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Question for those with teenage SKs

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 10:46am

I ponder what the future could be for me. BF 10 daughter is getting to a point where her behavior is never good...only more annoying and immature. She is sooooooooo self centered. She never has a normal voice, it is a constant whine. When she calls to her father she says DAAAAAAEEEEEEYYYYYY instead of saying DADDY (like a 3 yr old would that had a little problem getting certain sounds out) which is new behavior. Can you even imaging how annoying that is. Sometimes I honestly have to leave the room and busy myself elsewhere so I don't lose my sanity. She has no discipline, no responsibilities, and is treated with all the respect an adult is by her father. Example: We got our laptop fixed and had the guy make everyone an account so that there would be privacy for us and parental controls for her...what happened first day..her dad told her the password for our account. I've never seen anything like it. BF will never change his way of thinking that he is raising her right and that she will outgrow it. I don't think so.

Any of you who have had a young stepchild that was similiar to BF daughter and now they are teenagers...I am anxious to hear your stories.

Comments

NCMilGal's picture

Submitted by NCMilGal on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 11:24am

I have a good ending story of a SD who was a lot like that at age 10 - but I don't think it'll help you.

BM and DH were well on their way to ruining SD when she was a child/tween. BM treated SD like her BFF because she didn't have a stable man in her life, and DH was Disney Daddy all the way. SD at 11 was a sulky self-centered brat who inserted herself into every conversation - telling me how we should spend out money, whining about what was on the TV, etc.

In the space of two years, it completely reversed itself. DH and I got married when SD was 10, BM got married a couple months after SD turned 11. With her DH in the picture, BM quit treating SD like she was entitled to be part of the decision-making process. My DH decided to do the right thing and PARENT - and oh boy, wasn't there a huge tantrum over THAT? It took about a year and a half after BM got married, but SD turned into a polite, respectful, high-grade-earning, teenager. She's now almost 15 (January) and is a joy to be around.

The problem is, both parents have to actually parent. There's also a lot of distance between us, so there's not any daily/weekly/monthly friction with BM. I've talked to BM a grand total of less than 10 times in 4 years.

Now SD14 is talking about moving in with us after her sophomore year of high school. Who knows, in two years I might be on here venting about a lazy 16-yr-old. Goodness knows, there'll be enough drama getting to that point.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 11:29am

I don't see this happening for me because BM is very rarely in the picture and BF is completely oblivious to what he is doing to his daughter. Something really bad would have to happen and then I'm not sure that would change things. Thank you for your inspiring story though! Smile

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 11:25am

Yeah I see it getting completely out of control...actually it already is

pastepmomof3's picture

Submitted by pastepmomof3 on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 12:21pm

There is hope I think - once you get BF to realize the err of his ways. This will be difficult but you may need to sit down with him and discuss your concerns and potential ways to address and deal with her actions. He is enabling her and this behavior by not saying anything so the sooner, the better.