The way we do things
I just did my very short intro, I'd like to blog a little more about my personal life.
Like I said, SK comes to see us every weekend. We've had our ups and downs but mostly, things have been up. I like to attribute that to the work that DH and I put in to my relationship with SK.
BM used to drive me a little nuts but I operate under the idea that she doesn't really exist for me. I have spoken to her on the phone and through e-mail, I've met her in person. But all those times were because I *wanted* to, not because I felt like I had to.
I've made things easy for myself. DH knows that if SK is there on a Saturday and I've had enough "family time", I will pick up a phone, call a girlfriend and go out for dinner/drinks/movie/walk/beach or whatever I want. I find this helps me enjoy SK as I don't feel like I have to always be playing a role with her.
From doing things this way, our family has evolved. I do not mind getting up early with SK to let DH sleep, DH does not mind telling SK to be quiet so I can sleep, There is a natural ease that we have created in our home that only the three of us can take credit for. We are open and honest with each other (except money and legal issues with SK -- DH feels she's to young to understand that stuff and thankfully her mother agrees).
Just because we have created this home, does not mean that crap doesn't hit the fan once in a while lol Just last week, BM sent an e-mail that as soon as I had read it, I knew my blood pressure had gone through the roof. I could feel my face getting hot. I try not to get wrapped up in that kind of stuff but it does still happen.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I wanted to give you all a glimpse of *me* and this seemed like a good starting point.
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Comments
It is a good place to start.
It is a good place to start. The home that you & your DH have created sounds like the one DH & I had with SS. It was comfortable for us. Of course, as BM began realizing it was comfortable for us, she made it her mission to introduce chaos. It sounds like the BM in your situation is somewhat inline with you & your DH..? It is easy to get wrapped up in things...definitely easier to get wrapped up in them than it is to ignore them sometimes.
I hope you feel at home here. Glad you're here. 
I don't know if my opinion on
I don't know if my opinion on this is correct but I *feel* that as long as BM has control -- the ability to say yes or no-- that she's happy. The recent times where there have been issues had everything to do with DH (or me or my family or DH's family) doing something or saying something that BM didn't like.
I believe that control is the
I believe that control is the issue with our BM as well. Her need to control is what has created the problems we have with my DH's kids. It's funny, though, because anytime DH would try to be a father & enforce his visitation she would accuse him of trying to control her. He dropped their CS case to keep her out of jail when he had the kids, & she told him & the kids that dropping the case & keeping her out of jail was him trying to control her. How??? I have not a clue. The way most would look at it is that he'd have more control with her tail locked up. Our BM is manipulative, but I gotta admit...she's got a knack for it. LOL!
What is it with these BMs and
What is it with these BMs and accusations of our DHs trying to control them? Our BM has accused DH from day 1 of their separation of control and even abuse. You need to get the kids on time? Drop the kids on time? Take care of their homework, doc appointments when they are with you? It's all answered by 'you don't control me anymore!' As if he ever did! She's the one who cried when he'd go out with friends, even occasionally. Or would get freakishly jealous if he'd wear cologne. He dropped friends, stopped his hobbies, yet HE controlled HER.
Geez.... I feel your frustration.
I think that sounds like a
I think that sounds like a very good balance. No situation is perfect or without it's bad days, so that's no big deal.
Communication is so important and I'm glad you and DH are comfortable with it.
I think your post just made
I think your post just made you lose credibility here.
Sometimes, if you are not having a hard home life in your blended sitch, some posters here feel you don't belong.
*Welcome anyway...your description of picking up the phone and calling a gf works for me as well.
I don't think posting about
I don't think posting about things going well in your home life or blended situation takes away credibility.
It was just an overall introduction. Personally I would rather have people post an introduction, be it good or bad, so we can get an idea of what they're dealing with. Maybe her situation is more good than bad & that's why it came without a load of anger & negtivity. That's not to say that there aren't things she's trying to improve, though.
I don't disagree with you. I
I don't disagree with you. I just think as soon as someone disagrees with a post of hers, she's gonna get the "why are you here" question.
Wow. I wrote this blog over
Wow. I wrote this blog over three weeks ago. I'm surprised it was commented on so much today !! Thanks for the support and comments everyone.