Well, I suppose I will start with a bit of background. I met my so two years ago this coming October. His two kids seemed normal at the time though the girl a bit mouthy. Soon after I moved in I started to get the whole picture. The bm truly is crazy, and I'm not just saying that because I don't like her. She really is crazy. My so has had joint custody since the divorce but is still paying cs. The bm had it stated in the papers that my so could see the kids when ever he wanted but with prior notice. Well, when the bm learned that me and my so were getting married shit hit the fan. She started out with saying the kids weren't wanting to come over. Then she started with saying they would see him if he would take them somewhere besides here were I was or he could go over to her house to see the kids. I put my foot down and told my so other he will not visit the kids at her house. That she's only doing it so she could see him. I already had her pegged by this point. She didn't want to be married to him but she still wanted him in her life for everything else.

We went through this shit for a year with only getting to see the kids sporadically. During this time I started noticing how withdrawn my sd was and that my ss was more then just a little slow a's everyone would make him out to be. I insisted on getting the kids into Counciling. I also had a full evaluation completed for my ss. This was last summer. The diagnosis came back mental retardation for my ss. After a few months of counciling we started to see some improvements. We also learned how controlling the bm had been with them. Progress was slow because the bm wouldn't like things that the councilor was telling us to do so she was always working against it. She starting also trying to things that gave her more control over what happened in our house. For instance, she took the kids to the dentist and came back demanding that we had to brush ss11, (10 at the time) teeth. Yes, he might be mr but he is perfectly capable of brushing his own teeth. Because the dentist she went to was a horrible one I took them to another dentist. I also got some of those red tablets that tell u how well you brushed. I learned that he didn't even know how to brush his teeth! I had already found out before this that he didn't know how to brush his hair or even how to tie his shoes. This looks bad for my so too. With my sd, things were starting to become more clear. She would literally sit for hours and not move. I told her one day that she needed to go outside and do something, that she didn't need to just sit all day. She literally went outside and stood in one spot for over 3 hours. My so has it in his head that they are just well mannered, that's why they don't talk much etc. 

Shit really hit the fan around thanksgiving last year. Everything had been going ok over all. We were getting to see the kids regularly, against the bm's wishes because the councilor said they need the routine. Oh I forgot to mention that the bm thinks the kids need only her and their dad, literally. That they don't need grandparents or anyone else whatsoever. We didn't get the kids for thanksgiving so they missed out on family dinners. I started feeling like she was up to something because she was really starting to complain about the councilor. The week befor Christmas break, it hit. 

In just a coue days time she took the kids to a new councilor who was wanting to have family sessions, both kids her and my so. When he told her he was willing to give the new councilor a try but not how she was wanting, she got pissed. When he tried to pick up the kids the next evening, she wouldn't let the kids go, claiming she was tired of "forcing" them to go with him. My so, who has a major issue with confrontations and will avoid them at all costs, finally got mad about the shit she was pulling. So she goes up the next day and files a restraining order against us and didn't let them go back to school for the rest of the week. She claimed my so hit her but the judge seen through her crap and only thing he approved on the ro was that we couldn't threaten her. She wasn't allowed to use it to keep him from my so visitation. Of course we got an attorney, but this really screwed up Christmas because we were supposed to have the kids. I think this had a big part to do with it because this would have been the first time my so got to have the kids since they divorced. Our attorney figured out within the first few contacts with her that she was literally crazy. 

After about a month of this either because she relized we were serious or because she was worried she wouldn't the cs, she made a complete 180 degree about face. She was willing to agree to anything if we wouldn't take her to court. We got the divorce papers modified so there is now a set visitation routine listed. Holidays are now set, and the cs got reduced from 400 to 200 since we do have the kids half the time. We have the kids every other week and we exchange the kids at a public location. We do not goto her house and she doesn't come here. We also had it stated that it requires both parents signature to remove the kids from Counciling or at the referral of the councilor herself. That way the bm cant take it upon herself again to pull them away from the one that is actually helping them. 

That all ended in January but I've got this gut feeling that shits going to hit the fan again soon. The woman wastes money like crazy then has no problem with going and asking others for money. She is already teaching my sd this, because of the shit she pulled yesterday. 

With school starting, the normal arrangement has been that they each buy for one of the kids. Well last year she proved that she won't spend a dime on getting the kids school stuff. So we thought this year that we would offer to buy for both the kids and get the school supplies and we would skip the cs for the month. She wanted no part of that and informed us that she was getting both the kids school clothes from the church giveaway and their supplies from the deal going on this weekend that is giving away free supplies. We are still going to get the kids school clothes but they will not be taking any to their moms. 

As for the normal everyday shit when they are here. They stay in their room all day unless my so is home. My ss11 has been treated like a baby so badly since this shit has began he is still acting younger then when I first met him almost 2 years ago. My sd14 still has no mind of her own. Her mom has so much control over her she literally can't think for herself. I'm not exaggerating on this either. If you ask her a simple question like does she want apple or orange juice, she will say she doesn't know. And orange juice is her favorite! My own daughter has been through a lot with all this. I did have her and sd sharing a room but when sd would do things purposely against my daughter, I finally got tired of it and now my daughter has her own room and ss and sd share one. I know it's not the best arrangement but it's better then what they have at their bm's. They dint even have a room there. Their beds are in the dinning room because it's just a one bedroom house and of course bm took the bedroom. 

I think that about covers the background for now. I know I will be back to vent some more.