A message to all my ST friends -- protect yourself!

Hi, everyone:

I just wanted to check in with you all after reading the blog by BMJen "Someone Contacted BM and told her all about ST."

It seems that this person has been identified, and may be exposed/revealed soon. Once this happens, I can't imagine any other course of action than that he/she will have to be permanently removed from the site by Admin.

If this happens, I think there will be a very angry, and clearly unstable, person out there with a vendetta against StepTalk.

Many of you (me included) have friends on here that we have also become friends with on Facebook (which is where this member got information about how to contact BMJen's BM). I suggest that you take some time right now to think about any information that you have revealed on social networking sites like FB, and any information you've revealed to ST friends. Please take measures to remove information that can incriminate you and/or to restrict information that any of your friends on ST have access to.

Remember that it's very likely this person is someone that some or many of you currently trust. But it's clear that that trust has been violated. Whoever exposed Jen to her BM exposed ALL of us. That means that NONE of us is safe from further retaliation, especially if/when this person is removed and decides to take revenge on us and/or the site.

Please protect yourselves. Hope you're all doing well.

belleboudeuse's blog

Comments

Already done, Belle. Thank

Already done, Belle. Thank you.

you aint kidding. This was

you aint kidding. This was just out there.

I will expect that Dawn/Admin

I will expect that Dawn/Admin will be swift with removing this individual from ST to protect the privacy of all of us....if this is not done, then I would implore all those who are NOT friendly with their BM to stop posting immediately....

Nice reminder Belle. I have

Nice reminder Belle. I have wondered about this a lot and I have had members ask me very personal questions, which I did not go into.

I think we should support each other, but keep our cards a little close to the vest until you really really know someone.

I think just as we sometimes get internet balls and treat others differently than we would in person, I sometimes think we trust people easier than we would in person... we give away more of ourselves because we think it's safe.

It's obviously not.

Sad.

I agree, Stick. Since we all

I agree, Stick. Since we all have one thing in common, it's easy to suppose on here that everyone has one another's back. But let's face it: statistically, there are probably as many dangerous or crazy people on here as there are anywhere else. It's easy to assume a lot here, since we have so little to go on. Personally, I couldn't do what this person has done to my worst enemy. But it's not safe to assume that everyone else feels the same.

You have me blocked Stick so

You have me blocked Stick so I can't PM you and tell you who it is.

Wow. This has been brewing

Wow. This has been brewing for awhile now but I never thought it would go this far. Pathetic and sad.

I have worried about this

I have worried about this too. But my blogs are not worrisome to me anymore given the circumstances I am careful to only write from the heart and not anything that can come back to bite me. Stinks of course. But I am not in need of the site in the same way now that my H took his daughter and moved out.

I'm sorry that happened to Jen. I can't imagine compromising anyone's anonymity that way from here. Though...I have worried about it, especially when there are heated arguments. A lot of people I don't know well know a lot about me. But fortunately, nothing has gone awry that way for most of us here.

You know what Sita....no

You know what Sita....no matter what someone did to me I would never do THAT. But now the gloves are off.....she's been warned on my blog. LET IT HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE AT ALL and it'll be her demise. I have her BM's address, and phone number. I won't call her though. I will make the trip from GA to KY to see her in person and tell her all about her little friend.

I posted this once and it was

I posted this once and it was deleted so let me try again........ I will be more than glad to accompany you on your trip Jen. This is lower than low and I can be a real f'ing bitch when I need to be and my gloves are OFF.

Chick, you know who I am too, you wanna come after me now too? Come on, I f'ing DARE YOU.

That's how I am to

That's how I am to Wicked.

She may be seeing you and I soon. And she won't like that visit I don't think.

There is proof.

Dude it's true. I HAVE

Dude it's true. I HAVE PROOF!!!!!!!!

Sadly, yes, DPW. Much as I

Sadly, yes, DPW. Much as I hate to.

Actually, I completely agree

Actually, I completely agree with you. There's been a lot of stupid shit on this website in the last couple of months. I have tried as hard as I can not to get involved with it. And you realize, from reading my blog, that I'm not saying at all that I have any idea who it is. And maybe this never happened, and maybe Jen is completely making it up, or maybe she thinks it's someone who didn't do it. I have no idea. If there's no proof, then yes, it's just a witch hunt -- but then, I wouldn't think that there'd be any fallout, because Admin would have no reason to act, and no one has been named. This, like all the other bullshit drama of the last month or so, will die down eventually.

But if there is proof, then the proof will come out. What I am saying here is that it sounds like there's a good possibility that we have someone here with a vendetta. And that affects all of us. So we all need to protect ourselves, in the event that it is real.

As for the rest -- time will tell.

Ladies.. look... let's

Ladies.. look... let's remember something really important here. If it's true.. and Jen says she has proof... let's step back for a moment and think.

Is this person being an ass ? Or are they at the point where they have finally broke? Has the stress of personal life , step life and silly ST drama driven someone to doing something wayyyyyyyyyy out of line?

The other night... I did something that I am now ashamed of. I understand my hurt, I can justify it all I want. I acted out of character.

I am concerned that if this is true.... making this person out to be a villain ... well, sure it gives us some sense of relief... but it also pushes them closer to an edge.

Now.. more than ever.. I want to remind people about Dani.

Stick, there is no excuse for

Stick, there is no excuse for EVER doing something like this. If I weren't in the place with BM that I am at this could have ruined my life, and I could be Dani. KWIM?

There's no excuse. I don't care how far down she's gone, this is just to much to be excused.

And the worst part, she's been gloating about it all day.

That's exactly right Jen...

That's exactly right Jen... If it went poorly for you, or you were at a different place... YOU could have been Dani. And now this person..... well, we just don't know how close to being Dani they are. That's all I am saying.

No, there is NO excuse. I haven't seen gloating.... but I don't know where to look! ha!

But yeah... either way... it's just bad. The question I have now for you Jen.. and I know you will appreciate this one... is how far do you want to push someone? Do you want to be the better, bigger person and handle it thru Dawn . You have all of the site's support. And everyone has been duly warned.

If you can ask some... ... and I am ASKING some people... PLEASE stop the attacks on who you think it is. Because we don't know if they are at Dani's point. Thank God Jen... You are not...

Hugs girl. It sucks. And I would be pissed too. But now I am frightened.

Interesting point, Stick.

The thing is, this person has compromised the safety of everyone on ST. Is it "making this person out to be a villain"? Or is it expecting a minimum of decorum and respect?

Personally, if this person were to contact people in my life, it's not so much the BM I would worry about. It would be the relationship I have with my stepdaughters. If this person took it upon him- or herself to give my stepdaughters information about my membership at ST, they would probably both turn against me because of things I've written about their mother.

I'm sorry. I do understand what you're saying. But for God's sake. Are you asking me to respect the feelings of someone who has just shown that he or she is capable of betraying any and all of us? And ruining what I personally have worked so hard to build, for the sake of my stepdaughters and my husband?

I did not make this person out to be a villain. This person did that all by him or herself.

I'm not saying that Belle.

I'm not saying that Belle. And you are right... they did something that brings them some shame and some real harsh repercussions.

But... if they lose it... if they do something to harm themselves, or self-destruct with a breakdown because of this... then what?

It's okay because they started it?

*

Hm. So, if they might lose

Hm.

So, if they might lose it, we shouldn't call them out on it?

What if one of the people this person targets loses it? THEN can we call them out?

What if the person who instigated it, AND the person who is targeted, lose it?

This person has the potential to affect many people's lives.

I do see what you're saying. I'm trying to be on your side here. But I'm looking at one person who is wilfully f'ing with others, vs. many dozens of people who are here and have exposed themselves.

I don't think that asking that, if there's ACTUALLY PROOF (incontrovertible proof), this person be banned, is too much to ask.

And that I agree with....

And that I agree with.... with the incontrovertible proof... that person be banned. I completely agree with that. And I thought I stated that.

In the meantime... we let Jen take care of this with Admin. Everyone here is scared... me among them. And not for all fo the reasons you may think.

I am worried that whomever it is could hurt themselves.

I am worried that there is a possibility the wrong person could be called out here. (Mistakes happen).

I am worried that this is dividing us.

I am worried that this is stifling us.

I agree. I worry, too, that

I agree. I worry, too, that this is hurting all of us.

And I am waiting for incontrovertible proof -- proof that can't be denied.

Until then, the point of this blog is that people need to protect themselves, just in case.

Belle... what if... just what

Belle... what if... just what if... the proof shows that it is not who everyone thinks it is. ?
then what?

Then we will know the truth.

Then we will know the truth. And that is a good thing.

Is this person being an ass?

Is this person being an ass? FUCK YES SHE IS.

SHE is the one that has let this go on for a month and not put her big girl panties on to deal with it. SHE has done this, not stress, not everyday life. SHE has done this. Sorry Stick, but you're wrong on this one. There is NO understanding of something like this. I don't care if your situation has beaten you down to the point of being put in a rubber room - NO ONE deserves this.

NO ONE deserves this... but

NO ONE deserves this... but Jen.... she didn't hurt you! Whomever did this did NOT get the intended reaction / result! So you win! So there you go!

I understand you are hurt. I understand you are angry. Everyone else is angry too.

You want her booted off the site and when you provide the proof to admin / Dawn, I am sure they will accept it and take the appropriate steps.

All I am asking you Jen is to do what you yourself, and me, and so many others of us that post similar - do with BM's in our lives every day. We make them human. We give their pain a face and a reason. We don't excuse it, but we try to empathize with it, so it doesn't rule us. Don't let this rule you.

Whomever called your BM lost. You and your BM had a good laugh about it, right? And again, everyone on here is warned and leary.

I guess I just want to ask you... where do you want this to go? Publicly?

Publicly, I want to make sure

Publicly, I want to make sure she knows that I know it was her.

And if she does it to any of my friends I'll do the same in return. That's about it.

It's really sad that someone

It's really sad that someone felt the need to do that. I thought this was a place to come and vent. Just because you might say some nasty things in the heat of the moment...doesn't mean you would actually carry threw with them. I tell DH all the time how I am going to kill him in his sleep and dispose of his body where no one will find it. Would I really do that??? MUAHAHAHAHAHA! }:)

Let me make this very

Let me make this very clear.

BM gave me the number from her caller ID at work.

I called the number.

It was her.

I heard her voice AND her name on her Voice mail.

Enough?

I posted this once and it was

Chick, you know who I am too, you wanna come after me now too? Come on, I f'ing DARE YOU.

»
replyFlag as offensive
That's how I am to
Submitted by BMJen on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 7:47pm.
That's how I am to Wicked.

She may be seeing you and I soon. And she won't like that visit I don't think.

This is terroristic threatening ladies. seriously

How so? We didn't mention

How so? We didn't mention names...

and PS honey bunny, what your little buddy did is also against the law. We've got warrants..........tell her to go ahead and turn herself in.

Not to mention BMJen's DH is

Not to mention BMJen's DH is a cop. Way to fuck with the WRONG person.

Right, no names because

Right, no names because everyone here is sooooooooooooooo stupid to not figure out who you are talking about

Well, seems I've stooped to a

Well, seems I've stooped to a level by participating in this online lynching.

But I have as of yet to receive a response to a question I am so sure is ridiculous, but oh wait because it could definitively prove someone here right or wrong? Since you are projecting "little buddy" status on me here how about checking your "proof" with me or anyone else you have deemed is connected to the said "guilty" party?

*

OK now you've made me mad (oh

OK now you've made me mad (oh yes woohoo it up with your buddies) this is twice I've been dumped on because all of you are great at jumping to conclusions? shoot first ask questions later? until someone else here calls the number....well figure it out. AND it is terroristic threatening to basically say "I'm gonna get you" and "we know where you live"

People here have said worse

People here have said worse about their BM's and Skids!

anyone who wants the number

anyone who wants the number just let me know!

I wish crazy witch knew about

I wish crazy witch knew about ST...I'd tell her where to go!
argh!

Look ladies..this nice blog

Look ladies..this nice blog has deteriorated into something that Dawn and Admin are going to flag and edit the sh*t out of! ha!

Let's just take it down a notch. I tried to edit my last comments and couldn't. Belle - feel free.

This is crazy.

Jen - you got your wish... Everyone thinks they know who this is.

Belle - you made your point. Everyone is scared, warned and wary.

Dawn / Admin - I truly hope that you take these allegations seriously and demand real incontovertible proof - cell phone logs, statements, whatever it takes. I know you don't have that kind of time and I don't know if you would even consider finding a few people of somewhat middle sensibilities to undertake the task... (Belle, DPW, Sita, CG, Lotus)... People that truly want what is best for the site and the members that can put aside their own allegiances.

Sorry this got this way... UGH

Stick, let me know what you

Stick, let me know what you would like me to edit/delete of your comments, and I will do so.

Hey does anyone know why when

Hey does anyone know why when I try to edit one of my own replies I cannot?

My guess is that this is one

My guess is that this is one of the unintended consequences of the changes -- maybe when Admin gave the blog poster control of their own blog, it removed the ability of the responder to edit her/his comments.

Let me know what you want to change or remove, and I will do it.

Where I got into it with

Where I got into it with Jezebel... she's not worth it. I would appreciate it if you could remove her harangue against me... swearing and calling me a bleeding heart liberal bitch too, but if you don't - c'est la vie!

But yeah, I'm over getting sucked in. Thanks!

Ugh. So here is where I

Ugh. So here is where I don't know what to do.

On principle, I am against deleting posts not at the request of the author. I would be happy to delete something that you said that you regret, Stick. Deleting someone else's asshole comments when they don't ask me to -- I sort of feel like that's Admin's job.

But I am going to delete those comments, because they detract from the point of my blog, which was that I want people to be cautious and protect themselves.

Mine completely went astray,

Mine completely went astray, please feel free to delete those as well.

WSM, I am not going to delete

WSM, I am not going to delete comments at random. I am doing it for Stick as a one time courtesy. Beyond that, it is Admin's job to delete what he feels is wrong.

No worries... Just putting it

No worries... Just putting it out there you were welcome to with no hard feelings from me for going off topic.

I appreciate it Belle, but I

I appreciate it Belle, but I would have understood if you didn't delete hers. Because really ... we all know... that kind of stuff shows just as much about the poster as the responder. And the heat of the moment!

OMG...what happened to the

OMG...what happened to the other blog?..in any event...if Jen has proof then she has proof and this person should be banned...this is unacceptable...I fight for privacy for my family every day...I think we all do...we are supposed to be a sisterhood of SMs and Stepfamilies..one does not betray one of its own no matter WHAT kind of bs is going on....if one does then they are to be banished...jmo...there is NO justfication or sympathy for someone who would do this to one of us...there are lines in life that we do not cross and this was one of them....I say with proof is conviction and with conviction is sentencing....the sentence here being banishment...plain and simple,,,short and sweet...betrayal when it comes to our step situations by one of our own cannot be tolerated...I know I can't be part of something that doesn't take this stance...

As I said on the other blog,

As I said on the other blog, I think one of the worst things that could happen is people not wanting to post for fear of this type of retaliation. I know I won't be posting anything too personal anytime soon if I even dare post at all. I'd rather deal with my fucked up situations on my own than risk making them worse. And right now, that's how I feel; like posting is a risk. Like I said though, I still have hope that ST can turn back to what it was: a support system. Ugh.

You are here

A message to all my ST friends -- protect yourself!

Comments