about everything that happened to him. Everyday it runs across my mind. When I start thinking about some of it I have to continually remind myself of how lucky I am to have DS and be thankful for his health. Its not easy. Could it be that your DH may have some PTSD? (Post traumatic stress disorder) If he can't get past what happened, I would definitely get him some help. Men deal with their emotions differently and so sometimes it takes a gentle push to get them to deal with how their feeling. He's probably dealing with a lot of guilt over his sons hospitalization and living in fear. Guilt and fear will emotionally paralyze someone and make it difficult to move on. Support your DH by guiding him to the help that he needs.