I just don't know what to think

This morning I did laundry and was putting it away in the drawers when I noticed a can of soup :? in my BF underwear drawer. (Yes I said can of soup)I asked him what-up with the can of soup in the underwear drawer...he tells me that his daughter put it there so that no one else would eat it :? :? :? :? Sometimes I wonder if my life is one of those wierd dreams that you can't wake up from...LOL

Since my BF daughter is out from school...she has totally taken over our bedroom and bathroom...her stuff is all over. I think she is marking her territory. It really bothers me...I give up so much to cater to her. The only time that I really have to spend with my BF is when we're alone in out room at night before we go to sleep..it is kind of my sanctuary but now that is gone. And putting her things in her father's underwear drawer...be cool to have a therapist opinion on that one...I can also tell you that if my son put anything in my underwear drawer or was even in there for any reason...I would be mortified...is it just me or would you all feel the same way???

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For one, I don't think she

For one, I don't think she should be allowed to take over your bedroom!!! :jawdrop:

I know exactly how you feel.

I know exactly how you feel. My SD takes over everything when she is here. Uses our bathroom, goes in their to change her cloths instead of doing it in her bedroom. And we have even had issues where my DH has written on things in the pantry that say "SD Name do not eat" Well that one came back to bite DH in the ASS because my 19 year old Son bought a cheesecake and when SD and her friends ate it all he was pissed. Said something outloud about how rude it was. My DH started yelling and stated that anything in this house belongs to everyone. I brought out the box that had been sitting in the pantry for almost 6 months and said REALLY!

Yeah!!! and her going into Dads underware drawer that is over the top. We are adults and might have things in there that little eyes should not see.

You are so so right

You are so so right Crayon.....It is all kinda weird...BF did make her quit sleeping in his bed when I moved in and now he feels bad about it so he lets her do what ever she wants in there other than sleeping in there..it is absolutely ridiculous. It is almost like he likes her to be in there...he was laughing about the soup can thing...that isn't really funny...it is disturbing.OMG...I just don't know what to do.

Agreed

Agreed Bettina....Agreed...That is great about what happened with the cheesecake!

Crayon... I totally agree!

Crayon... I totally agree! DH still lets SD5 get in our bed sometimes even if it's just while he's in the bathroom getting ready. She also uses our bathroom to brush her teeth (if she brushes her teeth). She will even bring her clothes into our bedroom for school and change while leaving her dirty pajamas on my bedroom floor!

I do think that the parental bedroom/bathroom should be off limits. Unfortunately, when daddy has a princess, you're often going to lose these battles. This has just become a fight that has not been worth it for me. All it does is create a barrier between DH and me. And the LAST thing I want to do is push him closer to her!

If you're DH is somewhat reasonable, then try to talk to him. If he's anything like mine though, when it comes to his princess, she can do no wrong and I end up looking like the bad guy.

I don’t think it is

I don’t think it is disturbing, I think she is just a kid and is doing what she is allowed to get away with. Does she have here own room?

I absolutely hated it when skid used my bathroom even after told not to by DH. The last time I caught skid coming out of our bathroom, I told DH that he better REALLY put his foot down or I was going to start really leaving my personal stuff all over our bathroom.

Like, how about I leave a vibrator on my make up table? Or how about tampons and pads all over the bathroom counter. And I could get really gross, so I told DH to make the boy stop or I would start doing all of the above and more. It is my personal private place and kids/skids have no place in there. He put a stop to it then. Lol

This is a hill I would fight on.

Yes mam..she has her own room

Yes mam..she has her own room complete with: computer (she doesn't use it..has to use dad's laptop), Wii (rarely played), TV/satelite, DVD player (says it doen't work but it is fine), beautiful oak twins beds with soft, silky matching quilts, painted the color she wants, beautifully redone bathroom (tooting my own horn..LOL)She never wants to be in her room (doesn't sleep in there, she sleeps next day at her grandma's house) and refuses to use the bathroom that is next to her room.

you said it...when daddy has

you said it...when daddy has a Princess all battles are lost and I always look like the bad guy until it bites him in the ass one day and then sometimes it doesn't wake them up.

I know how you feel. At one

I know how you feel. At one point my SS (22 or 23 at the time and living with us temporarily) put his name and "do not touch" on some food in the 'fridge. I flipped out. It's not like HE bought the food. DH had one of a very few come to jesus conversations with him and that was that.

Lol mermaid I do the same

Lol mermaid I do the same thing! If I don't have a secret stash of my favorites everyone else will eat them all before I even get any. It isn't an eating disorder, it is a symptom of living in a crowded house with people who like similar foods!

Guess it's a good thing it

Guess it's a good thing it isn't just up to you to diagnose and judge then.

She sounds like a typical kid that is hiding something because she doesn't want to share. Pretty typical kid behavior not to blown in to something it totally isn't.

yes it does sound typical.

yes it does sound typical. The daughter obviously already feels that Daddy's bedroom is hers as well. The drawer might have been the first one she openend, who knows...but quite frankly I am not going to even try to explain my point of view to you Steperg because you and your jaded views would never be able to accept something other than your own opinion.

I think the biggest problem

I think the biggest problem is the freedom she seems to feel. She should be making herself at home in your bedroom...especially in her dad's underwear drawer. Also, if it isn't her money going to pay for the food in your home, she has no right to lay personal claims on any it or hide it from anybody else.

I would think if it were some kind of eating disorder, it'd be cookies, candy, chips she'd be hiding. Not soup.

lol...nomi...I know it is

lol...nomi...I know it is craziness...

She eats very little...she is

She eats very little...she is underweight for her age (57-60 lbs@10 yr old)...almost to the point that she looks ill. She never eats a regular meal with the rest of us...she is allowed to eat other things (candy, chips, snacks) anytime she wants, anywhere she wants. The thing is...she hides "her" food from others but doesn't eat it(unless it is candy)she hoards food too...for example...her father buys her junk everytime he picks her up from school and she has a collection of either new or barely eaten chips and candy I bet that would fill a 20 gallon trash bag...seriously. She is allowed to eat when and what she eats...she never eats anything nutritious. I think she wanted the soup because I had dental surgery Thursday and BF took her with him to go get me some soup to eat and she got that one when he got me my soup. I guarantee that she will never eat that soup..it will sit it its new home forever in the cabinet where the other soup is.
"Claiming" food in a home where there are other people is ridiculous. She owns that place and she knows it and she wants everyone to know it. It is getting worse too...but one thing...she has a friend now and she spends a lot of time with her and she is a positive influence..that is good.

I'll be honest. I used to

I'll be honest. I used to hide chocolate chips under the bathroom sink. It wasn't a secret long...only until my mom saw the chocolate around my mouth & smelled it on my breath when I came out of the bathroom.

It wasn't due to an eating disorder. I just did it because I wanted to have them for me.

I don't think it's abnormal for kids to want to keep things for themselves. Just because it's normal doesn't make it right, & doesn't mean something shouldn't be said.

Sadly...there are no

Sadly...there are no boundaries..she does whatever she pleases...I'm gonna preach Crayon's sermon..the problem it is all about that Adult Status that children are given. She has the power and she uses it.

If I want a special snack...I

If I want a special snack...I keep it at work...LOL It is rude to have tell people that they are not allowed to eat your food.

Or instead of making things

Or instead of making things up & lying about the situation, they could just tell her it's unacceptable & that it needs to stop.

I have been fighting with

I have been fighting with insects ever since I moved in....they are so terrible...I have it under control but it is a constant battle. When BM lived there she must not have cleaned enough or tried to get rid of the bugs at all...nasty

Yes, agree with Crayon. She

Yes, agree with Crayon.

She is just acting up and marking her territory. Time to let her know who are the adults and who are the kids and where the boundaries are.

I hope that you have better luck with that than I did!

One idea - let her know when you are buying groceries and that a few of her favs are on the list. Disclaimer: this could backfire if she tries to dictate what you buy.

Definately...honestly she

Definately...honestly she isn't disciplined enough to really have an organized place to hide things. Look in our vehicles...look on the floor behind the chair...look outside..that is where all most of her stuff is...unless it is refrigerated.

That is a good idea glynne

WOW! i guess i have it good

WOW! i guess i have it good in this department....

skids wouldn't even think about entering my bedroom or bathroom... they may think about it, but i don't think either is brave enough to attempt it.

they have a room and the guest bath is for them to use..... i even put all of their toiletries in a cube and it goes under the sink when skids aren't here and sits neatly on the counter when they are here. Anything left laying around outside of their bedroom goes directly in the garbage.

far cry from how they live with bm, but i made it clear a long time ago that i don't care how they live at home with bm, but when they are in my home this is the way we do things.

i don't get too many problems, except how their nasty asses can't flush a fucking toilet --- really?

oh yeah, dh underwear drawer?? soup?? i can see hiding candy in my own u/w drawer.... that kid sounds nuttier than squirrel shit!

My Favorite is "We are gonna have a come to Jesus Meeting"