Well what is finally said is said!
Yesterday I had had more then enough of that little bitch and her attitude! I told DH that enough was enough and I had to talk to her myself. Before, I would deal with my kid, he would deal with his but now that she is permanently here, I have to step up cause she is gonna step on my head if she could!
I told her that I had had enough of her attitude and the non respect I get for no reason and she agreed she wasn't being nice. I told her that I wouldn't put up with is anymore that with all I did for her, I get nothing, not even a thank you and that wasn't gonna pass. Told her that I knew the rumors she is spreading about my son (that he's gay at 10!!!) and that she better stop cause there are lots of things we could be saying about her that are true like her stealing and lying all the time to everybody but if my son would do that to her I would also get mad at him cause in this house, respect is #1 rule. Anyways, I went on about things like that and finally told her that my TV that is in her room was coming out and she would get it back when she would be respectful and if she called her grandparents to bring her one that I would call them to take it back and explain the reason! It felt so good to get that off my chest!
I also told my DH that I would never be able to like her after all she has done to me and not expect me to be nice to her anymore that I have tried more then my share and most people wouldn't have put up with it. He agreed and said normally he wouldn't be able to put up with that but he understood and would try to deal with that fact. I also told him that I would never do anything to hurt SD13's feelings or whatever but I wouldn't go out of my way like before to please her. Buying what she wants and making what she wants for supper and making sure she had everything she needed is past history. He can do that as much as I can and obviously has done nothing for me since she still does things like pouring my shampoo and conditioner in the sink.
I slept well last night knowing that the cards were on the table and I would deal with the consequences, even if it meant seperation to be myself and happy again!
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Comments
Wow! I also have a SD13; FT
Wow! I also have a SD13; FT and I wish I could talk like that to her. There are a lot of bitter feelings. I feel disrespected as well. A lot is done for her; her mother chooses to nothing and here I am doing ALL those things for her; and I get nothing in return. The problem I am facing is that I have become bitter towards my BD11 for some reason. It is almost like she TOOK over my SD's attitude. She sees how she treats everyone and STILL gets her way; so I think she figures - she should act the same way!!!!!! It is driving me crazy!!
You should def. be proud of yourself; and my the way - you are lucky to have a hubby that understands were you are coming from; if I were to say anything remotely close to that I would probably be homeless........ Take care!!!!
Wow! I read this and thought
Wow! I read this and thought of something immediately...if I were you i would go on a lunch date with my daughter and well at this lunch date I would explain to her the difference between her and SD. That you are her mother/parent and you are not SD parent and therefore SD was created by two different people that have different attitudes and views, morals, values, etc. And that those values, views, morals etc, are not ones you live by and would not want her to live by. And that you understand it's confusing because it appears there's two different sets of rules and to some extent that's true, but she should continue to follow your rules and standards because it's the path to being a better person.
My daughter is older and lives on her own, but if she didn't and I saw her taking in her SS bad behavior we would have to have a one-on-one!
I'm sorry this is happening to you and her!
I have taken my BS on a date
I have taken my BS on a date already and have explained that to him and he understands but he is also very frustrated with SD since she is threatening him and he is scared of her.
When I explained to him that I had talked to her and that if she ever threatens him again to let me know and we would deal with it, you should have seen the relief in his face! I am so glad that I finally did this and it has lifted so much weight off my shoulders and also helped my son be more relaxed, which he needs!
I think I did the right thing!
Isn't it sad that our bio
Isn't it sad that our bio kids are under so much stress until the SD finally decides to be nice. You can literally see the relief in their eyes when we feel relief of the ignorance. Poor little fellows!
Thanks! I figured I'd take
Thanks! I figured I'd take my chance and rather be homeless then miserable at home!
It has come to a point where I spend less quality time my BS10 because I focus so much on trying to get her to like me and spend time with DH but that's over! Enough is enough!
Good for you. A child would
Good for you. A child would rather a parent make them behave and be a nice person than a parent who is so selfish and doesn't want to be stressed out or have to worry about their kids. You stuck you neck out there and should be commended for it. You didn't have to give a crap about her and let her be a angry and mean. No kids wants to be like that so good again for you for taking the energy to do that.
Thank you so much! I feel
Thank you so much! I feel good about doing it but I was also scared that I was being too much of a bitch but you all made me feel so much better! Thanks!
You will get to the point
You will get to the point where you really don't care how much of a bitch SD thinks you are. It simply won't matter anymore. We expect our own children to tow the line and behave, but the Skids can get away with murder and we are expected to suck it up. NO MORE!!!! It's been almost a month since I put my foot down, I'm sleeping better, not nearly as stressed, and DH and I are getting along much better. His ADULT kids are his mess--he and BM enabled them and now they can't function in society. Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Cry me a river! Maybe, just maybe, if they had boundaries and rules and were forced to behave and act like civilized human beings once in awhile, they wouldn't be as disfunctional as they are!
I am at that point and
I am at that point and thanks! I love the way you think. I've started to think like that and thought I was wrong but nice to hear that someone else is at that point!
It is funny to hear " spend
It is funny to hear " spend less quality time my BS10 because I focus so much on trying to get her to like me and spend time with DH but that's over! Enough is enough!
I feel the same way; just this morning I thought to myself; Why am I so worried about my SD and the choices BD makes for her...? I need to focus on why my relationship with MY daughter is struggling