Everything Irritates Me
My SD has not been a part of our lives for the past 9 years. Then she came into the picture - my doing. You know the right thing to do. So she comes and the world treats her like royalty. Husband and I almost split up over all this and I told her she wasn't allowed back - yeah, I feel really crappy. He says that she is a guest in our house. I say BS, anyone you pay $600 a month and drop at least $100 bucks on "fun stuff" and clothes every other weekend is not a guest. So if she comes back into our lives it involves my husband's mother. Everytime she is over his mother has to spoil her and ugggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! She wants to come back (its time to back to school shop right???)...she contacted me on Facebook. Never her dad always me. I ignored the message and have played dead on facebook so she doesn't know I've seen her message. I dont know what to do.
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The CS is a big issue with me
The CS is a big issue with me because she wears the same clothes everytime she comes over and we feel guilty and buy her new stuff. But really.....$600 a month and the Bio Mom stays at home and stepdad makes mucho dinero. It is weird. She has really expensive taste, but it doesn't look like she gets anything spent on her. I know her home life is bad - Bio Mom's mom (SD's Memaw) has told me plenty. But I dont want her ruining what I have either. I feel morally obligated, but she is technically a stranger to me, but I do have a set of 11 year old twins that dont need the BS that takes place between me and my hubby when she leaves. The last time she stayed over ....I stayed in a hotel.
May I ask why DH wasn't in
May I ask why DH wasn't in SD's life for 9 years? I ask because I think that DH probably feels awful that he didn't see her for 9 years. That could be why he buys her fun stuff all the time.
My SD is almost 16. We had
My SD is almost 16. We had just started dating when she was born. He didn't know anything until CS came up (basically they went out a couple times) and BM had to name the father because she couldn't get assistance.
BM was living with another man when SD was born - and he was dad. and the next man was dad. and the next man was dad. We got her in between dads. The last time we saw SD was when 6 - and it was for their BM and SDads honeymoon. We hear that she was told we deserted her and we were told that she didn't want to see us. We left it alone until I ran into BM's mom....I have always liked her
. She told me the truth and she went behind BM's back and sat up a "visitation".
Things were going well....but then it went South. She has been raised different way and she is very manipulative. Yes, I think he did feel guilty about not being there....even though he wasn't wanted there, he should have fought then we wouldn't have an almost grown stranger in our midst. Believe me.....she plays him. He is dad when she wants something, because the princess act doesn't work with me and otherwise she doesn't call him anything. I also have a daughter that was just married - we got together when she was 2, and we have 11 year old twins together. So what do you think? Other than I am jealous of the special treatment that this child has over our other children - I know that is an issue with me.
I think family counseling is
I think family counseling is in order. I think SD should get individual counseling too.
I know your DH wants to build a relationship with SD, but he's approaching it the wrong way. I think the best way they can start building a relationship is under the guidance of a counselor. That way they can discuss past issues & the counselor can help them move forward.
I think family counseling is in order because of how DH treats SD versus your biokids. That, and SD's behavior, can be addressed and the counselor can help you all find ways to at least get along.
She probably wears crappy
She probably wears crappy clothes to your house to impress upon you how much she needs you to buy her some new clothes.