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I never Steptalk from work, but I am so ticked right now

Last-Wife's picture

Submitted by Last-Wife on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:22am

We have our annual insurance meeting today to find out what our school district plans to offer next year. I gave Loghead all the papers last week so we could talk it over, so I could simply sign the forms today and leave.

Yea, well, procrastination is his middle name... So I called him a few minutes go to ask about it, and said I'd like to to drop my coverage to a lower plan to save money. "Well, we have to add all the kids to your plan since we don't know my job plans yet..."

I asked what that meant for my take-home, and he said, "You'll stil get paid."

YEAH, but I'll be working my ass off to pay for the skids!

Since he lost his job, the skids have been covered by their mother. Gibby has no coverage right now, and I pray every minute he stays safe.

I asked why the skids couldn't stay on Loca Grande's plan and I just add Gibby, and he said no cuz she has a crappy plan.

So?! Why should I have to suffer? I barely have any "play money" as it is! Now I'm gonna have to shell out $300+ more a month?

God! Please find him a job soon.

So I'm venting here, rather than causing an argument. I'm learning to edit what I say to him, and let time pass. Hours from now it might not piss me off, but at this moment, it does.

I'm hoping I can add Gibby and the skids, and then WHEN he gets a job, he can add them to his plan, and I can drop them from mine. I started to send him an email about this, but decided to drop it for now and discuss it later.

So instead, I'm venting to my ST buddies.

Ok, back to work...

Comments

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:26am

I think you are being way too nice here. It is not your problem if he doesn't like their coverage with their mom. I do not think you should have to shell out more money because he lost his job and BM's coverage sucks. THEY need to figure out how to get better coverage. This is not your problem, and by adding his kids you are taking money away from you own son every month.

I just got pissed for you.
____________________________________________________________________

"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:32am

And also, won't the bills come in your name for these kids when they use your insurance? So then you will have the liability of being stuck with the leftover bills in your name as well? Don't think so.

And on top of that, do you have any say over when the kids go to to doctor, or what treatments/ tests/ hospitals they use/are given/go to?

If you have to provide the insurance, I hope you have control over what happens and how it is used as well.

Out of coverage costs are insane, I would hate if BM took the kids to a doctor that was out of network and a bill came in with your name on it.

____________________________________________________________________

"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:28am

I would never cover my DHs kids on my insurance...never...ever...never...ever...his problem, not mine.

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:35am

This is not your problem. And frankly, if you ALLOW him to treat you like this and let his ex-wife skate, then he'll just expect even more next time.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:45am

This is a fight worth fighting. Why should your household suffer because bm doesn't have good coverage. I bet she has the OPTION for better coverage and chose the cheap plan because she doesn't want to give up her money. I would refuse to do this.

"That's how women are, aren't they? We want to know that others have been where we've been, who understand our fragile places, and who see our sunsets in the same shades of blue" - Beth Moore

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 04/23/2010 - 8:58am

delete

step1's picture

Submitted by step1 on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:51am

I know your pain. My husband and I have full custody of my SD12. BM is a jobless waste of life on welfare just so she doesn't have to pay child support or provide for her child ...that she had taken away from her by child protective services for abuse and neglect, by the way. Class act, huh? Hubby has a crap hmo but I have awesome insurance through my work...guess who has medical, vision and dental taken out of her check for SD? My work doesn't allow spouses on our insurance if they can get insurance through their own employer but stepchildren are covered.

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 11:54am

Wow, this sucks. Like everybody else said. It is not your problem.

Yes, it is one household, one teamwork. BLAH BLAH, but why would you pay insurance for HIS kids because he feels that BM's coverage is bad.

That is like doing BM a favor.

:sick:

Sincerely,

G

"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"

nycSM's picture

Submitted by nycSM on Mon, 07/05/2010 - 6:56am

*

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 12:58pm

Last-Wife, I agree with everyone above 100%.

Your DH (Loghead) & the BM (Loca Grande) have OPTIONS here, they are just CHOOSING to use YOUR health insurance because it's the easiest way for THEM. Let BM cover HER OWN children under HER own insurance and let HER & DH figure out who's going to pay for what.

As for BM's health plan being the "crappier" of the two (between yours and hers), too effin bad!! Are you KIDDING me?? Some nerve!! I'm sure she can simply pay a higher monthly premium and switch to have coverage that's just as good as yours (as someone above mentioned). Either way, sounds like both your DH & BM are taking the lazy & cheaper way out.

And the fact that your DH just sat there & played stupid instead of, at the VERY LEAST, OFFERING to pay you the difference that will be deducted from your paycheck for skids' coverage?!? Pffft...forget that. Sounds to me like you're being taken advantage of just a little bit here Last-Wife, IMHO, of course... Not trying to offend here, L-W, I just don't like to sugarcoat when I see a steaming pile of CRAP.

I wouldn't do it. This is defintely one battle worth fighting - not one of those "let it go" topics. Nope.

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 1:03pm

Holy crap! I just went back and re-read your post, and I totally missed that skids' are ALREADY COVERED under Loca Grande's health insurance plan since Loghead lost his job!!

Now I'm even MORE pissed for you. Why on God's green earth would Loghead actually ask YOU to cover skids under YOUR plan (which, in turn, not only causes YOU to foot the bill for the premiums, but also exposes you to the other risks that TheWife raised above - i.e. Loca Grande taking skids to out-of-network drs. & the risk you'd get stuck with the bills, etc...)?? DH has the option to tell BM to get better coverage & pay the difference, or he can COBRA under his former employer's plan (assuming that doesn't have "crappy" coverage) and he can just pay the monthly premiums for skids himself until he gets another job with better health benefits. There are OTHER OPTIONS for them here!!!

I get so mad when I see these wimpy DH's being too "afraid" to rock the boat with these BM's, so they just do it with the SM's because it's easier to piss the SM off than the BM. Grrr!!!

wanted_five's picture

Submitted by wanted_five on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 1:14pm

People treat you how you let them. Wiser words were never spoken. Do not argue with him. Simply do NOT do it. The children are already covered by her plan. She can keep them on it. It simply is not your problem.