Getting ready for my first CPS visit. It also appears that our police visit and CPS calling were two unrelated incidents.
An "anonymous" caller informed CPS that SS5 had "fresh whip marks" on his arms/legs/back that were noticed."WHIP MARKS" apparently by a belt- WOW! Amazing.. because he's either with us, @ camp [where he swims everyday] with his shirt off mind you, or on his EOE weekend with BM.. Hmmm.. anoymous huh?
The police were called as a seperate dispatched call to make a welfare check.. Hmmm.. very interesting..
I have never had so many police rolling up in my driveway, or calls from child services in my life.. and all after getting custody of SS5..
He has only lived with us for a month!
BM is telling them blatant/bold faced lies and the calls always come every other week on her visitation.
They will come and talk to me DH and the kids tomorrow.. Grrrr...
I faxed over the guardian report and our court order to CPS. The lady at CPS was very interested to see that the possible "anonymous" caller had SS5 taken away from her for being neglectful.
I want this crap to END!
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I agree!! She now isn't
I agree!! She now isn't getting CS from hubby but owes him CS.
Isn't getting CS from her Ex as he has her middle son for the summer, doesn't currently have a job and her license is supsended.. Oh yeah.. and her user/loser of a boyfriend left after the well dried up!
Is she BPD----you know they
Is she BPD----you know they have to be "the savior" of their children and then when they aren't they are the "victim." Have had to deal with this kind of BM for almost 9 years now. Have had CPS called 2 times. One funny story when she called the cops---DH was oot and she was "concerned" about me taking care of the child (@9 or 10 at time). We had just done a swap after one of her EOWE visits and cops show up not 2 hours later to check up on the girl. Well SD was running around playing in the yard. Cop just sort of laughed, said they get these kind of calls all the time, usually from BM's (look at the statistics of PASing--usually it is the BM's that do it) and I joked w/him --obviously she is in distress and scared of me and unhappy, isn't she???
Be sure you record every phone call, email, conversation w/BM and what also SS does during time w/you. It is a pain, but it will pay off in any future litigations.
We definitely are, we have
We definitely are, we have him in PEE WEE baseball and he goes to a camp for the next 6 weeks for children with his specific cognitive disability, when we're not doing those things we're at the pool or the park!
The cop that called the first time, didn't come out and just asked what was going on, and told us he was calling as a courtesy, the second cop kind of chuckled after we showed him the court order for change of custody and the guardian report, and just said, just always be truthful, and let her hang herself..
She refuses to pay for 50% of
She refuses to pay for 50% of his expenses as the court order states, his camp costs $2k and his baseball/ soccer etc expenses add up. We are going to pay everything, but I always type a letter with the schedule for his sports for the season, and the paid receipt with the request for her half. We know we'll never get it, but ONCE SHE GETS A JOB [hahaha], we may request a CS modification based on the fact that she refuses to pay for the extra expenses.
She will LOVE that and probably melt the phone trying to call CPS every chance she gets!
YES! She is BP and DH says
YES! She is BP and DH says she takes medication sporadically but not often enough for it to make a difference, he said that when he used to have visitation, before he met me. Every time he would bring him back, she would call saying, he's sick, he has a fever, he's got this on him or that on him, trying to play the roll as if she was a good, caring, compassionate mother..
I do not put it past her to hurt SS to make it look like we did, it. She can't see through her jealousy/anger/resentment and I believe at this deperate point, will stop at NOTHING to get SS back, not because she actually cares about him/ loves him or wants him, but just to spite us.. she always makes the statement "I'M HIS MOTHER!!" Ummm.. RIGHT...
Very typical of a Borderlind
Very typical of a Borderlind Personality Disorder---also one day that want to be all "buddy buddy" with you and the next they are calling you a liar, cheater, beater--etc...
Very hard to live with. I work for a Psychiatrist and group of Counselors, and I know more and can spot it almost as quikly as them due to having a BM who is one, oh but she will tell you that she is not, that it was a misdiagnoses from her having Diabetes really----gotta laught at that one.
BPD and Bipolars can do well on meds to regulate. Problem is, due to their personality disorder, they start to think they can handle on their own, so most go off meds REGULARLY until they get real bad again.
Bingo.. She was on them once
Bingo..
She was on them once knowingly about a year ago, apologized to DH and everything-and BM's mother even said, she's been back on her medication, 2 weeks later she was back at the same B.S. like she never even remembered the apology etc. DH always said that when he was with her, she would take them, then say she didn't need them, she also takes muscle relaxants for her scoliosis, tried to get on ssi disability for it and couldn't, DH says, don't you see the curvature in her spine? I'm like.. Nope! I never looked that close, it's supposed to be "so bad" that she went to pain management classes for it when she was with DH, to help her wean off of the medication..
She spends so much time on he back, I think that's the reason why it hurts!
One more thing I have
One more thing I have forgotten.
BM'S sister is BP
BM's brother is BP and institutionalized for almost killing someone.
BM and brother have the same parents
her older sister, has a different father,
is that proof that it's definitely hereditary?
She will probably continue to
She will probably continue to try to call CPS until they figure out that these calls are all retaliation in nature and have no grounds for concern. Keep being positive and cooperative with CPS...eventually they will stop questioning YOU and can actually charge HER for making accusations that are not "real".
I hope if the calls and bogus
I hope if the calls and bogus crap continue that they are as on their job as they are being with us!
I'm sure BM will continue, I have no doubts.
Hopefully they will turn the tables and charge this psycho instead..
CPS
CPS doesn't care that it's in retaliation. I've had it happen to me. Alcohalic BM got together with SD and SS 3 MONTHS AFTER our original CPS call (BM court ordered not to drink - got drunk again), and I was investigated for severe neglect of my 2 year old son (she said that I was drunk driving with all kids - NEVER). NO worse feeling of betrayal and fear that these PASd kids could have been responsible for having my own child taken from me. I highly recommend all SMs to disengage and to never prompt your DH to call CPS or file for full custody. If HE chooses to do that, then so be it. Never get involved in trying to help SDs if you have a horrible BM like this.