Passport Drama
We've got a trip booked for summer holidays. It's been booked since February.
The skids don't have passports. Last week in court BM agreed to sign for passports. SO gave her the forms and asked her to return them signed on Friday when we picked up the skids. Of course she didn't. He even emailed her to remind her but she didn't acknowledge the email at all.
so, on the weekend we went and got everything done again, copies of birth certs, passport forms, photos, police signature on the photos, police witness on SO's signature. The only thing left to do is get the police to witness her signature. SO emailed and told her he was willing to meet her at any police station at any time convenient to her so she could sign the forms. She replied that he should post the forms, the photos, the birth certs and the fees for the passports to her. Right, like we'd trust her to actually get it done! I don't think so. SO replied and told her that time was short so he doesn't want the forms out of his sight and asked again that she meet him, at a time and place of her convenience, to sign the forms. She replied that he was 'bullying her' and that he should just send them to her.
Excuse me, who is being the bully here? We have travel plans - she doesn't. We paid for the copies of the birth certs, we ran around TWICE to get the photos and get them signed, we paid for the photos TWICE, we are paying the passport application fees and she thinks we are stupid enough to hand it all over to her so she can either throw it all in the trash or change the address on the forms so SHE gets the passports and then she can extort things from us if we want them to travel when the time comes?
Does she think we've learned nothing about how sneaky and devious she is?
I swear some of these women really make me ashamed to be female.
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Comments
Tell her that's fine. We will
Tell her that's fine. We will travel without them... she will have the kids for the holiday period and can explain to them why they are at home.
OH, she'd LOVE that. She
OH, she'd LOVE that.
She doesn't want them to come with us at all.
She's eaten alive with jealousy. She's very insecure and keeps her kids totally dependent on her. If they show any independence at all she sees that as a threat to her role and she raises hell if I braid their hair of do anything else. It's pathetic really.
Usually if she knows we are going to do something with them the next week she does it with them the week before. She's done that several times. I suspect that she's used up all her vacation already though so won't be able to pre-empt us on this holiday.
I feel so sorry for u two.
I feel so sorry for u two. She's a bit$&. Why don't ur H show up at her house with the police that will force her to sign it. Just explain it to tell police tell the police it's a stand by to keep the peace. They should if u don't live in a busy town. Good luck sometime I pray that my SK BM would be hit by a car. I know that's sad. But sometimes she's a bit&@.
Good luck.
Our BM sat on the forms for 2
Our BM sat on the forms for 2 months without any acknowledgment, even after a few "friendly reminders". Eventually, I lost patience and asked SD17 what was going on with the forms (oh, yes, she was aware of it) and when she gave me yet another lame "dunno", I said something to the effect that I didn't see how they would be able to go on our vaca after all due to the witheld passport forms. She got on the phone immediately (obviously) and grilled the mommy dearest. I know that b/c I received a nasty nasty email within minutes of that conversation saying that we should not use kids as messengers (something she does non-stop and 17yr old is hardly a kid)and if we needed something just call her yadayadayada. Yeah you b!tch, we needed something and you know it.
Anyway, she proceeded to blackmail us with those forms - she would only give them to us in exchange for something totally unecessary, enane and idiotic. Yet another form of her favorite - power-play.
We complied.
She finally released the forms but it was too late so we had to pay the expedite fee to get them in time for our trip. She laughed us off when we said she was responsible for the fee.
She wins.
If the kids hadn't gone, she would have been just fine with it. She just doesn't care. She cares about TWO things:1)herself and 2)how to continue punishing my DH for leaving her years ago.
We just got her answer to his
We just got her answer to his motion for divorce.
In this country you have to be separated 5 years before you can file for divorce and they've been separated since September 2004. I came to this country in August of 2005 and we got together in January 2006. In her divorce papers she's claiming adultery, saying they'd have gotten back together if he hadn't entered into another relationship during the marriage! She's asking for alimony - fat chance b*tch! During the separation agreement she got his retirement signed over to 'the children of the marriage'. In his divorce papers he asked for that to be changed to include our child. She's fighting it. She's also WAY overvalued some gold he gave me to hold in trust for our child on the day our child was born (to make up for the retirement being only for her kids) and is asking for the trust to be broken and the gold to be handed over to her.
She's a classic narcissist. I mean she ticks every box. There is not an ounce of empathy in her. She makes a HUGE drama out of every tiny little thing then stands back and whines about what a poor victim she is. She lies constantly, even when there are mountains of proof that she's lying. She creates scenes on the street and then writes emails describing them as if they happened a completely different way. It's so bad that I've been videotaping the hand overs for a while now.
Nothing would suit her better than for the kids to not go to euro disney with us. She'd fill them full of lies about how we didn't want them to go.
response to SMofKowitall: I
response to SMofKowitall:
I think you might not have some of the story clear
PA's SO and soon to be Ex had a seperation agreement drawn before PA came in the picture. His children with EX would be sole beneficiary of the retirement fund. PA and SO had a child in the interm, SO wants to change the beneficiary status to include his children with soon to be EX and Baby Apple. His soon to be Ex is fighting that, not wanting to allow additional beneficiary to be added.
PA's SO put some gold in a trust for Baby Apple since he could not make her Beneficiary on retirement fund, soon to be EX wants some of that gold too! It's all her, the soon to be EX being greedy.
Is that right Poison Apples?
That's basically it hennypen,
That's basically it hennypen, thanks.
No. There is no 'money in
No.
There is no 'money in lieu' of anything.
The retirement is signed over to just her 2 children. He wants it to include our child to get 1/3 share. That is fair - surely by anyone's standard.
The gold was worth about 6K when he gave it to me. It's worth a little more now. He gave that to me for our child because the BM was taking everything else he had - She had already gotten 150K extra cash for her kids, the 6K for ours was a drop in the bucket compared to that. The BM wasn't happy though, she wants EVERYTHING.
I guess I don't understand
I guess I don't understand how a father wanting to be able to include all his children in his retirement benefits as being greedy.
Sorry, how is it 'greedy' for
Sorry, how is it 'greedy' for him to want ALL 3 of his children to get an equal share?
His ex wants 100% of it with our child getting nothing. My SO wants ALL of his children to be treated equally.
Where is the greed?
Forget asking her to help
Forget asking her to help with the passports, go straight to court and get a court order to bypass her signature. Ring/visit your local district court clerk in the morning and they will help you with the forms. Because you are travelling you should be able to get a quick date. The children are entitled to a holiday and that is probably how the judge will see it. Another strike against her. Silly woman.
Also, pay very little attention to the divorce papers. She is trying to wind you up. Your child is equal in law to their children and will be given as much consideration. If you change the pension arrangements to include your child, you may have to give her a share of the gold. But that won't be a problem if the share of the pension is worth more than the gold.
I know it doesn't feel like it but emotions really don't come into negotiating divorce settlements. If you let her get to you, she's already won. You can't control her so don't even try. It's all about the end goal which is to take care of all the children fairly and get her out of your lives. The more rational you appear & the fairer to the children and the more emotional and irrational she is, makes you look good and hopefully nudges the judge in your favour.