Well...as you all know-our main issue of late has been SD/SS's failing grades. I have been in contact with teachers for both skids and yesterday, sent out emails to all the teachers that each skid is failing a class in. Monday is parent/teacher conference and the teacher usually sends home a note requesting a conference. Well...knowing how the skids are, I took the lead and sent the teachers an email asking them to contact DH directly to set up the conferences. Earlier this week, we found out that SD lied to us saying that she had taken a certain reading test, and her reading teacher said that she had not. When DH brought this up to SD yesterday (DH is on call this week and so this is the first time we had the ability to confront SD about this). Anyhow...when DH confronted her...she stuck to her story. She just kept saying that she had taken the test. Then, DH spoke to her about using her cell phone late (she had been on her cell texting until 11:30 the last two nights--while at her mothers). She stood there and said that she didn't. I told her to let me see her phone so that I can see what time the last text went out. "It's at my moms". So, I tell her..."Look SD..I go online every day and am able to see everyones usage...phone by phone. And you were texting last night until 11:30." Then she says "I was texting my mom". I had noticed that she had called her mom at about 11:00 (apparently mom had a date), but she was sending texts to a different number. So, I tell her just that "No...you called your mom around 11:00...twice. But you were texting to a different number until 11:30." She still wanted to argue, so I told her that I would be happy to print out what is on my account and she started yelling that she didn't want to look at anything. I told her that this could be solved really easily. Bring the phone home, I will print out what is on my account online and we can compare the times for her texting.

After this, I start getting that feeling of being hot faced, ears ringing and my insides are shaking, so I step into the kitchen to make some tea (is that like an anxiety attack or something?). I hear DH talking to SD about how she will not speak to me that way...and I was proud of him. But, next thing I know SD's in there doing her crying thing and I hear DH consoling her "I know you think I am so mean and it seems like am being hard on you". I had to go outside before I could hear the apology that I knew was coming. I was outside watering the same 2 feet of the backyard, my hands literally shaking and talking to myself. I know I should be proud of DH but, when he goes and consoles SD because she is upset, and she's upset because we aren't "just accepting" her lies anymore-it makes me so angry. So, he is basically consoling her because I am calling her on her lies. When he came outside to me, I told him that I felt like he was throwing me under the bus. The skids already know that I am in contact with their teachers and SD knows that I am the one looking at cell phone use, so even if dad is the one to talk to them, they blame me for it all. I am only trying to hand them a decent life and they can't stand me, but AM can treat them like shit and they adore her.

Oh...and because I was starting to doubt myself (why do I let her do that to me?!) I got online when I got home and rechecked my cell phone account. When I was going back through the list of texts, I notice a incoming text (to SD's cell) for yesterday morning at 6:45 in the morning. It was from her mother. So...apparently, AM went out on a date the night before and didn't come home. I immediately called DH and told him. Yes, the kids are probably old enough to stay home on their own (SDstb14 and SS12), but the main issue is it's 6 weeks testing this week and AM does not make them study (or go to bed at a reasonable time, take showers, etc), and if she wasn't going to be home, the skids should have just stayed at DH's so that he could make sure they did what they needed to do. DH was pissed. He said he guesses he is just going to have to start enforcing the visitation schedule. Because of AM being a nurse with an any shift kind of schedule (also includes the fact that she could be out of town for weeks at a time to work at another location), he has always allowed the skids to stay with her when she wanted them, but he is realizing that they need more structure. He had already put the foot down and insisted that they let me pick them up so that they come home after school...instead of going straight to AM's house. This allows us to make sure homework is done and also makes sure that AM isn't taking them out of class early (AM had a habit of showing up right as the last class of the day was starting, signing the kids out and taking them home.)

UGH!!!!