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Divorce Posion

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:35pm

So just wanted to let you guys know that I just ordered the book off line. Does anyone have this book already that can give me a little insight as to what they guy talks about?

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folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:38pm

Great book. BF and I have read it cover to cover many times over. The section on vacations hit BF hard as the pages were describing BM word for word.

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:41pm

Do you feel that it has helped you guys? Were you able to combat your BMs crazy actions based on the info that he gave? The reason I ask is it is very clear that there is Moderate to severe PAS going on with the kids so thats why i got the book based on some of the girls on here saying it was a great book and would help with it.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:44pm

It covers the many many different forms of PAS and gives many many suggestions for what you can do to work against it. I checked it out at the library when I heard about it on this site and read it. I will be purchasing my own copy so I will have it to reference as I need to.

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:47pm

So say you have a BM who is lying to the kids about father does it say to tell the kids the truth or just let it be?

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:52pm

he he he Im really excited Smile Cant wait to get the book in the mail. I hate waiting for things LOL

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 7:28pm

we use the "fly on the wall" technique a lot...the one where kids are always eavesdropping on adult convo...amazing what they overhear!

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 1:59pm

oh it is when two adults talk about something...knowing the kid is nearby and probably overlistening...you have to be a bit subtle. but... for instance BM lost her job...lied to kids...or BM got a new job and told everyone (kids) it is full time...you say as you are just generally discussing the economy and how hard it is on everyone...(see subtle) ...and "it is hard...gosh, i cannot think how hard it must be on someone like BM, only have a part time job..." BF: yeah that is true...more discussion on economy proceeds.

BF does this a lot in terms of telling me in front of SD abotu things BM said about SS and why he is not visiting etc...he will say "and then BM told me this and I aksed repeatedly for him to come but no..." so SD knows dad tries...because mom says otherwise...

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 5:56pm

He says to do that! I try not to do that. Man ... where have I been. This is going to be good cause we can let the kids know we do love them and want the best for them its BM that is standing in the way.

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:57pm

In my other blog I talked about what happend when BF went to get his kids Friday. He was really upset. He has known for a while that BM could care less if he was around she just wants the money. I think hearing his son say i hate your house knowing there is no good reason too opened his eyes. We went on some websites and looked up PAS (got the term from this site) it fit his oldest to a T. Everything he was doing ans saying and it fit BM to a T and Im not the one who pointed it out we read some webpages and he was like my god i need to do something now before its so late. I have no doubt he will read it, it will be applying the advice that will be a challange for him Smile

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 8:17am

My DH didn't care to read it either. He's reached the point where there's really nothing we can do about it right now. I understand he's ready to let it go, but I still found the book to be incredibly helpful in explaining why things went the way they did in our case. It helped me understand what went wrong, so at least I can rest easier knowing it wasn't something I/we did necessarily. It was what BM was doing that we didn't stop. I also helped me not take the skids rejection quite so personally, as I understand it's what they were taught to do.

I really wish DH would read it so he could understand it better too. I guess I'll just continue to share with him what I think might be helpful for him in coping.

acn's picture

Submitted by acn on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 4:04pm

I bought this for my DH too and he never read it. I was so pissed because it's not that he understands what his rights are and what he should do about them. BM walks all over him. But I have detached. I don't care anymore. Not my kids, not my problem.