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Step Daughter/ Step Mother

MsMaddy's picture

I am a mother of a 9 year old son, a 18 month old daughter, and a step mom to a 15 year old girl. I have known this girl since she was 4 years old when I met her father. A year later, me and her father had our son. Her mother led her to believe that I will always favor my son over my step daughter. I have had problems with her since then. She used to come over every other weekend and stay with us. I have never treated her different than her brother (my son). Everything changed and got worse three years ago when her mother ended up on drugs and hasn't been seen since. The court gave her father full custody has been living with us full time. She had no boundaries at her real mom's, she got to do whatever she wanted when she wanted and got whatever she wanted. We she came to live with us we had discipline, rules, and chores. She will do them but complain about it all the time. She was caught at the movies making out, she would have oral sex in the school bathroom, she was caught with porn dvd's in her room, she would steal my stuff and hide it, she would run to her father's side of the family (her grandmother and aunties) and whine and cry cause she can't do teenage stuff, lies about why I take things from her when she steals from me. She gives them pitty to make them feel sorry for her still because she doesn't have her mother around. The other day she walks around in the house with her underwear on and I told her to put some clothes on and she cocke up an attitude. She refused to wash half of the dishes. She then started on the favortism part, that I treat my son better than her. I got very upset with her, when she started screaming and yelling and throwing things at me. I honestly threatened to give her an overdue butt whooping. She said she was going to run away so her father would be mad at me. By the way, she did run away, bare footed in the rain. She called her auntie to pick her up, she stayed the night with her, and guess what happened? They showered her with gifts by taking her clothes shopping. Do what? Am I missing something? Her dad will only tell her to go to her room and not go outside, and then not tell her why she is being grounded. He already tells me and reminds me everyday that she hates me. I am at my wit's end. I have two other kids to discipline, love, and shelter. I treat them no different. For a matter of fact, my son has been grounded for 3 weeks now for getting into trouble at school 3 times in one week. I don't like to be in the same room with her. I will stay in my bedroom until dinner. I don't want to do anything anymore. Someone please give me some advice before I pack my things up and leave for good. (Which is probably what she is wishing for).

Comments

LMR120's picture

Sounds to me like now would be a perfect time to not deal with the situation. Remove yourself from it. Dont engage with her let her father. You should focus on your two children and making sure that they are happy and healthy. Having SKIDS that act like that are a big drain on you and takes away from the quality time you spend with your own children. You dont have to be rude to her but you can chose to disengage from her and her drama. I think you will find it a lot less stressful. Do you think you will be able to disengage from her?

MsMaddy's picture

I have disengaged myself from her for two days now. I think I have, also, disengaged myself from her father too.