Attack of the annoying ex-wife.

Do you ever get to the point that you're just mentally exahsted with dealing with a person. I have been dealing with my BF's jelous ex-wife for almost a year now, and it just keeps going. It's like the annoying little fly that regardless of how many times you swat at it, it just comes back.

This lady has tried everything from trying to be my friend, trying to turn the kids against me, calling my BF's mother and bawling to her, calling me names, telling my BF that she is terminally ill when she's not, not letting him take the kids to his parent's house for holidays due to she wishes it was her going and not me, and sending him desperate texts out of no where telling him she is still in love with him. She drives me nuts. She just won't stop. And she keeps bringing it to the next level everytime it happens again. I'm wondering what will come next with this lady.

My issue is that my BF claims that he can't stand her and will never get back together with her, but last night while the two of us were laying in bed he went to tell me something, but he called me by her name. This happened the day after she sent him a text telling him she loved him and if they ever loved again, she would love him right. They have been divorsed for a while now, and he has never done that before. Was he just lying in bed thinking about her? What does that mean?

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DH has done that to me

DH has done that to me before. The first time I was LIVID. It's happened a few times but the only time it was upsetting was the first. By the way, I have called him my exboyfriends name on accident as well. I know I read too much into it. Who knows, he could have been thinking about holidays, clearing his text messages, thinking about skids, etc.... Try to not let it upset you!!! If he wanted to be with BM he would be - she would obviously jump at the chance - but he is with you.

Ladies I hope you can help

Ladies I hope you can help me...right now I just feel in running far, far away. The problem is that I really love the man I am engaged to (the date has been set for Valentine's Day 2011). When its just us our relationship is great but his ex wife is horrible and poisoning what we have. They have a seven y/o that she uses to maniputlate him and his parents. She calls me every name in the book and he justifies it saying if he said anything it would just start a fight with her and interfer with his visitation. I don't know if I can handle this person haunting my life. I have read your posts here and it sounds hopeless, like she will always be there calling and causing problems playing the "I have your kid card". Am I tossing out the baby with the bath water...losing out on a good man because of the ex or should I just accept this as no relationship is perfect and this is the hardship in ours? How can her effect on our live be lessened?

I am sendings this with tears

I am sendings this with tears of gratitude..my fiance and I both read thru your response together and talked it thru..hearing from a neutral third party seems to be the key..He says that he going to draw the line when things get nasty from the ex...I know saying and doing are two diffent things but I am glad that your response helped him to even see my point of view clearly when I couldnt..thanks for your help, I really appreciate it...this site is no doubt where it will come to get advice from the veterans

I feel for you-my bf's ex

I feel for you-my bf's ex still pines for him too...and they've been apart for 4-5 years now also. And he's like your guy-hates the thought of even being in the same room w/her.

I know you'd probably feel horrified he called you her name-but it just really could be a slip of the tongue. How long were they married?

My bf only refers to his ex as "the ex" or something worse, not her first name-so I don't forsee a slip of the name like that...but really-it happens to a lot of people.

I think it's just a sensitive spot because you know she wants him back and seems to try everything under the sun to mess with you guys and get him back. He chose you, remember that.

I have and e told me that

I have and e told me that after he had dropped the kids off that morning she had mentioned to him that she was going to need extra help with the kids throughout December because of her job. That's apparently why he called me her name.

What's funny is that I asked him when he got back if there was anything said, due to the previous days texting, of I want, I need you from her, and he said that they barely said anything. Why wouldn't he have told me then?

Her needing extra help and asking him for it is kind of a huge thing to us seeing as how due to all the holiday issues, like trying to get him to take the kids trick or treating with her in her neighborhood because it was her week, inviting me knowing all to well I wasn't going to do that, and then not allowing him to see his kids if her terms weren't followed to a T. (Sorry about that little tyraid.) They were supposed to be following the divorse decree to a T.

So now that she needs help, she doesn't want to follow it anymore and decided that we can have the kids on Thanksgiving too all of a sudden. It kind of gives him some power in the situation, She's got him by the balls most of the time.

To me, this is not something you forget to mention until twelve hours later while you're laying in bed, and then call the girl that you are planning on marrying the name of your ex-wife.

My DH has called me BM1's

My DH has called me BM1's name, but geez, we were fighting and probably about SS. I must have sounded just like her for a minute, and I don't ever want to remind him of her or BM2. DH has only done this a couple of times, that is life, and we move on.

Heck, I can't even remember to call holidays by the right names, and I like those.

I have officially been with DH longer than either of the BMs combined. We work well together and he's stuck with me forever!!

Thanks what2do. I appreciate

Thanks what2do. I appreciate the feed back. I just don't understand how she can't see her behavior as crazy. Or any of the crazy BMs out there.

When you take somebody for granted for years, expect them to support your wanting to live the life of the wives of Orange County, scream at them with the crazy eye bugging out of your head look for not putting his clothes in the hamper, say horribly mean things to him, what do expect? That he's just going to run into your arms because you claim to have changed. I don't think so. Being selfish is a character trait. She hasn't changed. She's just had a chance to shop around and realized what's out there and what she had. And now, she wants it back.

She has yet to do that, but

She has yet to do that, but she was trying to get me to let her take my five year old daughter over to her house after she gets out of school because I work and she thought that it would be helpful for me. After I had my BF tell her that I was uncomfrotable with that she couldn't understand how it's okay for me to be around her kids and yet I don't want her anywhere around mine, due to her behavior. And on a side note, what ex-wife wants to hang out with his new girlfriends 5 year old daughter? What did she do. The next school day she showed up in the morning to drop something off for her daughter when it wasn't even her week and the little girl that lives next door caught her sitting there at the playground having a talk with my daughter. Of course I wasn't there. I was at work.

There's no way that I would ever allow my daughter around a sociopath. It's my job to protect her because she can't do it herself.

This lady had no idea what boundaries are, and if she wants to mess with me that's fine, but she's willing to go to whatever extent she needs to including messing with my daughter.