I am home by myself, husband is at work, it's been so peaceful since SS has been gone. I cleaned the house today and a lot of thoughts popped in my head.The one that struck me the most was I don't miss cleaning the urine up off the floor in the bathroom. I know men dribble and can get stuff on the seat or near the toilet, I'm not talking about the normal dribbling I'm talking about SS out and out pissing on the floor no where near the toilet because he was mad about something. This is something animals do to mark their space. Husband thought it was normal because SS always did this type of stuff when he didn't get his way even before the divorce. What may be "normal" for SS isn't normal and it took a lot for my husband to see that. When we first got married SS and I actually got along good, but at that time I was feeling sorry for him and buying him all the stuff he said his mother didn't buy for him even though she collected a heafty sum in child support. I remember specifically buying him a game for his xbox he said he didn't have and coming home to find out when he cleaned his room he had two copies of the same game and only told me he didn't have it because he couldn't find it. I bought him clothes that he took scissors to and other items he had to have were destroyed. Come to find out he did that to his mother too and thats why she stopped buying him stuff. He'd do it when he decided he wanted New stuff and was told no. He figured if he cut his pants up his parents would be forced to buy new. Well SS and I got along great while I was buying him everything his little heart desired because I was told he was the neglected one and my own kids had stuff and I didn't feel it was fair he went without. SS really needed a good spanking but was never disciplined, hence his problems to this day. He's sharing rent with someone and they are starting to argue about how much a slob SS is. SS told H he wanted to apologize to me and come stay here that he'd be better. H told me this and I said why don't he just be better there and his room mate and him will get along, I don't buy it for a minute that he would change. SS is not allowed here when I'm here period. He's been out of the house long enough that if he comes by he can't say he lives here and I can and will have him removed. H agrees with me and I also told H I didn't want an apology, because I know it's not sincere, SS has pulled this apology thing before and I know SS wants to apologize so he can collect a late birthday money card and in the past this has worked. I'm not going down that road again. All I want SS to do is get on with his life and stay away from me if he can't keep his rage to himself. We have 3 other adult kids who combined haven't caused the problems SS20 has. I know my husband loves his adult kid and I wouldn't expect him not to but even H says that SS20 is finally starting to become somewhat responsible and that letting him come back here would cause problems and stunt his development. I'm so glad my H woke up to how he raised his adult kid and is staying on track. I think a lot of it had to do with Older SS breaking down and telling H about how he felt growing up in the shadow of his younger golden brother.