BM Stuck to her guns..........

AND took another weekend vistitation.

That makes 5 visits since the new court order dated Sept 2009. This order explicitly told her to stop alienating DH and SD. Plus she signed an agreement that she fully understood this and would not schedule events on DH's weekends.

Well now to court we go........... New documentation for this weekend was sent to the lawyer.

I want to see just how she reacts when she gets this contempt order and has to explain to the judge this information.

Plus DH will miss the next visitation as well, since she has put SD in a dance competition and has no intent on letting him make up his time by switching the visitation weekend. Her text last week basically said he will not get it.... Period.

Hopefully, the court date will be quickly - so she stops taking DH's time with his daughter. This is time he will never get back and it is just not right.

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I remember when you went to

I remember when you went to court back in September.

I really think you guys should go for custody. How many slaps on the wrist is she going to get before she actually loses custody?

Steperg - It is

Steperg - It is expensive.... but we have no other choice.... BM has gotten away with murder for almost 7 years. DH has attempted to handle things outside of court as much as possible but BM just keeps right on screwing him and lying about abuse and all other kinds of things. (Look back in my posts about last years custody case she filed against us......) Thousands in the past 1.5 years alone. But the relationship between DH and SD is worth it. We have to do all we can to protect that relationship and keep it intact.

Anon2009 - We are wondering the exact same thing. How many times is the court going to just slap her on the wrist before they realize this woman has no respect for the relationship between DH and SD, does not respect the court order, and is not going to facilitate a positive relationship between SD and DH at all. DH just wants to be able to exercise his visitation peacefully.... that's it. BM just can not just do as the court order states for whatever reason. I guess she sees the court order as having taken some of her power or something.

********BM doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM! SD is way more important to me - then your feelings...... AND she should be to you as well.......************

Steperg - we are combining

Steperg - we are combining these contempt charges into one. I am glad it was not quite filed as of it. Everything was ready - just waiting to see if she followed through on her nasty text to DH.

But now she (BM) is getting to frequent with taking visitation - it is at least once a month. DH can no longer allow that to happen without getting the judge involved yet again in this case.

yeah, no what you mean

yeah, no what you mean steperg..... we have been through various court cases and now the contempt. Good thing is that DH didn't get a lawyer until the custody case. He did pretty well on his own. But our lawyer has been giving us good rates at least. The documentation we keep has saved us money as well. It keeps the lawyer from having to do so much work on his case.

SD is only 7 years old - and our fear is that if we don't fight..... BM will eventually get to the point where SD and DH never see each other. BUT the joke will be on here..... we will move to where SD lives before we allow that to happen.

Wow.... I am impressed

Wow.... I am impressed Steperg. That was a really nice response! She is blessed, and I hope that this is taken care of before the SD gets any older!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

steperg - it takes a lot of

steperg - it takes a lot of sacrifice to do this. we would much rather be able to save the money to spend time with SD and BD during spring break or christmas time. Or save the money for them later down the road.... But we have little choice..... BM keeps right on attacking the relationship between SD and DH.

I just pray the courts realize some changes and actions need to take place to protect SD and DH's relationship. It is very taxing to spend money, hurt as a result of BM's actions and continue to be victimized by BM.

AND thank you for the well wishes.

advice: ask for

advice: ask for damages.

too often contempt is filed without a request for damages. this results in a slap on the wrist only for mommy dear...who then continues doing what she wants.

ask for damages. and restitution of time. so i would ask for legal fees to be covered minimum, and i would aks for all the makeup time(start high with the court and ask for the entire summer with the child in an effort to overcome the alienation).

How did you get a judge to

How did you get a judge to tell her to stop alienating the kids. Our BM is doing that and we dont know how to prove it or what a judge will listen too?

I think it depends a lot on

I think it depends a lot on the judge, and how open they are to hearing it. I think a lot of judges hear so much of the "he did...she did" stuff and there's always finger-pointing. I think you have to have a judge who's willing to make the effort to separate that much too common finger-pointing from the real aliention. Our judge came from an intact family with no step-parents, step-siblings...any of it. I'm not sure how she came to be deemed the most qualified to be a J&D court judge, but trying to talk to her was pretty much like talking to a horses ass. All we got back was, "ppffffftttttt."

I hear you. BF has a great

I hear you. BF has a great judge through most of his custody fight (2 yrs) then the judge retired so he ended up with some female judge who was still married parents still together and actually cut BF visitation to every other weekend and a Wednesday from 4-8 LOL are you kidding me?! We havent even attepmted to talk to another judge yet because we fear it will be her.

LMR120 - It took alot to get

LMR120 - It took alot to get the alienation clause in the court order for DH. BM has been pulling crap for 6 years and DH was documenting these events for 6 plus years. She started before SD was even born.

The straw that broke the camels back was the fact that last year, DH asked for more time and BM to meet him halfway for visitation since SD started regular school. He moved from Maryland to VA and SD lives in NC. The drive was 5.5 hours one way before and after he moved to va it dropped to 3.0 hours. Since the pick time moved later due to her starting school to 630pm he thought it would be too late for him to do all the driving. Well the judge agreed and granted the extra time in the summer (5 weeks) and both parents driving 1.5 hours to meet/drop off.

Well BM retailited by filing a custody case against us alleging we were abusing SD. She took her to a trauma counselor for several sessions alleging we (specifically myself).

When it finally went to court (9 months later) the counselor notes states there was no abuse found, Mother was coaching SD, and that mother admitted she filed the case due to not wanting to have to drive.

Well that along with all of the other documentation: Meaning books, emails, doctor's notes, logs of medications, letters from BM, daycare and school.... DH was able to get the alienation clause put in the court order. BUT it took enduring years of BMs bull crap before the court took it that serious. Each time BM took him to court (at least twice a year) he was getting more and more time but they never ordered her to stop the foolishness until the abuse counselor noted in court BM was jealous, coached SD and only filed the case cause she did not want to drive.

Folkmom - Thank you for the great advice. We are asking for the judge to have BM pay back the attorney fees, gasoline for traveling the 3 hours for 5 visits, 12 more days of visitation in the summer to make up the time and whatever else the judge sees fit.

The bad part is this: Before they left court in Sept 2009 - they both signed an agreement of understanding. That BM would no longer alienate DH and would allow him access to his daughter as the order allowed. AND that DH understood and would exercise his rights as such. We still have that as well along with the court order.

SO BM is in a situation that is not looking so good. After this - if she continues to pull this type crap -which i am sure she will...... DH will have absolutely no choice but to file his own custody case this time. Before we filed to keep his joint custody intact - since BM was attempting to take it away and all visitation.

You are here

BM Stuck to her guns..........

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