I started this blog about a month ago. Long story short...Have a SS14, who is very aggressive, has tantrums, gets kicked out of school,, beats the tar of SS9. Been with DH 4 yrs. A year ago, I gave the ultimatum....either get the kid help or move him to BM's , you have a year, and then I'm leaving if you don't. DH is custodial parent.

The school year ended and I reminded DH that he had until August to get SS14 help, he said "Let his mother do it", he took him and SS9 for a 6 week visit to BM's who lives 10hrs away. At the end of 6wks, made the trip up to pick up SS9, saying he was going to leave SS14 with BM, and she could deal with SS14's problems. Ahhhh but what do they say about the best laid plans???? SS14 has a total meltdown when DH tries to leave him, what does DH do? Yeah you guessed it, loads SS14 up in the car, and then calls me when he's about 3hrs from home to 'drop the bomb' on me. I say 'Well DH, you gotta do what you gotta do, but you did not get SS14 help, and the deal was you get him help, or leave him w/BM or I'm leaving. What does DH do? Well he panics, he's afraid to bring SS14 back to the house because he's afraid I'll leave (he's right BTW) What's his solution? He called work and got an emergency week off and hid at MIL's for a week to in his words "reason with me". Well I gotta tell ya, after 4 years of SS14 calling me names, watching him beat the tar out of SS9, and him doing anything he wanted to include punching holes in the walls, and getting suspended from school, guilting Daddy out of cell phones, skateboards and video games, which he sold to friends for pennies on the dollar and then demamded NEW ones.... I had to deal with all this while DH hid behind his 60+ week job ignoring the problem. I am TOAST, can not do another day of it. God help me, I know this is supposed to be a child, and I've been told he is 'suffering' but all I see is Beelzebub. Living under the same roof as Satan, just isn't possible, I don't care how much I love his father.

A week goes by and DH has got to get back to his job, so he leaves SS14 w/MIL for another week and brings SS9 home (he's a good kid). Makes an appointment w/psychiatrist for SS14, for the 17th. Takes another day off to pick SS14 from MIL's and take him to 2 different Psychiatrists (for an initial and a 2nd opinion) they say he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, (I say it's Borderline) DH calls me and says 'Okay I did something...I took him to see a psych..happy now? Oh and by the way, dropped him and all his crap at our house...so what's for dinner?"

Yeah....well, luckily the real estate market has been bad...when DH and I got married, we bought a home together and I rented the home that I had been living in (paid off, and empty right now, thank god). So here I am...I have an inflatable bed, a comfy chair with ottoman and an air card for my laptop. I am on day 2 off my camping expedition...and this sounds really really screwed up...but I'm happy. Seriously. I keep busy all day doing remodel tasks, I eat what I want for dinner, take a hot bath, read, have a couple of cocktails in the evening, take calls from DH who is exhausted...tonights call was 'how do you turn on the dishwasher?' We've lived in that house for almost 3 years...him, Satan and SS9 and NOT ONE of them could turn on the dishwasher... oh and Satan called BM to let her know he's finally driven me out of the house, so BM calls DH and tells him she's moving the 10hrs closer in 2 weeks into our neighborhood in order to help him with the kids...tsk tsk what a shame your wife left you....can't wait until they get to the laundry....

You'd be surprised how comfortable the newer inflatable beds are.....