ever since the doctors thing a couple weeks back, bm and i have had a little communication via text messages.

everything has been going very nicely, and its so great. But I still feel like bm does things underhandedly to piss us off, but there is nothing dh or i can do or say because we are on this path of "getting along"

back at the end of last year when we were going through our court battle with bm. and mil had done some really shitty things to dh and i, we no longer had contact with mil, but we told her she could see ss through us and not bm. DH CLEARLY told mil, if you want a relationship with me, than you will not have any type of communication with bm, except to be civil in public. mind you mil talked endless crap about bm, and dh's whole family has told me how horrible she was to bm during the time bm was with my dh. Also, why would any sane loving mother have a relationship with a woman who is harassing her son? well come to find out, mil was behind bm in the whole taking us to court....mil is in fact satan, im convinced. anyways, mil sees ss when he is with bm. and he has spent saturday night with her the last two weekends bm had him. i like that we dont have to share our time with mil any more because she would demand that she have ss at least one night a weekend of our time, not to mention that she wanted at least one night during the week, and we were expected to go up to her house twice a week for dinner...but the bitch cant cook so we were eating fast food.....untill satan started threatening me, we actually complied to keep her happy.

anyways, it really pisses me off, and i feel that bm should not allow ss to see mil when he is with her. this is dh's side of the family and bm should butt out. by allowing mil to see ss, mil figures she can treat us as crappy as she wants because she can see ss through bm.

so here is the convo between bm and i...advice? comments from steps and bios? do we just let it go. should it not bother me because when it comes to it, everything is great not dealing with mil at all?

me:i hope this doesnt cause a bunch or drama, but if we are all going to try and get along i just want to ask honestly, how would you feel if it were you in our position?how would you feel if your bf's mom did what mil is doing and his exwife did to you what you are doing to us? i just dont understand. she has said such horrible things about you, why do you let her use you to see ss? so she gets what she wants and doesnt have to give a crap about her sons feelings? dont you think this should be between mil and my dh?

Im just trying to clear the air and know your side so that we can truthfully make an attempt at getting along. I have been told by dh's whole family how horrible she was to you, and i just dont understand why you would feel that allowing her to do this is more important that getting along with dh for your sons sake?

Bm: because i have a big heart. and i will not take ss away from her, he loves her very nuch and i wont use him as leverage because she said petty things yrs ago

me: no she said nasty things up to the point she knew she was going to need to use you to see ss because she wasnt going to push me around anymore. i know that you have a big heart, and i can se where you are coming from about it being solely about ss. i just dont see how we are all supposed to get along with all this going on. to me it seems you should not be interfering and dh and mil should figure it out.

bm: it is between dh and mil, but until they work it out, im not going to stress ss out more by not letting her c him. that is not fair for him, none of this is his fault

me: i hope you are never treated by your bf's mom the way she has us. as much as i want us all to get along its so frustrating to see this happening, im sure you wouldnt like if it was you in our place. and you are right, but how are mil and dh going to work on things when she knows she can treat us how ever she wants because she can go to you for seeing ss, instead of treating her own son with respect? also, thank you for texting me back. im not trying to upset you, i just want to resolve these issues i have with this so that we all can actually make an attempt at truthfully getting along

bm: im not getting in the middle, i am just doing whats best for ss, i wish mil and dh would at least try to talk but thats not my place.

i see, i guess its just hard for us to see the good in ss being around her at this point. i dont know that we will ever have a relationship with mil, biut for dh and i whats most important is the we can get along with you.

bm:she still wants a relationship with you guys. just because she sees ss through me thats not all she wants. she has cried so much because she misses her son.

bm: i think we can still wk on our relationship i want nothin more than 4 us to continue to get along

me: some one who has done what she has, only wants a relationship on her terms. she may act sad, but really she has done nothing to fix things

bm: she wants to sit and talk with you and make amends but dh wont talk to her. (**exactly, she wants to only make amends with dh not me, she has said she is not sorry about the things she has dont to me, when will she get it through her slut head her son chose me over her)

me: i have faoth you knw exactly how manipulative that woman is.she made her choices to be where she is at. she wanted to prove she could treat us however she wanted and the run to you to get what she wants, she just never thought dh would chose me over her. now she doesnt like the concequences of her actions. anyways, what happens with dh and mil is up to him, but i will never make amends again. she wont lay so much as a finger on any child i give birth to, she wont emotionally damage my child like she has ss

bm: i understand where you are coming from, but ss loves her so much. he cries for her she has never done anything bad to him. so i hope we can continue to work on our relationship. ss needs to know we can all get along.

me: yep,i agree about us working on things. and i understand better now. thank you for letting me come to you about this.

bm: no prob, now i hope you can see that im not a bad person. hope you guys have a good day. ill have ss call when he gets home. thanks for the talk to day smnikki, its nice to kknow we are putting forth an effort and not fighting.